Lessons Learned Today

1. A ratio of six kids to one adult at the local amusement park is actually not that bad, assuming all of them are willing to listen.

2. No matter how brave your nephew says he is, watching the people in front of him get stuck upside down on a ride will make him a tad nervous.

3. When paying six dollars for a personal pizza, Mom thinks you are being wasteful if you don’t eat the crust. So especially don’t ask for a five dollar sucker afterwards.

4. Just because your ten-year old son has the courage to ride all the “big” rides, doesn’t mean he has the stomach to ride the twirly, spinny ones.

5. When letting your pale, nauseous, sweaty, shaky, son cool off in the pizza parlor with a Sprite, it is perhaps not a good idea to let your 8-yr old daughter ride the Pirate Ship eight times in a row.

6. And then the teacups three times in a row.

7. Kids, when you tell your mom you think you might throw up, listen to her when she says to throw up in the bushes or on the grass. Don’t argue that it’s disgusting and you should be looking for a trash can. The trash cans at this park have non-removable covers on them and trust me, you’re not talented enough to throw up at that angle.

8. When you actually do throw up in the bushes, don’t feel embarrassed that other people are watching. Even if they do point and say “Ewwww” really loud.

9. Because a few minutes later you will see a teenage boy attempting to throw up in a trashcan.

10. A trash can with a lid on it.

11. And he will miss the angle, and spew vomit all down the front of the trashcan and all over his own feet and legs.

12. And you will point and say “Ewww” really loudly, even though you know it’s not polite.

13. And you will realize your mom is a freaking GENIUS about throwing up in the bushes.

14. All done!