Saturday, April 19, 2008

Week in Review

So, if you had to guess which of the following events was my LEAST favorite part of the previous week, which would it be?

a) Going to the gynecologist ….. again …. But at least this visit only involved a blood draw and not an intimate adventure like the last few dozen appointments.

b) Serving as test monitor for one of the 4th grade classes at my children’s school …. Apparently a fairly bright class, considering they all finished the standardized testing before the time was up, which meant I had nothing to actually monitor, and I was so freaking bored by the end of the day I had snagged a Judy Blume book off the teacher’s bookshelf and read the entire thing, cover to cover. Bonus pathetic points for the fact I enjoyed it.

c) Attending my first-ever Pilates class and realizing that while I might not be the oldest of the group, I am definitely the fattest and the most out of shape. I’m discovering that in order to “strengthen” my core muscles, I need to actually possess core muscles to being with, and I do not. Plus, I think my diaphragm is retarded (even though I know retarded is a very un-p.c. word and I normally try very, very hard not to use it, but really, it’s the only way I can think to describe it.) Every time the teacher would say “inhale”, I would realize I was exhaling. And every time she would say “exhale”, I would realize I was inhaling. Can’t I even breathe correctly??? No wonder I'm chubby. But about the time she told us to lay on our backs and point our feet upward and write our names on the ceiling with our toes, I realized I didn’t care about my retarded diaphragm, I just wanted the class to be over so I could go home and lament my total lack of core muscles.

d) Going to the dentist. That’s all, just going to the dentist.

So, go in the comment section and guess which thing I hated most. Then tell me which thing YOU would hate most.

Need a clue? Here, let me share with you a snippet of conversation I had:

Dental hygienist: “Are you having any problems with your teeth?”

Me: “No. But sometimes I dream and stuff that they’re falling out …. Is that bad?” (pathetic attempt to try and be funny)

Dental hygienist: “You have green stuff falling out of your teeth? Yes, I would say that is bad.”


Haley said...

You need to go to my dentist; I love him. I've also have an itty-bitty crush on him, which makes the whole experience go a lot smoother. :)

As for testing, that's one of the worst things about teaching, second only to my ever-growing stack of papers to grade.

krueth said...

I would most definitly hate going to the dentist the most. The Dr can do his poke, peek and prod, but I put off the dentist as long as possible each time..Ugh! Have a good weekend. Wendy

Marisa said...

The worst.. the Pilates class and I guarantee if I was there YOU would NOT be the chubbiest, fattest, retardiest, flabbiest, most out of shapiest one there !!

Kim said...

Oh my Gosh, Kristie,
I went to my first ever Pilates class this week as well. Thank goodness it was with friends cause man, I was doing some major complaining.....

We have started this "wellness shit" at school so.... I went to Pilates Class. Guess what? I don't have core muscles either!! Well, at least I didn't think I did until they hurt like the devil 2 days later!!!!

Anyway, I did "Walk Away the Pounds" video with another group from school. I actually walked for 3 miles with out totally falling out! We watch on the HUGE screen together in the library after school and walked and walked and moved out arms, etc. Pretty neat!

I too am neither the oldest, but I sure am one of the worst as being out of shape! Idon't even have the excuse that I'm all jacked up on hormones trying to be a surrogate for somebody....I just eat too dog-gone much!!!

Gotta run!

Anonymous said...


Dentist and Dentist. I hate going to the dentist. Don't get me wrong - I like my dentist, but EVERY time I go I come out of there with a horrible headache!


Jacqueline said...

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you disliked the Pilates class the most. For me, it would definately be the gyno...I shudder thinking about it.

Heather said...

Totally the dentist! The smell, the taste, the feel.... all bad. I finally found one that makes sure he doesn't hurt me unnecessarily... unlike the one before. 'Course I would be wailing after any kind of exercise... I get winded going up the stairs at work (about 12 steps).

Have a great weekend!

Mary said...

I'd have to guess the Pilates class? That's also what I'd say would be the worst for me. We're starting a health/fitness program at work May 1st with very cool it wrong to be both dreading it and looking forward to something to kick my middle-aged butt in gear???

Lisa L said...

I think I'm in love with my dentist. He is perfectly adorable! And I relate to the exercise thing.. I have at least 10 exercise videos...every time they say "breathe in" I feel I need to breathe out..go figure... I need all the oxygen I can get....I need to breathe when I need to breathe...not when 'they' say I have too...

