Almost Half-Way

When I was at about the four-month mark in the pregnancy, my IM approached me about the possibility of me having an amniocentesis at the same time as the “big” ultrasound that is usually scheduled for the half-way mark. Not necessarily because we suspected anything was wrong, but because she was 39 when her eggs were harvested, and I think she wanted to hear an official “all-clear” on the health of the baby.

And so we decided, hey, we might as well make a party out of it. So they bought me a plane ticket to their home state, and we turned it into a three-day visit. And because I am nothing if not efficient (ie, lazy as anything) I’ll simply re-post excerpts from my original journal to tell you how things went:

Journal entry dated December 20, 2001:

“Wow, what an amazing time I had this weekend! I don’t even know if I can explain how great it was to spend time with this wonderful family and be included in their life, even if just for a few days ….

My first night in, we had dinner with her entire family, his entire family, some neighbors, and friends. Fifteen adults and nine children; with me placed firmly at the head of the table, toasts made and everything. It was definitely trial by fire, and I did feel self-conscious at first being the center of attention, but I had a very good time. They all were incredibly friendly and worked hard to make me feel at ease. This baby is obviously being welcomed by a lot of people! …..

The second day we got up and did the tour of NYC. I think I saw more in twelve hours than most people see in a week! Ground Zero, the top of the Empire State Building, Times Square (including Toys R Us), my first hot dog from a street vendor, the Plaza, horse and buggy ride around Central Park, FAO Schwartz, 5th Avenue, St. Patrick’s Cathedral, Rockefeller Center, dinner, and Les Mis on Broadway … whew! I was exhausted by the time we returned home. Well, not really exhausted, I was kind of hopped up on all the sightseeing. S. had rented a car and driver for us so we didn’t have to hassle (or should I say, SHE didn’t have to hassle – like I would have been any help at all?) with traffic and parking. It was drizzling in the morning and a little on the cool side, but still a great day. And what better time to experience NYC than during the Christmas season? It is such a busy city, and she went to great lengths to make sure I had the complete tourist experience…

The next morning we all went to the doctor’s for the ultrasound and amnio. Everything went just fine and we are pretty sure they are having a girl (which is what I wanted, although it’s really not any of my business!) We’ll know for sure in a few weeks when the amnio results come in, but the tech said she was pretty sure. I think the staff was a little confused about the situation; who was who, why was my personal physician in another state, etc. The doctor was a bit gruff at the beginning, but warmed up after a few minutes. Then, during the post-op instruction portion, the nurses became quite interested in the process, asking S. and me lots of questions about surrogacy and our situation. Sometimes when that happens I am a little nervous about being a spokesperson for surrogacy in general. What if I don’t give the right answers? It was nice having S. there with me to answer their questions, and to make sure they got both perspectives….

I was supposed to be on “bed rest” for the next 24 hours, so we just went back to their house, had lunch, watched movies, and had friends come over to visit. It was very special for me to get to witness S. calling her sister on the phone, with the “it’s a girl!” announcement, and see her friends and family so obviously caring about the results. I got to look through their photo albums and just hang out, being lazy the entire day. How nice for me, but they must think I am one awful houseguest, just taking up space on their sofa! ….

I had a fantastic time and like this family even more now. I feel so lucky to have spent time with them like this and to have been welcomed in such a warm fashion. I mean, let’s be honest, I pretty much invited myself to stay in their home --- what else were they going to do, say no?? But they were kind, gracious hosts and I enjoyed myself immensely. Now, I just want the amnio results to come back and find out if it’s really a girl, and that everything is ok.