Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Why I Don't Home-School

Yesterday, I spent two and a half hours in Brayden’s classroom, helping a bunch of nine year olds decorate Christmas grab-bags, construct gingerbread houses, and work on Fun! Reindeer! Math! Worksheets!

Today, I spent an hour in Kellen’s classroom helping his teacher sort papers, then spent two more hours in Brayden’s room helping the children paint Christmas tree ornaments and decorate the gingerbread houses, made from graham crackers and mini-milk cartons with Golden Grahams cereal stuck on for the roof --- really, have you ever heard of such a clever idea for a roof? This evening, I spent two hours shopping for, and organizing, the graham crackers, icing, and candy items for yet another gingerbread house activity, good grief, if I never see another gingerbread house it will be too soon.

Tomorrow, I will spend two hours in Kellen’s class, helping a bunch of eight-year olds construct and decorate their own houses. Then, I will go to Kendrie’s class for an hour and a half and help a bunch of six and seven-year olds (Dear Lord, help me, they’re getting younger and more unruly as the day goes on) decorate holiday door knob hangers and make marshmallow snowmen. Then I will buy pizza and juice for her party, which I will stay at for twenty minutes. Then I will return to Kellen’s classroom, to attend twenty minutes of his party, then I will go down the hall to Brayden’s classroom, where I have been instructed to bring juice and a salty snack, where I will spend the final twenty minutes of her party, before most likely getting stuck cleaning all that shit up after all the kids hop on their buses to go home -- bumpy, lurching buses where you just know those damn gingerbread houses are going to get beat all to hell and most likely collapse like a house of cards.

Then, at 3:15 pm tomorrow, our Winter Break will officially begin.

If you need me tomorrow night, odds are I’ll be in my basement, curled up on the floor in the dark, clutching a very large bottle of red wine to my chest.

Well, crap. We don’t have a basement.


Cindy said...


Oh how I wish I could send you some red wine! I have lots of it working in the industry. You need to move to a state that accepts direct wine shipments, then I could be really, really helpful! Best of luck tomorrow.

Postcard Cindy from Sonoma

Marcia said...

Oh man, I gave up volunteering and homeschooling a couple of years ago. I am so enjoying my alone time!! That being said, I am also looking very forward to having them home for the 2 weeks of holidays. No early mornings, no homework crap to deal with, etc. I know I'll end up with my 5 and their friends for most of the time, but I don't care. No school!!! Yippee!!!
Enjoy your insane day!!
Marcia, from Ontario

JoAnn said...

As a longtime follower of Kendrie's CaringBridge site, I am thrilled to see you have your very own blog. You're "life-isms" ( new word I just made up) are just so fun to read and obviously ring true for so many of us who are huge fans of yours. You manage to put into words what so many of us feel and you do it so well!!!!

JoAnn from MN

Anonymous said...

I am having so much fun readng about you Escoes! Thanks for not ending the journaling- I would have gone crazy! :) Enjoy your crazy-school-filled-day! Merry Christmas!

Trish from VA.and formerly of PA. (hopped over from Julianna's site a couple years back and haven't left since!)

Ann - St. Peter MN said...

Wow - I remember those days so well! Now I have college kids who come home for the holidays with laundry in tow. They are truly like infants with their days and nights mixed up - coming down from their bedrooms before I go to work in the morning - still up from the night before. And the food they can pack away! Save me some of that wine!

Amy from St.Pete said...

I'm so sorry that I haven't signed your new blog until now. This is the very first time that I've signed a blog. I'm not big on change, so this is a huge step for me!! Your blog totally rocks!!!
I've been working on a fundraiser with the Katia Solomon Foundation. I'm doing a weight loss challenge. I'm looking for people to sponsor me $1 for every pound I loose, raise awareness for the need of blood donations and to increase the National Marrow Registry. I'm working on a MySpace site to keep everyone updated. I'll let you know more later. I have about 80 lbs. that I want to loose.
Your going to be so sick of kids by the start of Christmas break. Maybe you could send them home with their teachers? And by the way, you are the coolest mom in the carpool lane!!

Kristin Hicks said...

Rolling on the floor, laughing my ass off. That is what my past several day have looked like, only add in the Birthday snack at school for my almost 7 year old and her slumber party with 7 6-year-old girls where I got about 2 hours of sleep and we could be twins. :0)

Imagine me tipping my glass to you. CHEERS!

Sandie said...

I also have followed you over from Kendrie's site and I am thrilled that YOU POST EVERY DAMN DAY! I am not sure when/how you freaking do this, but I will consider it my Christmas gift to myself. I love it!

Sandie from MN

Marci Connell said...

I feel your pain. I also was classroom mom for my daughter Jennifer and this year was a tough year of making reindeer food, goodie bags, cake in ice cream cones decorated with red and green frosting and sprinkles. Then baking like Martha Stewart for 2 days. I say we meet halfway in between our homes and party like there is no tomorrow...the hard stuff,,,,no red wine..LOL...Hope to meet sometime soon. My door is always open for the Escoe clan, I MEAN THAT!!!
Love, Marci p.s check out Wild Adventures schedule they have some really BIG GROUPS coming this year!!

Tabitha Mason said...

Kristie, see your entire post for why I DO homeschool! Hope you guys have a great Christmas!


Kristie said...

Postcard Cindy - We really need to figure out a way to out-smart the industry red-tape. I like mine white, and sweet. :)

Marcia and Trish - enjoy your holidays!

JoAnn - "Life-isms" ... I like that!

Ann - We'll get Postcard Cindy (see above) to send us BOTH a bottle!

Amy - I'm not big on change, either, which is why I can't decide how I feel about this new site and why (believe it or not) I might just change it again, because I think Blogger is undergoing changes as well. In the meantime, congrats and best of luck with your challenge! Please keep me posted on how it's going; I'd love to hear more.

Kristin - oh dear, heavens, a slumber party? I'd rather run through Hell wearing gasoline soaked underpants.

Sandie - glad I could be of service. :)

Marci --- REO? Is REO coming???? I must know the answer!

Tabitha - seriously, you are a better person than me. Even just a few hours with the little ankle-biters and I was about ready to pull my hair out. Kudos to you for having more patience, energy, and discipline than I do.