Sunday, February 03, 2008

Akwardness Poll

I have a few questions I’d like to ask all of you, just for curiosity sake, NOT because anything like this actually happened to me and my daughter this weekend:

1. If your child was new to a school, and was invited to a classmate’s birthday party, but said she wasn’t sure if she wanted to go because she didn’t know the classmate very well, would you:

a. Tell her the best way to make a friend is to be a friend and encourage her to attend

b. Remind her that even if she doesn’t know the birthday girl well, that all her classmates will be there and it will be fun regardless, or

c. Other.

2 If you and your child show up to the birthday party and you realize that your child is THE ONLY CHILD out of the entire class who showed up, would you:

a. Smile and act cheerful as if this is normal

b. Pretend like there’s nothing awkward about being the only guest to show up

c. Other

3. If you were the birthday girl’s mother, and only one other parent brought a child to your daughter's party, would you:

a. Play with your new cell phone, texting the entire time, including during the singing of “Happy Birthday” to your own daughter

b. At least attempt to carry on a five-minute conversation with the other parent, or

c. Other

And as if that situation wasn’t awkward enough, imagine the following conversation between me and the birthday girl, who I had never met before:

Birthday Girl: "Do you have any zits?"

Me, highly offended: "I’m sorry, what???"

BG: "Do you have any cents?"

Me: "Oh, CENTS! You want to know if I have any cents?"

BG: "Yes. I need some money so I can go play a video game."


Leeann said...

What a horrible situation!
I am sorry you and Brayden found yourselves in it but gosh, my heart just breaks for that little girl. Brayden was the only child who showed up AT ALL?

Kristie said...

Leeann, yes! But it wasn't Brayden, it was Kendrie. And it was AWKWARD ... with a capital "kward".

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness... I can't even imagine. What was Kendrie's take on the whole situation?

Grandma J said...

My answer to all three would be:

c. other

Natalie said...

Oooooo, so awkward I can't even make a choice. I'm too busy squirming in my seat.

Shannon said...

Fun times...

Nothing like trying to make new friends. Bet that really helped the "missing my old friends" situation!

Loralee Choate said...

That is wretched for everybody.

I feel so bad for the little kid who only had one person show up and a mother who obviously gives a rats.

Talk about one of the most wretched social gatherings of all time.

Kelly said...

Only one word came to mind when reading this story. BIZARRE!!

Monica (H)opeful said...

I am going to have to go with C. Other.

And I think AWKWARD, pretty much sums it up. How sad though.

Jan.something said... ya' think the social skills of Mom and daughter had anything to do with the scant attendance? Yikes! really do take a quick peek at my blog. I accidentally got one of the best photos of my grandson today!

Bec said...

Imagine what would have happened if YOU hadn't turned up!!

You need to have a word with the other parents to find out why they didn't go - don't you have to RSVP so surely she would have known that there wasn't going to be a big turn out and canceled it.

AT least you cleared you cleared up the zits question.

Anonymous said...

The weirdest shit happens to you. !) A and B, 2} B, 3} B I feel sorry for the little girl whose birthday it was...poor thing.

Anonymous said...

I had a birthday party for my daughter a few years back and only one other little girl showed up (about 20 min late!). Luckily, she was young enough not to really care, but I felt terrible for her. Now, I just let her pick a couple friends and I'll take them somewhere fun for a few hours, like a movie or bowling or something. I won't put her through that again (or myself).

amber - Ohio

Brandi said...

my husband had a birthday party when he was young that NO ONE showed up to. to this day it bothers him. i'm glad you guys were the ones who did show up-as awkward as it turned out. that poor little girl.

Jeanette in GA said...

Did Kendrie seem to mind, or did she have a good time? I think I would have stood by the other mom the entire time and chatted her up and down- you know, just to be a butt.

Anonymous said...


I would guess that BG's mother went to her "Happy Place", which must include text messaging.

I'll bet you handled the awKward event far better than you'll ever know.

When I was in fourth grade, my mom let me invite every other fourth grader to our house for a pinball game party. Not a one ever came. I was crushed until my mom turned it into a huge party for us kids to enjoy all by ourselves.

Maybe I am still crushed, it turns out, because I remember the day pretty clearly!

Oh, well. I will look at it as character-building!


Anonymous said...

