I know I caught some flack earlier this month when I posted about cashiers and how much I dislike hearing negative stuff about their personal lives, or how much they hate their job, or how THANK GOODNESS they’ve only got another hour to work, like I’m totally inconveniencing them by showing up, or whatever. But I swear, yesterday’s conversation took the cake:
Cashier: Hi, how are you today?
Me: I’m good, thanks, how are you?
Cashier: Not great, really, I’ve had better days.
Me: Oh. Ummmm, well, at least today is Friday, hopefully that helps. (And I swear to you at this point I was remembering the people who commented that I needed to work harder to be pleasant, so I promise I was really trying to be friendly and cheerful and Happy McSunshine.)
Cashier: It doesn’t matter what day of the week it is, that won’t help. I was engaged yesterday; today I’m not.
Me, slightly baffled: Oh. I’m sorry.
Cashier: Yeah, my boyfriend just came over last night, dropped off his key, TOOK my ring, and I haven’t heard from him since.
Me, even more baffled about why she would be sharing this with me: I’m, ummmm, really sorry.
Cashier: Not a word … nothing! Didn’t even tell me why he did it! What is this, like the second grade, where you can just break up without explaining????!!
Me: I’m ….. sorry?
Cashier: Whatever! Like I care anyway????!!
Me: crickets chirping
Cashier: You know, I’m not the kind of person who gets bummed out by stuff like this.
Me: total silence, slightly frightened look on my face.
Cashier: It’s not that big a deal. Whatever.
Me: Good heavens, can I have my change before you flip out and shoot up the joint????
OK, so I didn’t really say that last part. But I swear, every other part of the conversation happened verbatim.
You think I could make this stuff up if I tried?!?!?