Friday, May 25, 2007

Google doesn't lie. Neither does Video.

I mentioned a few entries back that I had recently burned all our home movies to DVD. Because the tapes are each two hours long, but the DVDs are only one hour long, that meant I couldn’t just push the “record” button and walk off. I had to set a timer and keep checking back near the end of every hour to wait and shut the machine off at precisely the right time, heaven forbid I accidentally miss recording a single solitary moment of my kids dancing naked to the Wiggles in our living room.

Watching that many snippets (approximately 8,343 hours, if I was guessing) of old home movies was an interesting journey, and I thought I would share the thoughts that went through my brain throughout the process:

The Beginning:

“Ahhhh, look how cute the kids are! I just love those precious little babies!!”

“Oh, the way they run around naked is so funny and adorable!”

“Wow. I, uh, I don’t remember that much crying going on.”

The Middle:

“Huh, look at that. Still no clothes on. That’s ok, they’re still pretty cute.”

“Geez, my voice is even more strident and annoying than I realized.”

“I just don’t remember the kids fighting that much, that early.”

“I had no idea their melodramatic tendencies, not necessarily good ones, started so young.”

“Why is it that every time we got out the video camera, one of the kids felt compelled to run up and stick their face RIGHTINTHELENS so all we got was a close up of their nostrils?”

“Getting Kellen in speech therapy at age two was the best thing we ever did.”

Near the End:

“Oh for pete’s sake, do these kids do anything but fight??!?! All day, every day, every video, *somebody* is crying or whining or complaining about something one of their brothers or sisters did! How did I not lose my freaking mind?!?!?”

“Geez Louise, did we not own any clothes for our children?!?!?”

Final Conclusion:

Video doesn’t lie.

And apparently, we were running a nudist colony for whiners and tattletales.


The Running Girl said...

Interesting view of the videos. We bought a DVR recorder earlier this year (although it is still in the box) with the idea of doing the same thing - copying all those home movies to dvd. I haven't done it yet (obviously - the recorder is still in the box) but it will be interesting to see my thoughts when I finally do copy them over. Have a great Memorial Day Weekend!

Two Kids and a Husband said...

ahhahahaha... okay seriously...I am in the throws of 5 year old girl and 2 year old boy... my kids are always nakid...I mean always... they ahve no shame.. they go into the bathroom fully clothed and come out fully naked... The two year old is in the fits of tantrums and terrible twos..and the five year old is turning into a preteen diva before my very eyes... sigh... your videos look like my videos...LOL

Tracey said...

You are not alone, trust me. Thanks for that laugh!

Anne said...

Kristi, you always crack me up. I just had to post today because I have walked through those videos and am on the other side staring down a whole new trail to blaze. I have a 14 year-old and a practically 17 year-old (upcoming senior!). I can remember when people would say, "Enjoy them while they are little." And I would see whining, crying, etc. and think, "Enjoy THIS!" But let me tell you, the years fly and they grow up before you know it. Even with all of the drama, I wouldn't have missed it for the world! (Well...maybe the farting competition at my son's 9 year-old birthday party! I'd like to delete that one!)

D said...

OMIGOD----- ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is so blasted funny. I thought is was just us. My four-year old daughter always ends up taking off either her pants her shirt. I was recently telling her that when she starts school in August, she'll have to stay dressed the whole day. She replied, "I know mommy. That's why I'm trying to make sure that I stay as comfortable as possible now. You know, in just a 'coupala' months, you'll have no girl running around 'nekkid' in your living room." Call me a wierdo, but that instantly brought tears to my eyes.

Anonymous said...

Kristie, you crack me up. And what "d" said really is true . . . they're not going to be little forever. So let's make a pact to just shake our heads in embarrassment at all the weirdness they bring to our lives. Underpants jokes and boogers on the wall won't last forever. At least I hope not. Wait....did I really just type the boogers-on-the-wall thing? Sheesh.

Claire in Indiana

LIBSMOM said...

Just wanted to let you know, I've contacted the blog police about your flagrant lack of attention to the thread you left us hanging by when you stopped the baby making stories!!! Can we get a little surrogacy post here? Ok, please can we get a surrogacy post?
Just kidding about the blog police but don't make me go there if you leave us hanging much longer!

Denise Ward said...

I always thought my sister and I had gotten along exceptionally well for children until my mother presented me with a box containing things from my childhood, namely some diaries I kept from the time I was around 9 years old. Needless to say nearly every page started off with "had a fight with (insert sister's name here) about... It brought back so many memories and definitely revised my opinion about our childhood! Neither of us ever got naked though. It's nice to take a stroll through memory lane just to refresh your memory of how things really were!

cakeburnette said...

Mark managed to cure our two of the "nekkid's" when they were about 2 and 3. We got a few snow flurries one day and he was home alone with them and called for them to come out and get ready to go out in the snow. They came out butt-naked. By the time he got them back dressed, the snow was gone. He told them, "let that be a lesson to you: keep your clothes on, because you never know when it's going to snow in Middle GA, and it might not last long." That actually worked, believe it or not!