Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Vacation Conversations

The plan: Blaine wanted to bring his boat home, and try to get a little Oklahoma duck hunting in while on vacation. Him driving his pickup seemed like a good idea, since it also meant we would have ample space in the bed of the truck for luggage and Christmas presents, in both directions, and, we wouldn’t have to kennel the dog since he could ride with Blaine. But the truck isn’t comfortable for long-term travel for our family of five. So the decision was made that he would drive home, bringing both his boat and what seemed like half the contents of our house, and I would fly each way with the kids.

Day before leaving on vacation to OKC:

Kristie: “I feel bad for you, having to drive fifteen hours by yourself in the truck.”
Blaine: “I feel bad for YOU, having to manage three kids and five bags on two different flights, including a layover, before arriving in OKC nine hours later.”

Day after arriving in OKC on vacation:

Kristie: “You are so lucky that you got to be by yourself those whole fifteen hours and weren’t responsible for anyone but you, and could stop when and where you wanted and didn’t have to take three kids into the bathroom stall with you every time you needed to pee.”
Blaine: “YOU are so lucky that you didn’t have to ride fifteen never-ending, butt-numbing hours in the truck with no-one but a gassy, stinky dog for company.”

Day before leaving OKC to return home:

Kristie: “I’m so jealous of you that you get another fifteen hours of peace and quiet on your drive home tomorrow.”
Blaine: “I’m so jealous of YOU that by the time you arrive home, I will be lucky to be in Birmingham and will most likely have suffocated from the stench of our malodorous farting dog by then.”

In the OKC airport this morning:

Kristie, on cell phone: “Woo-hoo! We got bumped up to first class, all four of us! Who’s the lucky one now?????”
Blaine: “God, you suck”

In the plane on the way from Memphis to Atlanta:

Kristie, in her head: “What are the odds that after being on the FIRST row of first class on the previous plane, we’re now on the BACK row of this plane, which means our seats don’t recline because we are sitting directly in front of the bathrooms, good grief, even Lager doesn’t smell this bad, and the kids are pitching an absolute fit because they want to see out the windows and naturally the windows don’t open in this row because we are sitting next to the engines, which are louder than stampeding cattle, yet still somehow don’t manage to mask the deafening snoring of the man sitting next to me ……….. Blaine so sucks.”

12 comments:

Sharon said...

I SO look forward to your updates Kristie. You always leave me laughing!! sounds like you had a wonderful trip. Hope y'all all get settled back in at home and recover from your travels...3 kids, 5 bags and a connecting flight?!? You should get a medal!!!

Kathy in Alaska said...

OMG... There is proof again...
God givith and God taketh away !
I can't believe that you sat in the seats next to the bathrooms. There is not enough Purell on earth to disenfect that area. I don't know how you do it. Thank goodness you are back home and hopefully all the Escoes are snug as bugs in rugs tonight.

Jeri from Hawaii said...

Once again I nearly fell out of my chair laughing! The adventures of the Escoe family...the only one in the family to be totally oblivious to the suckiness of the situation is the dog.

Hope you all had a great vacation. I know the kids had a great time with their cousins, and it sounded like you had a pretty good time (minus the run in with the blind, stupid nurse) but did Blaine ever get in enough duck hunting to justify 30 hours on the road with a gassy dog?

Kristin Hicks said...

Glad you guys are home! Your trip home sounds funny. I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time. I can commiserate having just gotten done with 20 hours of travel in the car with my kids between here and Kentucky. Needless to say, it was a complete suckfest!

Hope you guys can recover from your travels quickly. Hope Blaine enjoyed the duck hunting!

Anonymous said...

I think I would have opted for the gassy dog. At least you didn't have that lovely businessman from last time beside of you.
Hope the duck hunting in Oklahoma is better than the duck hunting in North Carolina, because I have a whiney hunter on my hands these days. February can't get here soon enough for me.

Mesha in NC

Anonymous said...

Ewww, those seats in the last row stink. Bad enough wrangling three kids through the airports. I think I might have opted for the stinky dog. Glad you made it home safely.

Briana from Pflugerville said...

It's nice to get lucky and get bumped to first class (it's happened to me a couple of times), but it does suck sitting in the last row of the plane - especially on a smaller plane, and especially the day after a marathon (that happened to me last year coming home from the Disney marathon). This year, I'm traveling with my dad who is a platinum member and I'm hoping for first class again! We'll see what happens.

I'm glad you made it home safe and I hope Blaine is home safe by now as well. I hope you get some much needed rest. When do the kids go back to school?????

Tammy Deblaay said...

Kristi, I love your new site, you so frick'in crack me up girl, you and Blaine both, never a dull moment in the lives of the Escoe's! So, you survived the plane ride, and Blaine butt, a little flatter I bet! Have a super day! Glad to have those rugrats back at school?

Marci Connell said...

Kristie, Sounds like you had loads of fun. I know there isnt enough GERM X or earplugs to travel with all your chaos but I bet it is getting better at home. Love, Marci p.s we passed by your neck of the woods traveling to Macon for New Year! Sorry we missed you!

Rena' said...

Glad to hear you made it back home. Wish you had a longer stop in Memphis I would of came up there to see you.

Renee' said...

So glad you are all home!

Amy from St.Pete said...

Kristie,
Welcome home! We know the real reason Blaine drove, so you wouldn't have to fly together. After two weeks at home with all my kids I'm so ready for next Monday.
Love, Amy