Friday, December 01, 2006

The One Where I Thank You and Confess That I'm a Little Bit Embarrassed -- But Not Enough to Ask You to Stop

Kendrie -- Day 351 OT

Blaine -- sick of yogurt and mashed potatoes, that’s for sure

Thanks so much to all of you who braved the new verification procedure and signed in the guestbook. I’m like an addict, only instead of crack, I crave comments. Remember when you got your very first answering machine, and you would rush in the door after work or school and look to see if the red message light was blinking? And you’d be so disappointed when it wasn’t? Yeah. That’s me. I am seriously co-dependent on the kind words and notes of others, and a little embarrassed that I admitted it out loud. Maybe I need to join a mah-jong group, or bowling league or something, so that I’m not so reliant on all of you to brighten my day and fill my sad, lonely, cheerless, gloomy, forlorn hours …. (deep pathetic sigh) ….. I wonder if there’s a 12-step program for Caringbridge???

But, in the meantime, I’ll say thank you, quit cracking my whip, and just ask that you pop in every now and then to let me know you’re still here. Maybe I was being a little pushy with “daily” …. I mean, you *DO* have lives after all, right? But say HI once in a while! OK?!?

Now, for today’s flashback Friday:

Do you remember the before and after images of your child’s first haircut? If your kids were anything like mine, they were born bald and stayed that way quite a while. So by the time they FINALLY started growing hair, you were so grateful you vowed never to cut it? You had every intention of letting it grow long so that the entire world could enjoy the total beautifulness that was your child? And yet, the day inevitably came when you had to face the truth …. when you had to admit to yourself that the wondrous baby curls and ringlets that were so adorably adorable on your halo’d, angel-faced cherub …. Well, actually, weren’t so adorably adorable? That in fact, they looked pretty straggly and unkempt? And what the hell were you thinking????

That day came for me with all three. You’d think I’d have learned after the first one, but no, I fell for it all three times.

Brayden was practically bald until she was two, but around 18 months the few hairs that were on her head started getting really fuzzy. Finger-in-a-light-socket-fuzzy. We used to joke she looked like Albert Einstein, in his mad scientist phase. We kept putting off the first haircut, thinking it was bound to grow longer. Or straighter. Or thicker. Or anything! We finally decided to cut hers in desperation, hoping it would just start to grow. Period. When we walked in the salon, I told the hairdresser I wanted Brayden to look like Shirley Temple when she was done. (Why is it no-one but me ever thinks my jokes are funny?)

Barney is always a good support system for the very first haircut. And it looked SO much better once the fuzz was gone. She still didn’t have a lot of hair, but at least the hair she had was more manageable. And I thought, why did I wait so long?

Kellen was a lot the same way. I remember thinking I didn’t want to cut his hair because it would make him look too grown up, like a little boy instead of a toddler. So instead, he walked around for months looking like a hobo. A hobo who had never been introduced to Great Clips.

At long last, I caved:

Finally, finally! A haircut! (To this day, he still hates having his hair sprayed with the water bottle before each haircut. I think this very first haircut traumatized him.)

Afterwards, he was so cute, and although he *did* look more grown up, I thought, why did I wait so long?

With Kendrie, I was definitely deluding myself. I had somehow convinced myself that the stringy, messy stuff she had going on were actually beautiful blonde curls. And I really liked those blonde, wispy “curls” …. and hated that once we cut the hair, the curls would be gone. So I hung on to them, definitely longer than was necessary.

But all good things must come to an end:

As you can see, Kendrie was none too enthused about her first haircut. And my God, when did I get such a huge double-chin?

Nope, not getting any happier. At all. And yes, the hairdresser doing the job is laughing at her. Cold-hearted shrew.

But when all was said and done, and she was given a lollipop, which made everything worthwhile, it looked so much better, and yet again, I thought to myself, why did I wait so long???

You’d think by the third kid, I would have learned.
And truly, you’d think by the time the third kid grew her hair back from chemo, I would certainly have learned. I’m 40 years old, for pete’s sake, there aren’t too many learning-cells left in this brain of mine. If a message hasn't stuck by now, it's probably not going to.

Then again, when your child has been bald for a while, you’re so excited to see the blonde hair finally start to grow in, that you form a warped sort of attachment to it. So you let it grow, and convince yourself that it looks fine. Cute, even. And you feel thrilled when the ends start curling up again, because ever since that very first haircut, the hair has been straight as a stick. Yes, you like the curls.

In fact, you love these curls! Total strangers stop you on the street to comment on the curls, and weep at the loveliness of the curls, and you vow never to cut it. Never! NEVER!!!

Then, you notice, that except for the curls on the bottom …. Well, the rest of it looks like crap. Total crap. Said child will not, under any circumstance, even remotely consider using a barrette or a bow or a hairclip or a headband or a ponytail holder, so the hair just keeps growing and hanging down and sticking out, and alas, despite all your optimistic hopefulness, looking worse and worse all the time.

So bad, that some parents might consider cutting it themselves. *SOME* distressed mother might even get so annoyed (I’m just saying) and so desperate (hey, it could happen) that she would grab her scrapbooking scissors (just, you know, as an example) and try to cut it herself. Confident in her ability to give a cute haircut. Despite the fact she has no training nor experience nor expertise of any kind. Ultimately resulting in out-of-control hair that is not only out-of-control, but now chopped off unevenly all over. (And no, I don’t know who would do that. I'm just saying. As an example. A completely ANONYMOUS example.)

(photo not available)

All I can say is thank goodness for our friend Miss Jeanette, who actually has gone to cosmotology school and has a real, live, certified license to fix my mistakes cut hair.

And why on EARTH did we wait so long????

PS. Although seriously, I do miss the curls.

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