Sunday, February 17, 2008

Visiting Friends

The most disturbing things I've seen this weekend, in no particular order:

1. Disposable antimicrobial walking pads on the floor through security at the airport, not because those are disturbing, no, just the opposite, but because when I asked the metal-detector-lady how often they actually changed them, she rolled her eyes and said she had no idea. Scale: moderately disturbing. Feet germs = gag.

2. A lady at the airport with a real fox stole, or mink, or chipmunk, or something, with two dead furry animals wrapped around her neck, each one chomping down on the other one's tail. Scale: mildly disturbing. While I'm no huge PETA advocate, I didn't need to see the freeze-dried feet. The chipmunks, OR my fellow passengers.

3. A lady brushing her teeth in the airport bathroom. Scale: Greatly disturbing. Just like the chipmunk feet, I also don't need to watch a complete stranger drool into a sink, ok?

4. The line of traffic waiting to enter the Lincoln Tunnel. Scale: Moderately disturbing to realize people drive in that kind of nightmare on a daily basis. Would have been "Greatly" disturbing, but thankfully, I did not need to use the restroom.

5. The movie "Babel". Scale: WTF? Have any of you actually *seen* it? And if so, can you explain it to me? Because I watched the entire thing, and am still not sure any of it made sense. Why didn't he just put her back on the damn bus? Why were the other tourists such wankers? Why did they just start shooting at those mountain boys? Why did I have to see the school girl's nekkidness so many times? Why did Satiago run the border? Why were the border police such assholes? And most of all, why, why, why, was the conversation that Amelia had on the phone with the dad the first time not the same conversation she had on the phone with the dad the second time, and for heaven's sakes, did she or didn't she take the kids to the wedding in Mexico and then wind up in the desert and were they ok or was she deported or was it all a dream??? Aaaagggghhhh! (This is why I will never be a movie critic --- I am obviously too dense and need a very clear-cut happily ever after, preferably wrapped up with a shiny bow.)

6. Scariest of all: That I made it through security at the airport with a screwdriver in my purse (unknowingly, I might add .... damn rental property hell, oh will I ever escape you?) and NO ONE CAUGHT IT. I flew not one, but two major airlines with that thing and only found it when I was digging in my purse for change. Scale: Very, very disturbing, especially if you are in charge of transit security.


Anonymous said...

I have to agree with everything you wrote. I have to comment on Babel, that was the worst movie I have ever seen. I watched it sober and then drunk to see if it would make a difference, it didn't it was just a stupid movie, Brad or no Brad, bad!!!

Donna said...

Babel was definitely bizarre. To the nth degree. Airport security: scary. Toothbrushing in a public sink: I much prefer that to sitting on a plane next to (or directly in front of) someone with a) morning breath, b) garlic breath or c) salsa breath. That lady's two minutes of teeth brushing could have saved somebody hours of halitosis-induced agony. Or maybe her special someone was meeting her at the airport after a long absence and she felt he deserved that minty fresh feeling instead of fuzzy incisors....

And I can't even think about the foot thing without making that odd retching noise that cats make when they have a hairball.

Hope you guys survived the onslaught of rain, ice and snow. We have two or three inches of sloppy wet snow up here (NE KS) that had better melt A.S.A.P. because I am about to S.N.A.P. from the winter weather!

jadine said...

1. Eeeeew!

2. Sounds straight out of a Flintstones episode.

3. I've done this.

4. I agree.

5. No idea since I haven't seen it, but now I feel strangely compelled to see it. Sigh. So get it all figured out so you can explain it to me, 'kay?

6. Yikes! And to think, you missed out on a strip-search by them not finding it. Bummer.

Rachel C said...

Babel is the worst movie ever. I saw it in the theater and walked out. Its the ONLY time I've ever done that, and I've seen some bad movies.

The screwdriver thing is terrifying, not that YOU managed it, but that its possible for someone who wants to shank me to get a screwdriver on the plane.

Trish in Leesburg, VA said...

Airport Security-
in 2005 we flew to Florida in a group of 4 adults and 3 children. The child my husband and I had with us is a family friend who was turning 11. When it came time to pack to go back home, she had a pair of scissors she was about to place in her carry-on bag. Apparently she had them in there on the flight down, but no one noticed!

Natalie said...

Oh man, I definitely did not need to hear about that screwdriver mishap since I'm already convinced that everyone on every single plane I ride on is a terrorist. Here at the local airport someone just got caught trying to take a LOADED GUN through security. He forgot to pack it in his checked luggage where he might have only shot someone who dropped his bag. Why do you need a gun on vacation??? Someone, please tell me!

Natalie said...

And I forgot to say that I have brushed my teeth at the airport before overnight flights to England. I can't stand "fuzzy incisors," as Donna said! I might even have flossed, but I can't be sure.

Julie in Atlanta said...

Kristie, Thanks for your candidness/confusion about the movie. Check out the Wikipedia entry, I think it provides some insight

Katie said...

Didn't see Babel, but I was forewarned that it was weird.

As for the screwdriver, that's like the woman who flew a flight from LAX to Houston with me and the entire time we were on the plane she had a sharp tipped nail file, not just in her person, but out and being used the entire 4 hours. So I can't carry on a bottle of water, but a shank knife is okay?


M, Ms. R, Mom, Auntie M, Marey said...

My daughter had 2 connecting flights, in which one she was taken aside for the "thorough" random search...and when she arrived at her final destination she found that she had her DISECTION kit for biology in her carry on backpack!! Complete with scalple, pith and assorted instruments which could do serious damage!! So much for security! Good thing she had to toss her water before she boarded...who knows what she would have done with that!

Haven't seen I surely won't!

Anonymous said...

ok all of these comments about the airport "security" or lack of, really scare the shit out of me and that is only one reason that I dont fly!

Megan E.

cakeburnette said...

Okay, to put all of you more at ease, check out TSA's lists of what can be carried on and what can be checked and what is completely disallowed on airline flights at
Screwdrivers under 7" are permitted carry-on items, as well as scissors under 4". You are also allowed knitting needles and crochet hooks, which is good, since I tend to take those things with me when I fly to CO to see the in-laws.