I wonder if the mom was trying to hide behind her cell phone b/c she was embaressed for her kid. That doesn't excuse her rudeness of course.

I feel sorry for that little girl. I am sure that was the worst birthday ever for her or at least I hope it was. She will likely go home and wonder why no one likes her. That is sad.

Rita B

lizinsumner said...

Gosh, talk about awkward!!! No, this has never happened to me. But given the poor child's role model (the mother) and the behavior you described, perhaps it's to be expected that no one else showed up. Someone needs to give this mother a wake-up call, don't you think???!! My heart goes out to this little girl - she doesn't stand a chance!

Pam Earley said...

What to say???

I think that I would have encouraged her to go, just as you did. I probably would have done the same thing that jenette suggested and forcibly engage the mom in conversation.

Then, because I am quite childish myself, I probably then would have taken myself into the other room and played with the kiddos.

But, in the end, yes - AWKWARD.

Mom on the Run said...

You did the right thing. I wonder if the Mom didn't have an RSVPs due date on the invitations? Or, maybe the Mom only invited 3 or 4 kids and was O.K. with only one kid showing up?

That's never happened to us, but one of my daughters was invited to a party that began at 7 p.m. when she was only 4 years old. It was too late for her---she fell asleep on the way to and from the party. I stayed the whole time. I realized that the birthday girl was having a sleepover after the party for only a few of the kids that were invited. My daughter was clueless, but I thought it was inconsiderate of the mother to exclude some of the kids from the sleepover.

Jen said...

Believe it or not, this actually happened to my son, when he had his 5th birthday party.

1. A & B - and I'd RSVP and go.

2 C - probably end up commiserating with the other parent about how my child was the only one who showed up and how parents are so inconsiderate these days to not RSVP.

3. C - BTDT, and the other mother and I talked during the entire "party", which was at my house in our back yard. We actually had a very pleasant conversation and got to know each other much better.

Zits/Cents Question - She probably asked you because her mom wouldn't step away from the cell phone long enough to acknowledge her presence. Wish I could put an eye-roll smiley here.

It's sad that parents don't see the need to take two minutes out of their busy lives to RSVP an invitation any more. One other little boy showed up to Noah's 5th birthday party. He had just finished his first year of school here. He had been to two parties in the weeks prior to his, and I sent invitations to those kids plus a couple more. NO one responded except for this one boy's mother. Thankfully, he was able to come. I can't imagine if no one showed up at all... he'd have been devistated!

The two boys had a great time playing on the slip-n-slide and we had a great time chatting it up and eating chocolate cake.

Renee' said...

That's sad for you, Kendrie, and the birthday girl. Glad you went. I hope her mom's new cell phone breaks.

Anonymous said...

That just sucks.
Just be thankful that you are not one of those parents who does the "drop and run" with your kids. My son's birhtday was a pool party at a hotel last month and one parent left her daughter at the desk with a note saying to call her a cab when she was done! And she has never even met us!! I too encourage my kids to accept most invitations, its a great way to broaden their friend base... but I am a religious RSVP'er. Hopefully Kendrie still had a good time. (and maybe appreciates her Mom even more)
Bridget from Canada

Amy said...

Only you Kristie!!

Abbie said...

I think it's nice that you guys went, seriously imagine if NO one showed up, what would have that mother said to the little girl!! Oh poor thing. Sad situation. But I still think that it's good you all went! I can't even imagine!

Anonymous said...

We automatically ASSUMED you were talking about Brayden, not Kendrie. Gosh, how terrible for only one 7-year-old to come. I think I would have said something like, "oh, we can only stay for a second or something". I am not sure if I would have encouraged my daughter to go or not, but I probably would have. Next time she could ask around to see if anyone else from her class is going. That's just a very bad situation to be in.
Wendy in Winder, GA

Anonymous said...

I'm so jaded. I'm assuming drugs or mental illness are part of the story. Poor kid! And poor Kendrie!

Anonymous said...

My sons birthday is 4 days after Christmas. We had his birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. He wanted to invite 14 out of the 20 kids in his class. If the entire class is invited, invitations can be handed out at school, if not, I would have to look up each kids name on the class list, find their addres, and mail an invitation. I told him we were inviting the whole class. Much faster to hand them out at school, saves postage, and saves a few getting their feelings hurts.

