Saturday, April 14, 2007

Definitions

Definition of "lucky": A woman who gets to go away, twice in four weeks, with girlfriends to scrapbook for the weekend.

Definition of "superwife attempt": A woman who feels a little guilty for going away twice in four weeks to scrapbook, so before she leaves, she washes, folds and puts away four loads of laundry, spit-polishes the house, sweeps the floors, and leaves a tasty yet nourishing stew in the crockpot for her poor, neglected, abandoned family.

Definition of "supermom attempt": A woman who really starts feeling guilty, I mean super-guilty, about leaving all the time, so she decides to drive home late at night, on the second night of the scrapbook retreat, in order to attend her children's soccer games the next morning.

Revised definition of "lucky": A woman who, driving home at 2am, gets pulled over by the county sherriff, for a burned out headlamp, and when he asks her to get out of the mini-van, so he can show her that the elementary school license plate cover she has on her van is actually obstructing the tags on her plate, and is therefore illegal, and yet she doesn't get a ticket for either one.

Even "luckier": That it is not illegal to look like total crap. Because if that police officer had taken a good look at this woman, in her inside-out sweatshirt, pajama bottoms, house-shoes, no makeup, and scrunchie hair ............ well, if they gave tickets for "pathetic", that would have been one stiff fine, indeed.

15 comments:

cakeburnette said...

um...I have to admit that I actually have gone to drop off/pick up my kids in almost that exact outfit (substitute sweatpants for pj bottoms) on more than one occasion. Aren't you glad you are at a different school? ;)

Mixed Up Me said...

I admit I take my daughter and my neighbor's daughter to school everyday in that exact same outfit! It's great because our school has this rule that if you don't want to wait in the "impossible to drop your child off before the bell rings" line of traffic in the front of the school, where a nice teacher opens the door and helps the child out, you can drop off in the back, but you have to park and walk your child to the gate . . . yes indeed, I drop off in the back and walk them to the gate everyday in my so cute outfit!! My daughter loves me for this!

Have a great day, Kristie!

Kristin in Plano, TX said...

O.K., I have to admit, I am in my p.j. bottoms as soon as I hit the door after work and could live in them the entire weekend if I didn't have to go out and shop for food, and essentials.
At least you don't go IN your kids school in Blaine's old, gray longjohn bottoms with the crotch hanging down to your knees on a daily basis! I swear, there is this woman at the school I teach at that brings her second grader in "dressed" like that every day!!!!! You see it all. . . so I'm sure Mr. Policeman has seen a lot worse, don't worry, you probably were more on the "normal" end of the spectrum! :O)

Kristin

Megan E. said...

I have to admit that not only have I left the house in my pj's and house shoes when I know I am not getting out of the car but I have also gone with out a bra! All the while hoping I dont get pulled over for some reason while I'm not even wearing a bra!

Megan

Cindy said...

LOL this cracked me up!!!

liz in sumner said...

My greatest fear is getting into a car accident while dressed in the pajama bottoms (or sweats), sans bra, make-up and unwashed hair to boot; they (the paramedics/police/fire personnel, et. al have to cut my clothes off of me because of injuries, AND - I live to experience the FULL humiliation of it all! Does it stop me from going out like this (at 9:30 at night for cigs??)? Heck no! And Kristie - guilt is probably my one greatest motivator in life - so, I'm with you, babe!

Anonymous said...

Hey Kristie -
Thanks for being the poster mom for driving! If everyone who reads your site admitted to being dressed like you described, your site would overload and we would all make the national news!!! If tomorrow wasn't Sunday, and I didn't have to teach a SS class, I'd stay in my currently comfy jammies for the day!

Note to self: "Tell Sunday School class that next week is 'come in your Jammies for Jesus'!

Thanks for brightening my days!

Lynne

kim said...

Sign me up with everyone else. The minute I hit the door of my house after work everyday, "work" clothes start flyin' and I'm in my sweats/jammies, sans bra. My word, but I hate bras! And me without one is not a pretty sight, but still...

