Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Sweet Niblets!

I took the girls to the public library last weekend, and was a little surprised when Kendrie brought me *this* book and asked if she could check it out.



Apparently she had shown it to Brayden, who informed her that the book was “inappropriate” and that I would most likely say no. And I’ll admit my first reaction was negative, until I noticed it said right on the front cover: A Series for the Christian Family. I mean, how bad could it be? It’s for the CHRISTIAN family (As opposed to today’s Pagan Families?? I don’t know, but it made me feel reassured.) Then, I noticed the “Ages 6 to 8” guide, also on the front, and felt sure that this book was probably appropriate in content.

Just to be on the safe side, though, I told Kendrie that *I* would check it out, and read it first, then if I thought it was ok to share, we could read it together.

See? See what a calm, mature, responsible parent I am?

And I took the book home and started reading.

Chapter One: Suzanne Has a Birthday. Talks about how families grow and change, and how families can be made via a child being born or adopted. Talks about how families get bigger, then get smaller when children move away, then possibly get bigger if grandparents come to live, but no matter what, they are special and love one another --- Why yes, obviously this book is very appropriate and I am totally comfortable with the message they are sharing.

Chapter Two: A Trip to the Museum. Suzanne takes a trip to a museum with her parents, and her friend Billy comes along, too. After marveling at the miracle of baby chicks being born, they take a quick side trip over to the Human Anatomy Exhibition, and discuss the Miracle of Human Birth, complete with descriptions of the female uterus, which starts out small but grows like a balloon to accommodate a growing pregnancy --- Well, *I* have no problems with that, but I wonder how Billy’s parents felt???

Chapter Three: Boys and Girls - Mothers and Fathers. Discusses role models and stereo-typing, and the fact that only girls can be mothers and only boys can be fathers --- A relatively short chapter, which is disappointing, since Billy’s little brother Freddy was just starting to grasp the situation and understand he couldn’t be a mother, but he *could* be a cook.

Chapter Four: The Sewing Room Visit. Suzanne visits her mother in her sewing room and finds out her mommy is going to have a baby. Suzanne is nervous about not being the baby herself anymore, but her mother reassures her that parents have enough love for everyone. They talk about how special babies are, and how exciting it is her mommy has a baby in her tummy. Then Suzanne, that little brat, can’t leave well enough alone, can she? She wants to know how the baby got *IN* her mommy’s tummy. And her mommy explains to her about how a man has a special part called sperm and a woman has a special part call an ovum. She then proceeds to tell Suzanne that when a man and a woman love one another and get married, they like to show their love for one another by doing special things for each other. And that their bodies were made to fit together a certain way that allows the sperm and ovum to join together in the woman’s body and make a baby. ---- I’m sorry, but whatever happened to the good ol’ stork??? Or even a cabbage patch?? And around our house, the special way that Blaine and I show our love for one another involves taking out the trash and cleaning hair that doesn’t belong to you out of the shower drain.

Chapter Five: Daddy is Home. Suzanne’s daddy comes home from work to find out that Suzanne knows about the baby. And once again, here come the questions. Now if Suzanne’s parents knew what was good for them, they’d plop her happy butt in front of the television and let her get her sex ed where every other kid in America gets it: Disney channel. But oh, no, they’ve got to be all up front and matter of fact about it, and start telling her about vaginas and vulvas and how the sperm passes out of the penis and comes from the scrotum, and wait, what on EARTH are those pictures of???? Ah, HELL NO, my 8 yr old isn’t ready for this. I don’t know if *I’m* ready for this!!! So at this point, I did what any other calm, mature, responsible parent would do:

“Hey, Kendrie, where’s that book you got about dolphins?!?!? Let’s read THAT!!!!”

27 comments:

WendyK said...

Oh my goodness! I cannot believe that is said to be for 6-8 year olds. I have an almost 8 year old, and all I can say without being ugly is umm, no way!

Anonymous said...

Kristie - This was the same age I had to fill Riley in on all the details....pretty horrifying.

I would rather it be you though giving her the right info now - or soon - than what she will get at school...and go years trying to piece it together. Love Erin

Ps. I have been offline for a while - glad to hear you all are getting settled in. I am about to go back and read your past posts...