Not counting him, we invited 19 kids. I had 9 RSVP, 6 were coming, 3 were not. One actually called two hours before the party to see if he could still come. One who RSVPed was very upset they had other plans and others who RSVPed were ecstatic. I think a few who are probably rarely invited to things were invited and it did wonders for them.

I allowed all parents to leave their kids so long as they left me a phone number to reach them at in case of an emergency. I had myself, my husband, and 5 grandparents there. We provided pizza, drinks, cake, ice cream, and tokens to all of the kids. It went much better than I could have ever dreamed, it really didn't cost as much as I head feared, and the grandparents were amazed at the kids' manners.

Three weeks later three out of those six kids had birthday parties. One invite the whole class, one was selective, and the third I don't know as my son wasn't invited. Needless to say, he was hurt.

Two weeks later I did it all over again for my daughter's birthday and invited the entire daycare (she's not school age) and not a single parent RSVPed.

Shannon in Iowa

Anonymous said...

I was already answering the first question in my head as I read and didn't think the party had actually taken place.

I was going to say in response to Question 1, that you should trust your child's intuition and that perhaps they have "read" something into this child's behaviour at school and really don't want to be around her. Reading the rest of the post I think that may be right however I do feel sorry for that little girl, so sad....

Maybe the mother was anxiously texting the other parents to come?

The whole episode makes me {{{Shudder}}} Glad you two made it through! :)

PS I wish I could remember my #$%@ing Blogger password! Arrrggghhh!

Melissa in CA said...

Wow! How sad for the little girl. My answer to 1 would be A and/or B ~ hopefully at least Kendrie & the girl hit it off. Oh, how sad! 2 - A & B, sad! I wonder if the little girl is mean to others or if the parents of the classmates know something you don't (like the mother is a b*tch who doesn't socialize with anyone or even pay attention to her child!). And of course, the answer to 3 would have to be B. How can she be so rude as to not even communicate with you and THANK YOU for being the only mom to bring their daughter to her daughter's party. Wow, I think I'm a little angry. I am glad that you brought Kendrie though. At least she showed up.

Anonymous said...

Damnnnn - I choose C also which would have been going back home and drinking several Coors Lites :)


Anonymous said...

At least you didn't have to worry about someone else bringing the same gift as you! Let me guess....BG said, "Oh, I already have this."

Cindy in Yukon said...

That reminds me of a party Justin was invited to in Kindergarten. However, it was completely opposite. We showed up at the skating rink and when we got to the window the woman who owns the rink was taking tickets. She had to inform us that the birthday boy's Mom invited too many kids. It being a holiday weekend she didn't think they would all show, so she invited more than she was willing to pay for!! She didn't even have the nerve to tell the parents herself!! I let Justin keep the toy we had bought as a birthday gift and we left. He still remembers that!! It's been over 11 years and it still pisses me off!!

Anonymous said...

I would have chosen A. encourage her to go to be a friend. For the precise reason you don't know who will show up and someone goes to the trouble of having a party and inviting you (me), you (we) should at least go. I am always afraid of the no guests thing happening at my kids parties, but cross my fingers, it hasn't. Some people just don't have many friends to begin with. And I figure it doesn't hurt to go to their birthday party. What's 2 hours our of my life, if it makes a birthday party?? So it was good that you went!!!
Claire in TX

cakeburnette said...

wow...rotten situatio all around!

I've never had this happen to us for a birthday, but the kids did have a Christmas party the first year we lived in VA and only one friend per each child showed up. It was a small guest list because it was at the house, but almost apparently all of their friends parents forgot after saying their kids would be there. There was one set of kids who's mom went into early labor, but the other 3-4 families had no excuse!

On the other side, we once invited 19 kids to Austin's birthday party at DJ's Galaxy Quest (hmmmm, bet you don't miss THAT place, do you?) thinking some of them would not show up...WRONG! It wasn't the money thing, it was the SHEER AMOUNT OF 3&4 year-old frenzy stuck in one room eating sugar that was so awful! But we didn't turn anyone away like that person above me. :|

Tracey in Calgary said...

That. Poor. Child.

Anonymous said...

You have GOT to be kidding me. You mean that if you hadn't taken her that this little girl wouldn't have had ANYONE show up? Ouch. Sounds like my son's 7th bday party. He had 1 kid show up, but it was his bbf so he didn't care. lol!