Thursday, December 04, 2008

Stupid .... uh .... me.

You know how you sometimes get a nuturing urge, and want to do kind things for your children? (yeah, doesn't happen much around here, either ... but every now and then ....) so while they're at school you break open one of those break-apart cookie packages and whip up a batch of chocolate chip cookies?

And because your feeling of love and warmth extends to your husband, as you're walking out the door to pick the kids up from school, you let him know that there are warm chocolate chip cookies cooling on the counter, and he should help himself.

And then you return from the school, and glance over at the cookies, only to realize Holy Cow! Your husband ate a ton of cookies ... so many cookies, you hardly have enough for the damn kids! So you count, and realize there are only seven cookies left. Seven out of twenty-four.

Stupid husband.

So you walk into the living room, scowl on your face, and ask your husband the oh-so-innocent question .... "why the hell did you eat all the cookies???"

When he replies, with a surprised look on his face, "I didn't eat any cookies" .... it will take you just a second for the truth to sink in.

Stupid dog.

Ate SEVENTEEN COOKIES off the kitchen counter! And yes, even though she's barely six months old, she is big enough to stand on her hind legs and eat anything you have stashed up there. Good thing to keep in mind for the future.

And maybe, just maybe, there is a little part of you that thinks she is still a cute dog, cookie-snatching tendencies and all ... I mean, look at that widdle face, she's such a cutie widdle doggie with her cute widdle puppy {chocolate chip} breath ....

Until she hops on your bed and yakks all over your bedspread.

Stupid dog.

Excuse me, I have three loads of bedding to take care of.

26 comments:

Kelly said...

Oh wow....that's too bad, but kind of funny! However I really really REALLY hope that the chocolate doesn't harm her! It always scares me when dogs eat chocolate...especially a lot of it! You really need to watch her closely..maybe even call your vet to see if you should do anything. I'm glad she threw up at least (although I know you aren't pleased). Good luck!!

Anonymous said...

Yuck!!!! We used to have a dog who always jumped on to our bed when he had to barf. Hey, why hurl on that easy to clean up hardwood floor next to the bed? It's only funny when you are the one that doesn't have to clean up the mess.....

Ryley said...

hahaha.. that's too funny!!!!
she's your kid too.. and you said you made them for the kids! She just thought you were being extra nice for her... love it!

It will take you awhile to get used to pushing things as far back on the counter as you can.. it may even take until she takes a whole roast of the counter or something!

gotta love puppies...

p.s. we havent seen her sweet little cookie stealin' face lately....

URBAN BLONDE said...

Yikes! Chocolate is like poison for dogs!

I'm glad for her sake she threw it up. I'm sorry for your sake that you had to clean it up! Evil Poodle Puppy threw up her breakfast on a silk living room pillow last week. For some reason the amount she threw up was 3 times the amount she ate.

Blondie
PS At the beginning of the story I thought for sure it had been Blaine. In my house the culprit would definitely be my husband. ;)

Cindy in Yukon said...

Too funny! It reminds me of my friend's dog, a Bull Mastiff named Mollie. She ate an entire family sized bag of Hershey's Kisses one Christmas. The next day there were green, red, and silver sparkly poops all over the back yard! They did call the vet who said not to worry. Even in a whole bag of milk chocolate candy there isn't enough "chocolate" to hurt a dog. Milk chocolate has a very low percentage of chocolate compared to bittersweet or dark chocolate. It sucks about the extra laundry though :(

Marci said...

See always blaming Blaine huh?? LOL...that stupid dog causes alot of trouble...

Love, Marci

Melissa said...

Too funny - thanks for the laugh!

(Sorry that you had to clean up the mess and that then you didn't even have cookies to eat)

Anonymous said...

My yellow lab is not quite 5 months and would have done the exact same thing. She ate a pretzel off the counter today and two cookies while I was baking.
:0)

Kristin in NC

Mama Bear said...

Sounds like it's time to get the mousetraps out and leave them on the counter. That's always stopped our puppies!

And don't worry about that small amount of chocolate. If it was a bar of baking chocolate, you'd need to call the vet, but not for chocolate chips.

Anonymous said...

We have a dog that's the same, we can't leave anything out. Usually he won't bother with food in boxes(unless it's meat!) but tonight I came home to an angel food cake mix, a box of ritz and a box of swiss cheese crackers...GONE...and I had just bought them not 2 hours ago! Damn dog!!!!

