Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Vanity is the new Irony

My old house had a built-in vanity in the bathroom. I am lazy, and I am vain, so I liked very much getting to sit down each morning to apply my makeup and fix my hair in front of a well-lit mirror.

This house --- does not.

So I bought a writing desk to put in my bedroom, to use as a vanity. To apply my make up and fix my hair and make myself beautiful each morning.

Then I bought a mirror to put on the desk, so I could watch myself apply my make up and fix my hair and make myself beautiful.

Then I bought a new chair to sit at the new desk and look in the new mirror and apply my make up and fix my hair and make myself beautiful.

The chair was too high. I couldn’t see in the mirror without scrunching down like a little old lady with bad posture.

So Blaine took the covered ends off each of the chair legs, cut off a few inches of each of the chair legs, and tried to put the plastic coverings back on the ends. But they were a tight fit and wouldn’t go back on easily. And his hammer was way far away in the garage. So he grabbed my hairbrush and started banging.

So that the chair would be the right height, so I could sit at my new vanity, and look in my new mirror, and apply my make up and fix my hair and make myself beautiful each day.

The hair brush was apparently not an adequate replacement for a hammer. It snapped in half while he was pounding on the chair legs.

So now, I have a new vanity, and a new mirror, and a new chair. And un-brushed hair every day because I can’t remember to go to the store and buy a new brush. And much like the hairbrush was not an adequate replacement for the hammer, my fingers are not an adequate replacement for the hairbrush.

Un-brushed hair? After a few days?

Is not so beautiful.

I look like a bush.

So much for vanity.

13 comments:

cakeburnette said...

You are toooooo funny!

Trisha in Leesburg, VA said...

thanks for the morning laugh~ you rock Kristie! :)

Cathy in MI said...

Kristie, you are just hilarious. I can totally imagine how all of this is happening and leading up to no brush :) he he he - I am not laughing at your hair (because you didn't post a picture for us). I am laughing because you are so darn funny in your story telling.

The Running Girl said...

You are cracking me up.

Kelli said...

High-larious, as my mil would say. Thanks for the morning laugh!

Kelly said...

You make me laugh....every....time. Thanks!

Jenny said...

Haha! Kristie you made me laugh today! I needed that. thank you very very much.

As for your unbrushed hair, bushy can be a new trend that you can start!! Coolio :)

Pam Earley said...

Okay - I must have had your "Vienna Sausages" situation in my head yesterday. I am a gymnastics coach, and last night I was coaching itty bitty guys that come in with their parent. The mom was giggling because she had told her DD to put her hands on her hips. The little girl tried to obey and put her hands on the small of her back. Her mom told me, 'I love how her "hips" are on her back.' My intelligent response???
'That's okay - she's in the right genital area.'
Then, complete silence. Except for my co-coach who was laughing hysterically. Never have I wanted the earth to just swallow me up more.

Tracey in Calgary said...

Photos, photos, photos...I want phoooooooootooooooos!! lol Sorry, just dying to see some of your new house, pick a room! :-)

Sorry to hear about your hair, yikes!

Cindi said...

Way too funny...my hubby once used my good hair brush for something other than brushing hair and broke it. I told him to go out and buy me another one...and he did!

I really enjoy reading about you and your family!

Mixed Up Me said...

This is so funny! I never take the time to go find a hammer . . . I always use whatever is in reach . . . shoe, remote, whatever!!

Anonymous said...

I just knew you were going to say the brush snapped and broke the mirror, which in turn fell and scratched up the desk.......this thing could have kept going:) You make me smile out loud!
~Debbie~
Alabama

Beth said...

Oh Kristie- it is really so much easier than buying a vanity, a chiar AND a mirror. I have one of those 4 foot tall mirrors like you would put on the back of a door that I take out to the living room , to the comfy couch everyday and that is where I do my make-up whil watching tv. It could explain why I always end up running late! I then sit on the side of the tub to dry my hair- as for the fixing, I have to stand. But everything else works quite nicely!