Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Pass the Kerosene Lantern, Please

Yesterday, when the Cox guy came to set up my computer (can you hear the angels singing?) we discovered there was no phone jack in the office. I hate technology.

He said he could install one, but it would cost us an extra $55.00. I hate expensive technology.

Late last night after everyone else was in bed, I unpacked all the computer components and did my best to hook everything back up (bearing in mind I was NOT the person who unhooked the stuff in Georgia and had no idea which wires went to which thing.) I hate technological work.

Naturally, both the keyboard and the mouse did not work. I hate technology even more.

Then I realized the instruction manual to the computer was packed in a separate box, but good guess as to which one, piled up all the way to the ceiling ..... so I gave up and went to bed, having technological nightmares all night, with visions of ten days worth of unopened e-mail taunting me.

I got up this morning, and discovered both the keyboard and the mouse, which weren't working last night, and to which I had done NOTHING in between, were now working fine. Have I mentioned I hate technology?

Got ready to try and access my e-mail, only to lose power in the entire house. Called the electric company, who didn't technically confess they had turned power off instead of transferring the account, but I have my suspicions. They agreed to send someone out to turn it back on, and we commenced unpacking in the dark. At this point, I told Blaine life would be easier a hundred years ago, without all this electronic, high-powered, high-speed, high-voltage, breaker box stuff to worry about.

Thirty minutes later, with the temperature in the house falling rapidly, I confessed that I wouldn't like to live in the Dark Ages after all, and was very grateful when the electric guy showed up.

AT LONG LAST, computer was up, connected, working, and ready for me to change my e-mail server to the OKC Cox center from the Middle GA Cox Center.

This was the point where I discovered that despite what I was told in Georgia about having 30 days to keep my account and e-mail, despite the fact it is Cox Communications in both states, despite the fact we can PUT A MAN ON THE FUCKING MOON, that it is NOT POSSIBLE for them to transfer e-mail, or for me to receive any of the e-mails that have been sent to me the past ten days.

That in order to turn ON my Oklahoma e-mail account, they have to turn OFF the Georgia account, and when that happens, all e-mails on the server, approximately 1200 by my estimate, will be automatically deleted.

That was the point where my head spun around and monkeys flew out of my ass, because it was only 10 am and it was the second time TODAY that a customer service person had said to me, in so many words, "Too bad, so sad."


If you have e-mailed me in the past ten days, I did not, and will not, receive it. Please read the following instructions:

1. If you are a friend and e-mailed me personally, please send it again.
1 1/2. If you are a stranger and e-mailed me personally, please send it again.
2. If you are one of my online bills, I promise, the check is in the mail. Er, the internet.
3. If you are any of the occasional spam mail I get, which thankfully isn't too often, take a hike anyway.
4. If you are any of the online retailers who e-mail me, I'm hoping I've been deleted from your address book because you people reproduce like bacteria on wet bread.
5. Someone from my leukemia parents list, please bring me up to speed on how everyone is doing.
6. Someone from my surrogacy list, please bring me up to speed on how everyone is doing.
7. Someone from my scrapbooking list, please bring me up to speed on how everyone is doing.
8. Logan from the OKC Cox technical support team, thank you for explaining it to me and have a very nice day. You were efficient and helpful and kind, and I appreciate that you agreed with me that the entire situation blew.
9. Tanya from the Middle GA technical support team, you need a serious in-service on customer support. When I told you not to talk to me like I was stupid, I meant it. You almost ruined my morning with your snippy little attitude. You will get coal in your stocking.

I hate technology. But I liked Logan.


leeanne said...

Welcome back, Kristie! Yeah, tech sucks but the e-mail thing will heal itself in no time. :-) Have fun getting settled in!

Renee said...

Techno bastards. Insanity. Power people here "forgot" to transfer the service, too, and we painted in 90 degree heat. And they wanted to charge us a $200 emergency reconnect service. Didn't happen. Glad you're back up and running.

Anonymous said...

Glad that you are up and running again.

