Because you care about your children, and want to broaden their horizons and expose them to culture and history, you will schlep yourself onto the metro, with the gazillion other families also on Spring Break, and take them to the mall. And walk them up and down the mall, covering approximately twenty seven miles, pointing out monuments, and discussing the founding fathers, and what it means to be inspirational and a hero. You will enrich their little minds with details about the Washington Monument, and the Lincoln Monument, and the Declaration of Independence, and the Gettysburg Address, and talk about the Vietnam War, and World War II, and the Capitol, and the White House, and the beauty of cherry blossoms. And you will try to impress upon them the significance of the things they are seeing, and to appreciate the ideals and beliefs upon which our great nation was founded, and the amazing men and women who made these things possible.
And your children will gaze upon the monuments. For about five seconds.
Then child number one will complain about how hot she is and how none of the vendors near the Lincoln Monument sell ice cream.
And child number three will complain about how much her legs hurt and demand to be carried the second half of the twenty-seven miles, and whine until you give in, never mind that she weighs 55 pounds and is giving her mom and dad both hernias as they swap off.
And child number two will simply ask, in a bored and unimpressed tone, how much longer? Because they are in the middle of a Pac-Man contest on the computer at the hosts' home and that is much more important than looking at a bunch of buildings.
And you? Well, you will suddenly realize that the vacation you are taking this summer? The adults-only, no-children vacation? The one where Grandma Betty will be babysitting while you and four adult friends will be seeing grown up things that don't involve ice cream (well, maybe a little ice cream) or Pac-Man contests or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. That despite how much you love your kids ...........
That vacation cannot come soon enough.