Letter #9

Dear Future Physician,

I married you. I thought long and hard about a life married to a
physician. Remember how hard I tried to talk you out of following your
dream to become a doctor? It's because I was greedy and wanted your
time. I love being with you. I love your strong arms around me. I
love how you pull me into you at night. I adore you.

Sometimes I feel like a single mother with financial support. I go to
our children's programs, alone. We eat meals alone. We put so very
many things on hold because of your schedule. Although you try, you
really try to make it to every recital and awards assembly.

Your days are long and difficult. A 12 hour day is routine for you.
Calls at night. Needing to snap out of a sound sleep and instantly be
able to dispense critical advice is required of you. And when you have
to go in -- in the middle of the night, it breaks my heart that you
still will be required to put in a full day after a night of little
sleep.

I wonder what this profession is costing you. What did it cost our
family?

And yet, I wouldn't have it any other way. You have protected us and
nurtured us the best way you know how. Your kindness and generosity
towards your patients is the same kindness and generosity you give your
family. It is you. I wish there were more hours in the day for us.
But I know you are doing so very many things right when we can't walk
down the aisle of the grocery store without people reaching out to
touch you. You can't walk through a parking lot without someone
stopping to tell you something. Being a doctor is who you are.

I smile when you bring samples of medicines to people's homes when they
can't afford them. I find it amazing when people invite you to their
homes to show you something important to them. I enjoy your stories --
we didn't know what dry wheat farming was until you had a patient that
was a farmer. I sincerely enjoy the tomatoes, zucchini and berries
your patients bring you from their gardens. I am grateful for your
skills when I am in the hospital, and your knowledge saved me from that
procedure. I know you are an extraordinary doctor. I know you have a
brilliant mind. I know you are kind and gentle when delivering the
scariest news, because your patients tell me of their gratitude and
your kindness.

But I miss you. I'm still greedy and I still wish I had more of your
time.

Cindy
Wife of a Doctor specializing in Internal Medicine