Friday, June 27, 2008

Be careful or you might get what you wish for

So, the sun came out, just like I hoped. Which was good, considering I had six bored kids in the living room. So we went to the water park. And played. And had fun. And all was well.

Well, let’s back up. Remember when I talked about my hatred for shopping for swimsuits? And how I only owned two suits, and they were both about seven years old, but I just kept wearing them over and over because they both still fit, even if not well? Well, um, I guess I spoke too soon because the last time we went to the lake, I ripped the seam out of one of them. Most definitely because of the friction caused from the innertube. NOT because of the size of my love handles.

So anyway, I took the cowards way out and bought two new suits online. And they arrived this week, and surprisingly, fit fairly well. So I wore one to the water park today.

And I wasn’t even too embarrassed as I walked around, because for once, neither my rear end nor my boobs were hanging out. And the neckline was fairly flattering. And the tummy control panel might have even worked a little bit. And while Sports Illustrated, Swimsuit Edition, wasn’t exactly beating a path to my door, I was able to feel decent about the way I looked.

As I walked around the park, all over the park, I continued to feel ok. When I went back to the locker to get my nephew’s shorts, when he ripped the seat out of his swimsuit, bless his little blonde head --- felt ok. And when I walked to the gift shop to buy him a new swimsuit when we realized his shorts were white. And when I walked Brayden out to the curb so her dad could take her to the doctor’s office (Oh, outer ear infection, why must you make your appearance on a pool day???) And when I walked my other nephew to the soda kiosk. And when I walked our small cooler back to our locker after lunch. And when I walked Kendrie to the bathroom. Etc. Etc. You get the picture.

So why is it, when I returned home late this afternoon --- hot, sweaty, and disheveled, and hopped into the shower ….. and felt something weird while showering ….. I realized that the “hygienic panty liner” that they put in all new swimsuits had been hanging out of my right butt cheek the entire day, and NOT ONE OF THOSE UNGRATEFUL KIDS COULD BE BOTHERED TO TELL ME!?!?!?!

30 comments:

Anonymous said...

OMG THAT IS HILARIOUS!!!!! I DID NOT SEE THAT ONE COMING. LOL!
Claire in TX

Stefunkc said...

So sorry I missed that!

Monica H said...

LMAO!!! Too freakin' funny- that just made my night. Thanks!

Oh, BTW, where did you order your swimsuits from? I've always been apprehensive of buying suits you can't try on.

Erin said...

oh my goodness I totally didn't expect to read that.. Yikes!

Rhonda said...

LMAO....That is totally hilarious! I bet people thought it was a panty liner on your ass!

Tracey in Calgary said...

LMAO!

There is some hope...it's *possible* that it was 'working it's way out' over the day and didn't truly start obviously sticking out till the very end...it's possible?? Maybe not even till you got home? Maybe it was from sitting in the car seat on the drive home? I'm just sayin'...:-)
Where did you order the suit from, it sounds like a good one!

Frozen Star said...

Heh, at least you brightened my day with that story =D

Leeann said...

ROFL! That is hilarious! Kids being kids, it probably didn't even register with them.

So I agree with all your commenters. Where did you get your suits? Send a link to which ones you chose!

Leeann

Cathy said...

Oh my gosh!! I am hesitant to tell you that I just spit coffee all over my pj's!

I agree that maybe it happened it the car, on the way home. :) Let's just think that!

Greeneyes said...

You sure do have a way of making a girl feel better about herself.

;)

Jacquie said...

Oh no! Great telling, you had me giggling from the start, just guessing what the down side might be. This would be a perfect story for the "high point, low point" query on my blog today if you feel like cracking up some people you don't even know!

http://meandyouandellie.blogspot.com/2008/06/weekend-3-way_27.html

Cindi said...

I just burst out laughing so loud! You couldn't make this stuff up if you had to!

Marisa said...

I am cracking up!! SO Funny !!!

Pam Doughty said...

bwaaa haaa haaaaa..... TOO funny!
(leaving in the morning for Gulf Trace... pray for no red flags!)

CAT said...

Hey Kristie,

That is sooo funny, sorry for you though! You better talk to those kids and explain how important it is to report things like that to you immediately!!

Hope you have a better day today...

Cathy

Anonymous said...

That was HILARIOUS! I thought that crap only happened to me!!!

Lenaya

momto2boys said...

That is classic! Way too funny! Kind of like when there's a big old piece of lunch on your tooth and no one tells you...

URBAN BLONDE said...

All the way through your post I kept saying, "Pictures, we need Pictures!" I'm always on the lookout for a good well fitted swimsuit.

That is until I got to the end! LMAO! No pictures PLEASE!!!! ;)

Anonymous said...

Lands' End, www.landsend.com, is a great place to buy swimsuits. They also categorize by leg opening, which body types they work well on, etc. Mix and match on the two-piece suits is a definite plus, too. They cost a little more, but the quality is well worth it. I have stuff from them that's 10+ yrs. old and it still looks new!

Stephanie in MN

Tammy in Ohio said...

i thought you were going to say you had toilet paper hanging out of your rear end. or the suit was on backwards. that is to funny! sorry though. at least it wasn't that time of the month!

Jacqueline said...

LOL...sorry Kristie but that is too funny! More importantly...did your husband not notice or did he just not say anything either?

Wendy Caffrey said...

Yes, you definitely need to discuss this with the kids! Especially since they're nearly at eye-level. I'm sure your husband would have been looking at your butt even if no one else was, so it must have crept out on the way home. Bet you don't forget to take the liner out from now on, though! ;)

www.notesfromthesleepdeprived.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Crying I am laughing so hard!

Missy said...

OMG! Poor Kristie. LOL! It could only happen to you. Poor thing.

Hugs & lots & lots of chocolate to make it all better.

Missy K in MD

p.s: first post...found your blog a few weeks ago & HAD to go back & read it all. You just crack me up.

Anonymous said...

Kristie,
It's been awhile since I have posted, but you totally crack me up!!!! I was dying laughing about the panty liner!!!! You need to write a book. Thanks for the laugh, you made my night.
Love,
Lisa Eddy

Lisa said...

Kristie,
You totally crack me up! I was dying laughing. You really should write a book!! Thank you for the laugh, I needed that.
Love,
Lisa Eddy

krueth said...

That is absolutly the funniest. I was waiting to hear something funny, but not that. You are a riot. Wendy

Haley said...

Let's just hope that your kids didn't notice because it wasn't obvious and none of the other water park attendees noticed for the very same reason! Wishful thinking! :)

And you've taught us all a very important lesson!

katy said...

I thought for sure you were going to say it was see through when wet and you didn't realize it until you got home and looked in the mirror.

Patty House said...

I'm laughig So Hard that I can hardly stand it. If *I* had been there, I would have told you!

Where did you get your swimsuit from? I need something that fits well! I will hardly be caught in my own backyard in mine.

Email me, I'm the one who emailed you about my boss's son. =) If I don't hear from you...I'll email you. I need a new swimsuit.