Anonymous said...

I had to read a book similar to that to my FIVE year old daughter. She is now 23. She was in kindergarten and her best friend, "Mandy", told her all about how babies came to be. So I called Mandy's mom and she said she had read her this book and I could borrow it. Well, I did and I read it to her, except for two pages that I couldn't bear to read (about how the sperm got there). When I got to those pages, I just turned two at the same time and skipped that part altogether. That seemed to satisfy her. But I am still kinda peeved at Mandy's mom for putting me in that situation so early. I wasn't ready for that yet.

Chris M. said...

My favorite part? The fact that the title says it is 'updated and expanded'.

Did the process change over the years? Perhaps it has been too long since we have added to the family!! (Not that we are going to...)

Jenny said...

haha! Wow Kristy I love your posts! Makes me crack up all the time! What do they let kids read these days?? crazyness :)

Anonymous said...

Two chapter threes?!

Love the blog!

Kristie said...

Anonymous, thanks for the chapter 3 heads up. Obviously I shouldn't type past 10 pm without the aid of caffeiene. Caffiene. Caffene. Whatever.

cakeburnette said...

I think the nefarious plan of the publishers is to gross out 6-8 year olds so much that they never want to try anything. I know just reading your description of the book grossed me out and I'm almost 40! Blech. I hate anatomical words.

cakeburnette said...

I think the nefarious plan of the publishers is to gross out 6-8 year olds so much that they never want to try anything. I know just reading your description of the book grossed me out and I'm almost 40! Blech. I hate anatomical words.

Hyzymom said...

Here's my question... Does Kellen know the details? Since he and Zack are the same age, I'm just curious. Zack has expressed no interest or curiosity at all. But, I feel like it's coming any time, I don't know if I'm in total denial and should be proactively addressing the issue. Hell I'm pretty sure he still believes in Santa, but I"m afraid to ask and if I'm afraid to ask about Santa imagine how I feel asking about 'that'. Actually now that I think about it I totally believe in equal parenting (blah, blah, blah) I think it's John's turn. I did Brenna, he gets Zack! There situation handled!:o)

P.S. I think your ice is heading our way. We're suppose to get a "wintry" mix which in N.Va means they don't have a fricking clue what's coming so they just cover their bases!

scarlett said...

Umm...I'm sorry. I cannot focus on the real point of the blog because I got thrown off track in the "Sewing room." Sewing room??? Do these still exist? Maybe that's why after three kids I still don't know everything...I think the sewing room may hold some of the key answers.
A recommended method of teaching: peers from school...then Disney...followed by MTV. :)

Just kidding of course!

Jenny Braden, Albuquerque, NM said...

Thanks for the book review. That sounds like one we may need to avoid. I am pregnant and we have been wondering if Ryan was going to start asking questions about how the baby got there, etc. We haven't decided what we would tell him so of course your book was of great interest to me. As of now he hasn't asked any questions(other than will it be born sick like Jacob), which is ok with us. But we still have about 5-6 months where they may crop up. I've already told Brian that I'm leaving that conversation up to him, man to man.

By the way, congrats on your move, your house, and your pantry. Our commissary here in New Mexico is open seven days a week. It's the first place we've ever lived where that has been the case, but I lived here a year before I realized that. I just assumed that it was closed on Monday so never made the trip to the base on Monday to go. Of course, you know what they say about "assuming".

Anonymous said...

Geez, I'm glad I'm past all that stuff with my kids. They never really wanted to know any details, so I guess they've got it all figured out. My daughter is engaged, so hopefully she knows what she's getting into. Haha.

Gayle in AL

The Running Girl said...

Ahhh, the joys of kids growing up. At Madison's 12th birthday party, they were watching the movie Transformers. I had not seen it yet, but my husband took my 9 year old son to see it so I figure it was ok for 12 year old girls. Well, they came asking for a dictionary. Hmmmm. They said there was a word in the movie they didn't know the meaning of. Then they showed me the clip. The word they were looking up was "masturbation". Uggghhhh. These are such fun things to explain to your kids.
Briana

Candy said...

