Saturday, May 05, 2007

A Mother's Love

We have the most ginormous drains in our street you've ever seen. I don't notice them so much now, as we're used to them, but when we were considering buying this house we live in, the children were much younger, and much smaller, and I told Blaine I was worried about those drains. They are huge, and I was afraid we would lose one of our children down them. It's not even funny, because I know it really happens.

We've lived here five years and we've not yet lost a child. But we've lost more baseballs than I can count, and a few rubber balls and basketballs and bouncy balls and kick balls. There have been quite a few tears shed over the drain, and today was no exception.

Kellen's soccer ball went down it, headed straight for the local water system ... maybe even the ocean ......... but WAIT!!! The ball was lodged in the corner of the drain, caught behind a piece of plywood! There was hope!!!

This was me, getting the ball out of the drain:

That ball was at least six feet down, and required the ingenious use of both a broom and Blaine's fishing net to get it out. While I was down there, I saw a nerf football, a Razor with no handles ... and a BIKE. Who on earth loses an entire BIKE down a drain???? People who live on our street, with giant sucking mutant drains, that's who.

Kendrie thought she was being helpful, and Brayden thought she was being funny. I appreciated both of them, until I realized I was also laying across a line of working ants, and in my haste to get out of the drain, I not only bumped my head but dragged it through a spider's web.

But at last, my boy and his ball were reunited.

Truly, a mother's love knows no bounds. But it's a damn good thing I'm not five pounds heavier, or a bigger cup size, or my top-half truly wouldn't have fit down that hole.

PS. Here are the robin eggs today.

I can't tell any difference, but Brayden swears they are fatter, and rapidly approaching maturity and hatching. Does anyone know the length of gestations for robin eggs?


Kris said...

Seriously, that is one of THE FUNNIEST pics EVER!!!

Anonymous said...

Kristie, You know how much I love your blog but don't write very often but this was the funniest picture I've ever seen and probably the funniest story!! My family is sitting here watching 'The Good Shepherd' and I'm laughing my head off. They think I'm nuts and I say 'No, the lady in this PICTURE is nuts.'
Susan in Minnesota

Tina, ALL-KIDS said...

Oh my God! How funny! You made my day, sorry at your expense though LOL... As for the robin eggs, from prior experience 2 1/2-3 weeks tops. Every year the same moronic bird lays it eggs in one of our hanging plants on our top porch. Little does the mama know but the baby birds either sadly plummet about 30 ft to their death each year, or as we discovered last year, some other psycho bird breed comes along and kicks out the eggs.
This year we put the plants up late... so moron bird has laid them in a low tree. Now our cat has deposited one baby bird half chewed on our doorstep. Great...
Good luck with the eggs!

Anonymous said...

Robin's eggs will hatch in 11 - 13 days. We had a robin that came back a few years in a row to the same nest. I think I scared her babies out of the nest last year, so she might not come back this year (haven't noticed her in the nest yet, but it's early in ND, more of an early June thing here).

I was excited to hear more of your story (baby makes 5), and can't wait to hear about you deciding to become a surrogate...

Your blog makes me laugh & I can relate to many of your stories.

Rachel in Grand Forks, ND

Pat in CA said...

Gee, do a google search & THIS comes up!! (More info than you probably want! :-)

Small Carnivore

Weight: 300 grams

Life Span: 7 years

Gestation period: 40 days
Number of young: 4

Oxygen needed
Carbon dioxide produced


Energy needed: 60 calories/day

Eats Insects and Earthworms, including
All Small Omnivores



Calories contained: 281

Robins also lay eggs.
Each robin egg contains 25 calories.

Robin Eggs are eaten by Raccoons

Now, aren't you glad you asked?? Hey, if there are any spiders left in your hair after it went through the web, YOU can supply the first meal!!

Pat in CA

Anonymous said...

Dear Kristie,
LOL, that pic of you down the drain is soooo funny, I love it!! Do you think that those two little people hanging on to you could have saved you if you'd gone plunging to the depths of the drain? How deep are they?

Take care,
Love Angela

Marysienka said...

Hahaha what a GREAT picture! My family thinks I'm crazy now... laughing like this in front of my computer!
I don't know about robin eggs... my ornithology knowlegde can be resumed to crows and pigeons.

Renee in Canada

D said...