And for all of the rest of you, along with Kristie, dropping your kids off while wearing your sweats/jammies? My humble opinion is, you're all still SUPERMOMS even with the "casual" attire :)!

Anonymous said...

Hello Kristie,
That is so funny!!! I'm glad you didn't get a ticket! I have to admit that I have driven over to my neighbours (to feed their cats when they are away)in my nightdress/bathrobe, hoping that nobody will see me, it is about 2 kilometers away and in a wooded garden so as long as the post lady or burglars are not there I don't risk to be seen!! I never thought about the possiblity of being stopped by the police, I'll probably not dare do this again now! I also go out to our post box most mornings in my bathrobe hoping that nobody will be driving by at the time, (we live in the middle of vineyards, it is surprising how much work has to be carried out on the vines, there are people there almost daily most of the year!)
Good for you going away and having some time for yourself, you certainly shouldn't feel guilty about getting away scrap booking now and again! I'm sure it is great for the father/children relationship for them to be alone sometimes isn't it? My kid's are 22 years old now, I never left them with my husband who was a somewhat reluctant father, I wish now looking back that I had left them with him, it might have taught him something, though it could have been hard on the poor kids!
Take care,
love Angela

Amy from St.Pete said...

Kristie,
I'm so jealous!! I can't go pee without one of my kids around.
I never did tell you my favorite TV shows, so I will now.
Young and the Restless (my grandma got me hooked on this when I was little, I grew up with this show)
Scrubs & The Office (favorite comedy)
ER (I've never watched the new medical drama shows)
American Idol is my all time favorite show!!! I did watch DWTS last year but haven't been this season. I do follow who gets cut though.
We just got a new 42 inch plasma HDTV and of course we have a DVR (I LOVE this). The Discovery channel has a new series that is awesome. It's all done in HD and some of the animals have never been seen before on camera.
My favorite shows when I was growing up were:
Different Strokes, Three's Company, Facts of life, Cheers, Cosby Show, Family Ties, Growing Pains, The Love Boat & Fanatsy Island.
Have a great day!!

Renee' said...

Until last night, the boys didn't know what pantyhose are! Does that tell you anything about my sweatpants attire???

Anonymous said...

I got caught a couple weeks ago in the school drop off line with that same attire on. And what do you know, of all mornings the lady behind me pushed the gas instead of the brakes and rear ended me. SO I have to get out of my truck PJH's and all to check for damage.

Rena'

D said...

Momma/Wife guilt is a witch- that's for sure!!!!! Though, you should remember that your hard "work" in scrapbooking will be enjoyed by your family for many years to come. Glad to read that you didn't get a ticket.

Anonymous said...

I would wear comfy pants and a t-shirt 24/7 if I could! I would be happy just wearing jeans on a daily basis ... but not in my work dress code :( My first year teaching we were doing drug awareness week and every day had a theme. On crazy sock day I wore rainbow toe socks and flip flops -- on the way to work a Mom failed to yield and t-boned me going 40 :( So when I ended up in the ER with crazy toe socks and flip flops ... ya, I had some explaining to do ;) Luckily they had seen a kid the day before wearing everything inside out and backwards.

Don't be too guilty scrapbooking! You are creating a wonderful treasure for your kids!!! Do your kids love to see your work when you are done creating a page?

Jen

Anonymous said...

I have never posted before but I read your blog every day and I love it .... it makes me crack up. I went to Florida for Easter Break and while driving thru Georgia I was thinking hmmm I wonder where kristie lives ??? LOL So when I got to work today I had to catch up on your site since I have not read it in a week (going thru withdrawals) and I of course laughed at alot of the blogs. I was not however in agreement with the TV show thing I have 3 teenagers myself and with my first I tried to shelter him and realized that when you send them to school they learn alot from the other kids so I let my guard down and I now use negative things as a topic for a lecture LOL my kids hate it but it works for us. I also am cracking up at getting pulled over and looking like you did. I have thought many times that if I ever got pulled over in my jammies I would never hear the end of it from my husband who says "Don't go out like that". I do have to say tho jammie pants don't let you know when your gaining weight tho..... LOL