Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Clicking in Return?

This second match meeting went much along the same lines as the first. Talking with the couple, the counselor leading the discussion about personal, intimate, awkward things, (Hello, my name is Kristie, when was your last period? Why can’t you have children? How do I feel about having some man who is not my husband watch as I push his baby out of my bagina?) and in general, simply getting acquainted. I was just as nervous, and can’t claim to have relaxed immediately, but there was definitely a much more “comfortable” vibe in this air this time. Of course, part of me worried I was confusing “comfortable” with “pheromones of desperation” and maybe they could sense my freakish nervousness and were just being polite ….. I don’t know, it *felt* like we were getting along well, but given my past experience, what did I know???

Again, the counselor recommended the four of us go eat a late lunch together, so we did. The moment I knew this was the couple for me was when she pulled out photographs of their family, home, dog, etc, and said, “I hope you don’t think this is presumptuous of me, but I’d love to show you some of our life.” They already had a son, and you could see how proud they were of him as they told us about him. They appeared to have a great relationship; caring, without fawning; teasing, without being mean. They had lived overseas and told us about that experience ….. they asked about the military, and seemed genuinely interested in our kids and our life …. simply put, Blaine and I really enjoyed our lunch with them. It felt more like a “getting to know our new friends” lunch than any kind of weird, interview-type-process.

Then, as we were saying our goodbyes (again, with the “no committing one way or the other until Monday morning” rule making the good-byes all weird and self-conscious) they pulled out a big sack with gifts in it. I just stood there, sort of perplexed, like, “Um, what is this for? Crap … was there some sort of White Elephant exchange that no–one told me about?” and she told me they were for our kids.

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that” was what came out of my mouth, when what was going through my head was “Shit! No one told me I was supposed to bring a present!!! Awkwardness! Awkwardness!”

“You gave up an entire Saturday” she replied, “and left your kids with friends, two weeks before Christmas, to fly half way across the country and meet us. I *know* this was an inconvenience and we just appreciate it so much, that we wanted to say thank you.”

OK, they’re friendly, funny, laid-back, open, NOT-anti-military --- AND they’re thoughtful as well???

You can understand why I called the counselor on the way to the airport and told her that YES, this was the couple for me, with no hesitation whatsoever this time, no need to wait until Monday to think it over.

PS. I hope all of you know that it wasn’t because of the gifts themselves …. It was because of the thoughtfulness behind the gifts. If they were that considerate of our time, and our own lives, at our very first meeting, I knew they were the kind of people that I would like to work with.

20 comments:

utahsweeney said...

YEY! Can't wait for the next entry!

Anonymous said...

Kristie,
I so enjoy your storytelling. Your details make me feel like I am right by your side feeling every one of your emotions. Thank you for continuing your surrogate story. This latest entry has left me feeling warm and fuzzy :) Whether it be the journey of your surrogacy,the cancer battles of your loved ones, or the mundane details of your daily life, your presentation is wonderful, entertaining, emotional, warm, honest and funny. Keep the posts coming!

Anonymous said...

Hi kristie,

I am so glad it didn't work out with the first couple. I really like this couple. I feel your excitement. What wonderful people. Do you stay intouch with any of your surrogacy couples? This couple sounds like someone that could be great friends with.

Hugs,
Machelle

Anonymous said...

Gee....I liked them almost immediately....the gifts were just a bonus! (and such a SWEET gesture!!) I would've picked them too!!

Pat in CA

Anonymous said...

I knew it! I just knew it! This one is going to have a happily ever after ending!

OK...carry on! We're all sitting on the edge of our seats!

Dixie

Dianna in Louisiana said...

Oh, I just LOVE this couple too Kristie.... just love them. I'm pms'ing, so if for some reason your next blog entry says that they decided not to use you as a surrogate, I'll probably bawl.

Trisha in Leesburg, VA said...

Oh! I think I love this couple too! :) How nice of them. Yep, warm and fuzzies all over! Oh, and for the record, I read the newsweek article and was not impressed. The picture they painted was so... well, not accurate!

The Running Girl said...

I love reading about this. Did you see that there is a movie coming out about surrogacy? I'm sure there will be a lot of inaccurate info in it, but it looks kind of funny.

hydrogeek said...

I'm so glad you're writing the rest of this story.

CAT said...

Hey Kristie,

Things just weren't meant to be the first time, and it gave you the opportunity with these awesome people! I love your story....

Have a great day!

Cathy

Tammy said...

Wow, they sound really nice, can't wait for the next entry, come on, you just love keeping us on the hook don't cha?

Anonymous said...

That brought tears to my eyes. They were so nice.

Karen
Mckinney,TX

Stacie from MN said...

Wow, I have goosebumps - they sound like genuine, kind people!
I can't wait to hear more!
Stacie
www.mommyinthemoment.blogspot.com

Marisa said...

I say ditto to all the other comments..

Stephanie D. said...

Oh man, I'm tingling and even a little teary-eyed. I am loving this story....thanks GF! Can't wait for the next chapter! :)

Anonymous said...

I like them too! That was extremely thoughtful of them to think of your kids! So glad you didn't give up on the surrogacy idea and didn't give up on telling us about your journey!!!
Diane in Cincinnati

Grandma J said...

I agree that this couple seem so perfect!

Looking forward to the rest of this story. You make it so interesting. You are writing a book I hope.

As in any situation, gifts never hurt....just saying.

Anonymous said...

hi I read your blog daily, and also read your caringbridge page also, and not to get off track but I remember you talking about you and Terry (julianna) starting some kind of page. I keep checking that page, but they haven't wrote since christmas time. Just wondering if you know how they are or if there is another page to follow them....btw thanks for the updates. you make me smile daily!

Mary said...

So glad to hear you're feeling better, Kristie! And, selfishly, so glad the story is continuing for us hanging onto the cliff!! :)

Mary

threehandprints said...

Love reading your story. Please don't make us wait like P-dub does with her story. Yours and hers...those are 2 of my favorite bloggers!