Friday, November 30, 2007

Please Don’t Squeeze the Charmin

So I found the boxes yesterday that contained the items from our previous bathrooms. We had two bathrooms in the other house, a master, and the one the kids shared. Obviously, we kept toilet paper in both places, and I always tried to have a spare package or two in the garage. I don’t shop in bulk, technically, but toilet paper is one thing I do NOT like to discover I am out of, once it is too late, if you get my drift.

And do you know what I discovered in those boxes? Once I was finished emptying the contents of the boxes onto my bed? Sixty-eight rolls of toilet paper --- SIXTY-EIGHT!

What the crap was I thinking? (no pun intended) That Mr. Whipple was going on strike? That the entire free world would run out of toilet paper? That I might need to TP the houses of every single person in the state of Indiana??????

I can’t find my electric knife, the curtains for my kitchen, or Brayden’s right Sunday shoe. But by golly, we can wipe with confidence.

The only thing more shocking is remembering that the packers didn’t leave us one darn roll when they packed up.


Anonymous said...

Awww...Mr Whipple passed away a week or two ago, and I'm sure he's in heaven smiling down on you, Kristie! :)

Isn't it amazing the things you discover when you unpack boxes? I H.A.T.E. moving.

Happy Friday!

Laurie said...

Oh, gosh. That is so funny.

I am a toilet paper hog. I have an entire hall closet in my house dedicated to Cottonelle. I think my husband is ready to commit me.

Hope you find that other shoe!

Julie H. said...

You crack me up! I so look forward to reading your blog!

Grandma J said...

I think the movers were probably in shock when they saw your stash! They probaby have a sick sense of humor too.
How funny would it be to deprive a compulsive person of the one thing they horde?
Those guys are still laughing knowing they left you "high and dry" so to speak.

I know you will find that shoe, but an electric knife? I never used mine and got rid of it when I moved to TX.

Sue said...

So, if we hear of a major toilet paper shortage in Georgia, we know who's responsible, right?

Or if a certain boy gets to be of about football-playing age, and all of the trees in an Oklahoma town are totally TP'd for homecoming, we'll know exactly where the supplies came from!

I hope you find the shoe! From my own moving experience, it'll be in a box, marked "MISC.", next to the 15 other boxes all marked "MISC." The knife will be in with someone's clothing. I think there's a moving gremlin that magically shuffles stuff from box to box on the moving truck.

I hope you're all settling in to your new home, and enjoying it!

Sue (Rachel's mom)

Renee said...

Mr. Wipple just died. Must have been thinking about him.

Dianna in Louisiana said...


I will resist the urge to write some snazzy comment about you being full of something and needing so much TP since I absolutely positive do not think that you are full of anything.... except for maybe great prose to entertain your readers. Glad to read that all went well with your move and your back home.

Dianna in Louisiana

Trish in Leesburg said...

I only wish I had 68 rolls! lol! We have been on the other end and run out without knowing it in time. Luckily we have the baby and therefore wipes!
Glad to hear things are moving along with the unpacking!

Leesburg, VA

Anonymous said...

I remember one thing from reading Glamour all those years ago: One can NEVER own too much toilet paper. That is my reasoning every time I go to Target or the grocery store and pick up a Charmin mongo pack. Paper towles just don't cut it when you run out of TP!
Glad you're getting all settled in, hope the kids are enjoying their new school and Blaine is feeling better.

Dayna said...

You and my Dad would be good friends. I once opened his pantry and he had 12 cans of coffee, and 6 bottles of BBQ sauce. Because, well, they were on sale, and they would need it eventually.

Stephanie said...

LOL! Doesn't it just figure!!

I need a favor...Erin said that you had some ideas of poses when she took your family pix...can you point me in the direction of any good online sources for ideas for poses? Our pix are next weekend! Thanks!!


Anonymous said...

How did you go from a few rolls in each bathroom and 2 packs in the garage to 68 ROLLS???? lol I'm a hoarder for things that are important to me like paper towels, coffee, sugar and pasta - everything else I figure I can do without, but with those essentials I can live for quite awhile if say we ever got stuck in a snow storm for weeks which hasn't happened in my part of Virginia for like 18 years, but you never know!!!!


Anonymous said...

Awww...a soulmate. It's Charmin with Aloe here and I buy many huge packages at a time in fear of running out. I never get below two packages, It's just a rule!

Dixie in CA

WendyK said...

LOL! I get laughed at for buying Sam's packs of TP, but we have never run out ;).

That other shoe will be in the last box you unpack, no matter which box you choose last. *sigh*

Hmm, so what is an electric knife for? I never could figure it out, so I gave mine away.

Betsy said...

When we cleaned out my parent's home we found 47 bottles of Dawn dishwashing liquid!

Glad to hear the unpacking is going well!

Anonymous said...

That reminds me. When my grandma passed away and we were cleaning things out we found baggies, baggies and more baggies, every size you could imagine. We got quite a kick out of it and are still using them to this day.

Shannon from Iowa

Caroline said...

When we moved last time we found 8 jars of the same salsa - our favorite. I thought my boyfriend as going to kill me! But at least you won't run out, right???

I also have some questions for you about how you have set up your site. I love the row of pictures you have at the top and I love even more that they change every time the page loads. How do you do that? Also, do you type your updates in Word and then post them? I've had a hard time doing some of the formatting things I've seen you do, so I was just wondering. You can email me at or post at my blog, Thanks!

katy said...

I recently found super mega rolls. Each roll is equal to 4 regular rolls so I can keep a package of 12 or two packages of 12 and be happy.

Anonymous said...

I love reading your blog.. I have to say as I was reading this all I kept thinking is that i have a whole shelf in my hall closet full of TP! And that is because my kids think they need half a roll to wipe.. ohh and did i mention they were boys.. dont they know to shake?!?!