Yesterday, I spent two and a half hours in Brayden’s classroom, helping a bunch of nine year olds decorate Christmas grab-bags, construct gingerbread houses, and work on Fun! Reindeer! Math! Worksheets!
Today, I spent an hour in Kellen’s classroom helping his teacher sort papers, then spent two more hours in Brayden’s room helping the children paint Christmas tree ornaments and decorate the gingerbread houses, made from graham crackers and mini-milk cartons with Golden Grahams cereal stuck on for the roof --- really, have you ever heard of such a clever idea for a roof? This evening, I spent two hours shopping for, and organizing, the graham crackers, icing, and candy items for yet another gingerbread house activity, good grief, if I never see another gingerbread house it will be too soon.
Tomorrow, I will spend two hours in Kellen’s class, helping a bunch of eight-year olds construct and decorate their own houses. Then, I will go to Kendrie’s class for an hour and a half and help a bunch of six and seven-year olds (Dear Lord, help me, they’re getting younger and more unruly as the day goes on) decorate holiday door knob hangers and make marshmallow snowmen. Then I will buy pizza and juice for her party, which I will stay at for twenty minutes. Then I will return to Kellen’s classroom, to attend twenty minutes of his party, then I will go down the hall to Brayden’s classroom, where I have been instructed to bring juice and a salty snack, where I will spend the final twenty minutes of her party, before most likely getting stuck cleaning all that shit up after all the kids hop on their buses to go home -- bumpy, lurching buses where you just know those damn gingerbread houses are going to get beat all to hell and most likely collapse like a house of cards.
Then, at 3:15 pm tomorrow, our Winter Break will officially begin.
If you need me tomorrow night, odds are I’ll be in my basement, curled up on the floor in the dark, clutching a very large bottle of red wine to my chest.
Well, crap. We don’t have a basement.