I mentioned a few entries back that I had recently burned all our home movies to DVD. Because the tapes are each two hours long, but the DVDs are only one hour long, that meant I couldn’t just push the “record” button and walk off. I had to set a timer and keep checking back near the end of every hour to wait and shut the machine off at precisely the right time, heaven forbid I accidentally miss recording a single solitary moment of my kids dancing naked to the Wiggles in our living room.
Watching that many snippets (approximately 8,343 hours, if I was guessing) of old home movies was an interesting journey, and I thought I would share the thoughts that went through my brain throughout the process:
“Ahhhh, look how cute the kids are! I just love those precious little babies!!”
“Oh, the way they run around naked is so funny and adorable!”
“Wow. I, uh, I don’t remember that much crying going on.”
“Huh, look at that. Still no clothes on. That’s ok, they’re still pretty cute.”
“Geez, my voice is even more strident and annoying than I realized.”
“I just don’t remember the kids fighting that much, that early.”
“I had no idea their melodramatic tendencies, not necessarily good ones, started so young.”
“Why is it that every time we got out the video camera, one of the kids felt compelled to run up and stick their face RIGHTINTHELENS so all we got was a close up of their nostrils?”
“Getting Kellen in speech therapy at age two was the best thing we ever did.”
Near the End:
“Oh for pete’s sake, do these kids do anything but fight??!?! All day, every day, every video, *somebody* is crying or whining or complaining about something one of their brothers or sisters did! How did I not lose my freaking mind?!?!?”
“Geez Louise, did we not own any clothes for our children?!?!?”
Video doesn’t lie.
And apparently, we were running a nudist colony for whiners and tattletales.