How funny, and boy, oh boy did I need a laugh. My four-year old got her tonsils out on Thursday, and as parents of only one child, we have been experiencing all of the anxiety that comes with a child with a fever who won't eat. It was nice to escape even for the two minutes to read your blog.


Melissa said...

Oh God Kristie! Did you not see the Stephen King movie "It" or read the book?? Pennywise the evil clown lives down in those drains! I swear that's all I think about when I see one of those drains, and I would NOT have been able to go near it!

Briana said...

I cannot believe that is YOU with your head down the drain with all those germs. Gross! Dalton loves his soccer ball, too, but I'm not sure I'm mom enough to go down a drain to get it. You deserved mom of the year with that one.

Glad to see the eggs are still in the tree.

Anonymous said...

Susan in MN,

If you think this one was funny, you'll have to go way back to my personal favorite. It had to do with watching a baseball game and cheering for Kellen and suddenly thinking a foul ball was heading her way! I still laugh every time I drive past a little league diamond!

Kristie, please repost that one for anyone who missed it I am still lmao!!!

Teresa in IA

Anonymous said...

Yeah Kristie, like Teresa in IA said - repost the one about the suspected foul ball. I need another good laugh.
Susan in MN

Anonymous said...

Kristie, All I can say with that picture is I wish the ER tech could see you. Obviously anyone pregnant would not find themselves in that position. I promise when I first looked at the picture I thought it was Kellen with his head down the drain. I hope the ants didn't eat too much of you! Thanks for continuing your family story. I too am looking forward to hearing how you became a surrogate mother. Have a great weekend! Rene in Wilmington, NC

Sherri in NC said...


I'm a huge Stephen King fan, and my first thought too was "OMG,don't go down the drain, the evil clown lives down there!!" So Melissa, you weren't the only one thinking about that. Seriously that book scared the crap out of me and I don't think I could even live on your street with those drains. I'd have nightmares about the stupid clown... ok, so I'm strange.
Oh, and 10 to 14 days on the robin eggs is about right. Let us know when they hatch.

Sherri in NC

Lisa said...

Wow - never seen drains like that before - don't think we could get away with them over here, our drains have slats covering them to keep in line with health and safety rules. Completely lovely photo - any more news on Blaine? Love and prayers.

kim said...

THAT is the funniest picture I have ever seen--I think it is one of those classic Escoe-esque shots! Still laughing...And those drains? WHOA! Even without the drain-inhabiting evil clown--and ALL clowns creep me out, even without having read "It"--those things look wicked. Really, shouldn't there be some sort of grate or something on them? And I agree that this should automatically put you in the running for "Mother of the Year." Look at that smile your efforts put on your boy's handsome face! That's it, you win!

Anonymous said...

OMG Woman, you can get a nice soccer ball at Target for $10.00. You couldn't pay me $100.00 to stick my head in there. Yikes. That is what kids are for. We have one similar to that on our court and one of local shit heads threw my 7 yr old DD's Razor scooter in it. 13 yr old old DD to the rescue, not mom lol. And also without my authorization, as I'd rather have paid $30.00 for another than face Pennywise, lol.

Anonymous said...

I don't like those drains either! You are a good Mother, cause I told my kids yesterday to never chase a ball into a drain and if it goes down there, well then, it's gone! We'd have to get another one another day, but no one is going in a drain to fetch one. And here you are!! Too funny!

Claire in Texas

Anonymous said...

For those of you who didn't follow Kendrie's caringbridge site or missed this entry, I found it! My personal favorite!

Teresa in IA.

Most Proud Moment this Week:

Was it when Kellen got up to bat and hit a home run in last night’s game? (Never mind that he was the first batter at bat and no-one else was on base ….. one run is better than none, right?)

When Kellen perfectly fielded the ground ball that came his way? (Holy crap, is that tongue hanging out of his mouth? Here we go again………..)

When Kellen easily beat the runner to first base after fielding said ball?

When Kellen ran up and caught a fly ball with the greatest of ease??