Grandma J said...

Oh wow, Kristie, I feel your pain....HONESTLY, I do!

After having my cable company change hands several times from mediaone to ATT to comcast and finally to rr, (without me moving), and losing tons of emails each time,I decided to use Hotmail....you can access it anywhere. The worse for me was having to open new accounts with online services like Paypal, Ebay, and Amazon (just to name a few). If you can't remember which email address you originally opened your account under (and the password and secret security questions) then you are SOL. In reality it IS easier to put a man on the moon.

Sorry for all the glitches...and one more thing, F*(& Tanya.

Leeann said...

Man, that kind of sucks.

But it is good to see that you are back, and up and running.

All your fan mail can now re-commence! lol


Cate said...

I so feel your pain! When I moved to my new house at the end of August, I called in July to make sure the internet would be up the day I moved in since I work from home and it is critical for business. Thanks to a technician dropping the ball, I found out that not only would the cable not be connected like I asked, it would be three weeks. THREE WEEKS! I finally chewed out enough supervisors and managers that they got a tech guy out to the house and hooked the cable up in a matter of a couple of days, not weeks. Bastards. Can you believe I had to suffer and work from Starbucks for two days?! Okay, that part of the deal worked out.

jadine said...


Awful, just awful :(

I'll update you about one of your lists :)


Anonymous said...

Welcome back! I recommend gmail for an email account. It never goes anywhere, storage is unlimited and it's easy to use (and free too!).

Good luck moving in!


M, Ms. R, Mom, Auntie M, Marey said...

...lesson 1- Use Hotmail or g-mail...it is always there on any computer.

...lesson 2-...ah what the hell, have a drink!

*If it helps, I did email you and it bounced back...so you most likely wouldn't have a ton of emails saved for you.

Anonymous said...

Why don't you try a Gmail email account, which isn't tied to any particular service provider? Unlimited storage and accessible from any computer!

Catty Ax Lady said...

Ahhh. Lemme tell you something. I could feel the love in your technological voice when you wrote about the customer service woman being a wench to you.

Actually, I feel your pain. I'm glad you're back, and glad your home is noce and toasty again.

Caroline said...

I was worried that your emails were going to be gone when I left a comment on a previous post and the email notifying you bounced back. Like others, I recommend Gmail. You can also have Gmail forward to your Cox address, so it will still be in the same place as you're used to, but you can also access it from anywhere and they keep a copy of every email on their server, so you won't lose it. I love it! My boyfriend is a computer technician, that's the only reason I know that. And even though I love him and everything, I still hate technology and get really mad at him PERSONALLY when something tech doesn't work correctly. Because it's HIS fault the servers are down at my bank.....

Anonymous said...

Hi Kristie --

I am compelled to offer my very sophisticated cure for all high tech problems - which I bet you did so beautifully last night! It's this thing known as "turn off the power"! On and off! That's it! That one technique has worked more technological "cures" than any other!


Anonymous said...

Is there a Sonic nearby? Head on over, forget about boxes and the computer and grab a large Dr. Pepper. You'll feel better, at least for a little while.


Glad your back despite all the problems.

Chris M. said...

My husband is a techno-geek (higher up the ladder than CustServ, but still the same can't-help-you attitude). Much as I love him, I swear to God, sometimes I think they do that sh** on purpose just to see how the rest of us will react. I imagine them sitting there, in their cubicles, rubbing their tented fingers together while saying, "Exceeelllleeent."

Assholes. All of 'em.

But I will deny to him until I turn blue in the face that I ever said that.

Daisy Duke said...

To reiterate what others are saying- if you get a gmail account you have unlimited storage, it is free, it can be accessed from any computer in the world, and you can "google" search within your email. It also has a great spam filter & "Stacks" conversations within the same subject, so if someone sends a group email to 10 people, and all 10 people respond to it before you read it you only have ONE new email with the 10 responses spindled onto it- instead of 10 emails to click through. www.gmail.com Oh, and it is very very user friendly.