Monday, December 04, 2006

When "Military Intelligence" Really Is An Oxymoron.

Kristie: “Excuse me, do you have any idea how much longer it might be before my number is called?”

Base Pharmacy Tech: “You’re the next civilian number. But we give active duty military in uniform priority; are you familiar with our system?”

Kristie: “Yes, I understand the system. I’ve just been waiting a very long time.”

Base Pharmacy Tech: “Well, we want the military members to be able to get right back to work so we allow them to get their refills first.”

Kristie: “Yes, yes, I understand, God Bless the USA, it’s admirable. It’s very admirable, indeed, as long as you’re active duty and in uniform. Which I am not. So I’ve been waiting for an hour and my number hasn’t been called, yet in the meantime all the military keep walking up and getting served in front of me.”

Base Pharmacy Tech: “Well, as soon as I have a moment where there are no military waiting, you will be next.”

Kristie: “But what you’re telling me is that you have no idea when that will be, since any time an active-duty member walks up, they get to cut in front of me in line.”

Base Pharmacy Tech: “Well, technically, yes, that’s how it works. As long as they're in uniform.”

Kristie, on a roll now, and feeling a wee bit indignant: “And in the hour I’ve been sitting here, you’ve filled twenty-four military member prescriptions, and only two civilian prescriptions. I know. I’ve been watching.”

Base Pharmacy Tech: “Well, sometimes the system seems to work that way. We have no control over when the active duty members will show up … and Mondays are always a busy day.”

Kristie, huffing and puffing now: “So what you’re saying is that **theoretically**, I could sit here ALL DAY and never get called, as long as one military member after another continues to walk up? And they will ALWAYS be put in line in front of me???”

Base Pharmacy Tech: “Well, I doubt it would take ALL DAY.”

Kristie, getting a little strident: “But it’s been an hour already and there’s no end in sight --- there are more guys in uniform walking up right now!”

Base Pharmacy Tech: “Yes, ma’am, here they come. I see them.”

Kristie: “So basically, I might NEVER get called, is what you’re saying???? Until every active duty person in uniform, in the ENTIRE WORLD, in the ENTIRE HISTORY OF THE ENTIRE WORLD, is served before me, no matter how long I’ve already been waiting?????”

Base Pharmacy Tech: “Well, ma’am, try not to think of it that way.”


And at that point, I did what any sane, calm, rational, reasonable person would do. Stomped my foot, made a big production of rolling my eyes, tossed the ticket on her counter, and spit out, “Forget it! Just forget it! I don’t need your stupid, stupid, fat-head medicine that bad!” and stormed out. Because I am nothing if not mature.

(OK, to be honest, I was a little more polite than that. But I did hand her the ticket and say “Never mind”, which was pretty darn confrontational for me. But the foot stomping and eye rolling? TOTALLY did that in my imagination.)

Blaine went back this afternoon and waited for half an hour before giving up. Obviously, he is not as long-suffering as I am. Wimp.

So tonight I go to bed medicine-less. And tomorrow morning, Blaine, even though he is on convalescent leave from his surgery, will be putting on a uniform and driving to the base pharmacy to get my prescription for me from the active-duty-in-uniform line.

That, my friends, is proof of his true love if ever I needed it.

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