Renee said...

Better than Tylenol.... Couldn't resist.

Stefunkc said...

So does that mean you're not bringing any cookies to the yearbook meeting in the morning? Dang dog.

Kelly said...

You have been tagged on my blog. I'm hoping you'd like to play along??

Anonymous said...

My sister-in-law's doberman has stolen chicken right out of the skillet.

It was still cooking on the stove.

Anonymous said...

Our beagle used to love to "bake". She could get the tupperware of brown sugar out of the cabinet, get it into the living room and open it, leaving no teeth marks on the lid, then eat the brown sugar. One time she ate half a 9 x 13 pan of fudge. There was lots of yakking that night, ALL night long. She was mad because we shortened her rope and she couldn't get to the chocolate yak piles to eat them again! Stupid dog.
Sheila MN

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Totally your fault. You OBVIOUSLY put them on the edge of the counter cuz you WANTED the whiddle pup to eat them.

Hallie :)

ACMSTheaterArts said...

I feel ya! My cat decided to use the one winter coat that I can still fit into as a litter box yesterday. I was none to happy about having to put the coat in the wash before I left my house and not having a coat that would close around my middle for recess duty at school.

The Running Girl said...

I'm glad I read this. We are considering getting a new dog soon. Our past dogs have been outside dogs and the new one(s) will be indoor/outdoor, so you've given me something to think about!

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Our 7 month old, 60 pound puppy ate a bowl of fruit salad off of my butcher block yesterday - and she left the bowl up there, just helped herself to chunky of watermelon, apples, berries, etc. What dog does this? She also ate a $5 bill out of my purse, and that is NOT cute.

Jacquie

Anonymous said...

Word of warning: Our old golden was a counter jumper too. Could clean ANYTHING off the counter unless it was pushed to the absolute back. We had a birthday cake in a cardboard box sitting on the covered griddle part of the stove. While we were out he went for the cake and his paw turned the griddle dial on! By the time we got home the house was full of smoke and the box and kitchen wallpaper were burned. The cabinets were close to going up! We installed a master switch inside a cupboard that had to be turned on for the dials to even work! So beware with your cutie! And oh how we love them no matter what!
Marci

karen said...

LOL stupid dog is right. Ours would do the same thing, wait she goes more for the anything she can get her mouth on. Can not tell you how many toys the kids have lost, and socks, and darn it she got a hold of my new comforter.

Anonymous said...

Our Golden loves cookies! I cannot tell you how many batches he has eaten! Now just who is dumb? Obviously not the dog!

My DH was driving from Colorado to Oregon in December one year and had his dog in the back of his car.
The dog ate the whole bag and puked across the Continental Divide when it was the middle of the night and zero degrees, with no place to pull over to clean up!

Lynette

beanieb said...

Oh to share in the joys of doggie vomit with someone else! Last week just as I was about to get the tree out, mine had to yak in 2 places on the living room carpet- one of them a mere centimeters from the hardwood. Gotta love them! She also would have snatched that many cookies. She too, is tall enough to reach the counters (a doberman)and snatch anything she can find- especially loves those napkins we leave on our plates after dinner! Heck, the other day I ran to WalMart and left my make-up bag on the bathroom counter and my powder sponge was gone when I came home. Not the first one of those she's eaten either!

beanieb said...

Thanks...between your talk of chocolate chip cookies and the Food channel and their Christmas cookie episode tonight we had to make a run to Kroger at 9:30 tonight for Pillsbury break-apart chocolate chunk/chip cookies. We just had them warm out of the oven. My husband just went to the basement to his computer and said "watch Dakota doesn't get the cookies" so of course I run out to the kitchen at the first noise (she was going downstairs!) and decide to put them away as he runs to the stairs to make sure she wasn't getting them while I was getting out a container! Darn dogs!!!

Ann said...

I will NEVER forget our darling Golden Retriever, Tucker, eating 22 chocolate cupcakes, wrappers and all, off our kitchen counter during the 15 minutes I was upstairs putting the kids to bed. And this happened not 10' behind my TV watching husband! There wasn't a TRACE of the missing cupcakes - not a crumb - I thought I had lost my mind for a bit! (This is the same dog who subsequently ate a neighbor's pet hamster but that's a whole 'nother story!

Anonymous said...

yep - my dog did that too at Thanksgiving, but he ate pumpkin roll... then barfed all over the floor!!

Kristina
Ohio