Pam Doughty said...

Good gracious... gynecologist, test monitor, pilates, AND dentist... even taking the pilates out, you would STILL have a trifecta of uncomfortable experiences there. I'd have to know your OB-GYN, the class, your trainer, and the dentist to totally nail it down, but I'd say it ALL sucked. Sorry... :<(

heartshapedhedges said...

Um, here is my order, and Im thinking yours might be the same:

Worst: Hands down, Pilates.

helping in class (no matter how boring, watching cute kids beats medical stuff, and definitely is better than exercise.)

Anonymous said...

Your hint makes me think you hated the dentist part the most although I thought it would be the pilates class.

As for me, I would have equally hated the pilates class and the gyno. I'm fine with the dentist and the classroom, maybe because I've been many hours in both.


Anonymous said...

OMG!!! three years ago I was doing my second marathon, for the LLS, now I couldn't find my "core" muscles if you sent me a map! you are my queen!!!! Kristie, hon, you and I definitely need to get together and talk. oh and Diet Dr. Pepper RULES!
vickie(travis AFB CA)

Anonymous said...

My guess, the dentist. And my least favorite thing, the dentist! I will at least go to the Dr. once a year for the obligatory check up, but the Dentist...I always find an excuse not to go. "Oh I don't have anyoen to watch the kids for me." "I don't know a good one." etc.

Good luck!
Claire in TX

Grandma J said...

Dentist. Second choice, Dentist.

Anonymous said...

My guess is that you hated the dentist the most. For me it would be the gyno, with test-monitoring (which I did my share of when the kids were younger!)a VERY close second. I actually like going to the dentist. I go twice a year, and have for years! Enjoy your weekend!

Gayle in AL

Anonymous said...

I'm worried for you that you're going somewhere with the dentist story...hopefully that wasn't the worst part of your day. HOWEVER...the best advice ever from my dentist (who's also my neighbor and friend) - bring your Ipod. The more he works, the louder I turn up the music. And never hesitate to accept the gas if they'll let you have it. I practically fell asleep during a crown once - no kidding. Mainly, bring the Ipod. Good luck!

Sherri said...

I agree with those that say you seem to be hinting that the dentist was the worst. Your dislike of all things exercise is well documented in your blog however, so I'm going to guess the Pilates class was the worst part of the week. I know it would have been mine!

Sherri in NC

Mama Bear said...

Definitely the dentist.

Blood draws don't scare me. I'm a life long blood donor.

The boredom of testing is a reality all of us who work (or volunteer) in schools must take. Thank you Pres. Bush for leaving no child behind in testing while providing no funding for extra help for those children who need it.

The exercise sounds like fun, even if you can't breathe when you are supposed to.

Definitely the dentist. I dream about losing my teeth all the time!

Anonymous said...

I am interjecting some personal feelings here as I choose the Pilates as being your worst experience of the week. I dropped out after one class when I couldn't get the breathing thing down pat and the woman next to me expelled gas and I thought how easily that could happen to anyone of us in those awkward positions that were making us assume. No sir, no way was I going back and risking this ultimate embarassment!

Anonymous said...

Dentist for you.
all the above for me.

Anonymous said...


I can't think of anything worse. In fact, I would take a dozen peek-and-poke exams before ever signing up for Pilates!


Wendyk said...

Dentist, mine always wants to poke me with a needle and drill a hole in something!

Hopefully this next week is better!

Stefunkc said...

Oh I bet you'll find those CORE muscles when they start to hurt!

jadine said...

My guess is the pilates class, and that would be my least favorite, too. I bought some highly-touted pilates DVDs and couldn't get beyond the demonstration part. I. Can't. Do. Any. Of. It.

And just to let you know how much I hate pilates, I HATE (all-caps) going to the dentist.

I hope next week is better! :)

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you explained diaphragm. For a moment, I was quite shocked! (and laughing!) Am I the only one who went there???

BTW, I love the dentist. Love the feel of freshly, professionally cleaned teeth. So I'd guess the Pilates was the worst.

Pam in WV

Trish in Leesburg, VA said...

oh my! Could it be a tie between all of them? Or maybe the gyn wasn't so bad, just a blood draw. The hygenist sounds like some of the nurses I work with- how do they manage to function in the world?

Luann said...

I would rather have back surgery again than go to the dentist. ever.