A Beach Retreat in Numbers

Number of suitcases required to pack for week at the beach: 4

Number of bags packed and carried by the children containing all of their “essential” items for beach vacation (ie, toys, books, stuffed animals): 5

Number of hours spent in the van driving 110 miles to Atlanta to get on the Lighthouse chartered bus, thanks to the major accident on northbound I-75: 4

Number of minutes it took us to travel 3 miles after that major accident: 92

Number of people pulled over at first gas station after accident getting fuel, snacks, and using the potty: 3196

Number of kids that Blaine took into the men’s restroom never mind that there’s no toilet paper they can use a paper towel did you see how many women were in line for the ladies restroom? : 3

Once on the bus, number of minutes I was able to enjoy wireless internet connection before the computer battery went dead: 35

Number of positions I tried to sleep in, on the bus: 5

Number of those positions that were comfortable: 0

Number of children under the age of 7 we had in the beach-house we were sharing with two other Lighthouse families: 7

Number of times the noise level was out of control: surprisingly, 0

Number of times I cursed the aesthetic beauty of Seaside which prohibits cell towers of any kind, rendering my cell phone and wireless internet connection useless: 374

Number of miles we rode to and from the beach and Lighthouse activities on our rental bikes: approximately 100

Number of times I wished either the humidity was less, I was in better physical condition, or both: approximately 100

Number of times I told myself to shut up with the complaining because it sure beat walking: approximately 100



Number of times I rewarded myself for the strenuous bicycling activity with ice cream, therefore cancelling out any kind of physical benefits of exercising: 2

Number of times I thought I would die from lack of Diet Dr. Pepper: 796

Number of times I regretted not packing my anti-frizz hair cream: 27

Number of days the “no getting in the water” red flag was flying at the beach: 5

Number of days we gave up and swam in the pool: 4

Number of days we cheated and got in the ocean anyway: 1

Number of times I thought that might have been a bad idea: Only 1, when a big wave knocked me over and I fell on top of Kendrie and I was laughing so hard I couldn’t get up and almost drowned the poor kid.

Number of pairs of goggles I had to buy at the beach because I am a terrible mom who forgot to pack them from home: 3

Number of sweatshirts I bought so we wouldn’t freeze to death on the bus ride home: 5

Number of times we have been lucky enough to attend The Lighthouse Retreat: 3

Number of times we would go back if they would have us: 1,000,000,000

Number of grains of sand we brought back from Florida in our clothes, suitcases, towels, shoes, shorts, and on our skin, in our hair, and even the cracks and wrinkles of our bodies: Google. Infinity.