No, it was the moment AFTER Kellen caught that fly ball, and I was sitting in my chair, pumping my arm in the air, doing the WOOT-WOOT yell like Julia Roberts did in Pretty Woman, when suddenly, I saw a stray ball out of the corner of my eye, headed right for my head. It happens occasionally, with the ball fields so close together. Although I was a little offended that no one bothered to yell “Heads Up!” as a warning, I managed to flinch, duck, jerk my body around, almost overturn myself in my chair, and escape just in the nick of time …. Only to realize ….. to my horror ….. that the white round thing I saw headed towards my head was not actually a Ball, but the flab from my upper arms gyrating around while I was making the appropriate arm gestures to go with the WOOT-WOOT cheer.

There was no real way to explain what had just happened to the parents around me who were clearly startled by my sudden chair-calisthenics, so I played it off with a loud comment about “A bee! I thought I saw a bee!” and then tried to act for the rest of the game like nothing happened. How embarrassing.

M, Ms. R, Mom, Auntie M, Marey said...

OMG! When I was a kid we used to go down the drains and collect pop bottles for refunds :)
Happy Sunday!

Renee' said...

Kristie, you're getting so skinny, I thought you were one of the kids -- swear to God. You win Mom of the Year for that photo!

JoAnn said...

OMG! That picture is priceless! Seriously- consider framing it. And when Kellen yells at you sometime in the future accusing you of being the meanest mom in whole world pull those two pictures out! That will show him! I love it!!!!

cakeburnette said...

We have those same drains over here on my side of town. My kids swear they saw someone crawl down into it, but I am skeptical.

Brenda said...

Kendrie was being helpful, and Brayden...that WAS funny!

Deborah said...

Why on EARTH would you stick yourself halfway down a drain??? I thought that was Kellen at first and was horrified you'd let your son go down a drain, but when I read it was you I was very impressed. And grossed out. Mostly grossed out, cuz you have no idea what trickles down that sewer. But good for you for retrieving that ball! Whatta mom! Your butt looks pretty good, BTW.

Anonymous said...

I hope you read these comments. Now is that you half in the drain or are you all the way in the drain? I am so confused, nothing new. Also, ewwwwww if you're entirely in the thing.

Lene said...

Oh that is a great picture! lol

Those drains are just scary!

Anonymous said...

Teresa in IA,
I just read your repost of Kristie's experience with the 'foul ball.' Thank you so very much for posting it because I really needed a good laugh today!!
Kristie, all I can say is WHY are you going back to Oklahoma when you could come to Minnesota, move into the house next to mine which is for sale right now, and entertain me for the rest of my life???
Susan in MN

Tracey said...

Are you crazy?? I seriously thought that was Kellen in the drain and was wondering if you had temporarily lost your mind, LOL! I would have headed to the nearest Walmart, you are one brave (and might I add, trusting!!) Mama! :-) You must be Kellen's hero right about now, ahhhh!
Wow, those are really big drains, those would have scared me to death when my kids were little. I remember many years ago reading about a little guy that was lost to the drain up here in Canada, I cried when I read that, it was my biggest nightmare for years when Quinn was small. I used to have awful dreams about it, it broke my heart for what his mother must have gone through. Why on earth don't they put bars on those things?? Oh dear, don't mean to be a downer, it's just that they scare me witless! It's really a hilarious shot and I'm glad you could retrieve Kellen's ball, I know how attached the boys get to them, having seen my kids melt down with the loss of a ten cent bouncy ball, LOL!

Michelle, Al. said...

O.K., I was really confused. I looked at the picture and thought I saw 3 kids forming a chain. Then this morning after reading all the comments I had to go back and re-look at the picture. Crazy me was thinking you were down in the drain and the kids were looking down at you..Now I've noticed that Kellen has on a red shirt and you have on a white one.

Anonymous said...

I found Kendrie's caringbridge site from Andrew's and I have no idea where I found his. I work at a Children's hospital here in Iowa and one of our students gave us her dance marathon families website and it just spiraled from there.

I think my husband and brother are sick of hearing me talk about your blog, but they do agree it is quite funny.

When I first saw the picture, I thought it was one of your kids and couldn't believe you would let them do that. I also thought about the germs. We have big storm drains, though not quite that big, and it's amazing the things I've seen half in and half out of them.

I love the way you can still see the humorous side of things through all you and your family have gone through. I've been touched by a lot of the same things in my life, though none to the degree you have, such as a grandfather with cancer, infertility issues, etc.

Thanks for making me laugh.

Shannon in IA.