Chicken ;)

Trisha in Leesburg, VA said...

OH MY GOSH! Sorry to "yell" but I am just shocked that a book for ages 6-8 as part of a Christian series would be so... explicit. wow! I am scared at what I may run into when Raegan (5months yesterday!) gets to be that old!

Pam Earley said...

Kristie, I feel your pain sister. I had a hysterectomy when my oldest was in 5th grade and my youngest was in 1st grade. I used that book to help my FIFTH grader understand what was going on and such. I know the age on it says 6-8, but there was no way on earth I was going to read that to my then 6/7 year old - it freaked me out reading it to my then 11 year old.

BTW - just wait until you get to the next one in the series. I figure I better get to that one soon seeing as how my oldest is now 14. First, though, I have to get around to reading the 6-8 year old one to my 10 year old.

lizinsumner said...

Is this the "special tickle feeling" book?? Because if it is, I've seen it, and it's been around for quite some time, and my reaction was much like yours!! When I got to the part about the parents getting a "special feeling, kind of like a tickle", that makes them want to do "special things" together.....well, I lost it - and, the book. Promptly! My son is almost 14. We still haven't had "the" talk. Thank God for the Disney channel!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Last year while in 5th grade my oldest son watched a movie at school that discussed "the changes that was going to take place" in your body soon. Boys watched a boy movie, girls watch a girl movie. After that I had my husband discuss the facts of life with Jacob. He said "thats gross" and we didn't hear anything else about it...until 3 months later. Super Bowl Sunday I was sitting in the parking lot of the local grocery store with only my 2 oldest sons (age 10 and 8) at the time...when the 8 yr old says "Mom, did you know that girls have FUR-ginas?"
My 10 yr old starts saying "you don't want to know about s-e-x, its gross." I said, "Keep thinking that!!"
You can only imagine the discussion that followed (and I would LOVE to tell you all the questions they asked...I was so embarrassed but answered honestly) and from now on...my husband sits in the vehicle and I run into the store!
Anyway, I decided then to answer all their questions while they were asking instead of saying my normal response "we will talk about that later when the younger siblings aren't here." Of course that day the younger ones weren't with us!!

Kristina
Brookville OHIO

Grandma J said...

If cleaning hair that doesn’t belong to you out of the shower drain doesn't say "LOVE" I don't know what does! Unless it's unclogging a toilet that the neighbor kid plugged up.

Sue said...

That's one book I'm glad that my girls have not found at our library! As it is, I'm a little upset that my 8-year-old had to read the book, "Choose Not to Use" which was all about drugs and peer pressure. This is 3rd grade! My girls did ask me once how babies got in their moms' tummies; they asked when we were driving home from a friend's house, in a blinding snowstorm. I told them we'd talk "later" because I had to concentrate on driving. So far, they haven't asked again (whew!).

Anonymous said...

Yikes!! My oldest will turn 6 in February. He knows all about babies, according to him they grow in the mommies tummy and they get there by "magic". I don't know where he got the magic part of the story but it will work until he is somewhat older.

Dawn said...

When I was pregnant with my youngest, my oldest asked how the baby got into my tummy...I told her God gave a seed to daddy, who gave it to me. It was now growing a baby. She accepted this and has never addressed it again.

Renee' said...

Sperm, scrotum, vagina, NO WAY Kody is ready for those words. OMG. He is 7 and he would be MORTIFIED if I suggested how all that works. He is still grossed out by people kissing on TV.

We're doomed.

Tiffany said...

OMG- i can't believe that would go into that much detail for a 6 year old. What happen to give them a little information and then change the subject?!?!?!

Lauren said...

Your post reminded me of a few books I've read by Patricia Scanlan, an Irish author... specifically the scene where a 5-year-old girl is asking her mom "Can we see Daddy put the seed in your belly button with his willy?"

I know my parents never sat me down and explained it all to me... I don't know at what age I figured any of it out, but it was definitely sometime after elementary school! I might have been a slow child though; I remember being in middle school and hearing that they'd found a condom on one of the buses, and I spent the rest of the day thinking "The bus was condemned? But why?"

Anonymous said...

but dolphins have penises and vaginas