Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Juke Box Heroes

When my children were given Wal-Mart gift cards for Christmas … well, you all know how I feel about shopping at Wal-Mart. So I thought I was being sneaky and very, very clever when I suggested Blaine take them shopping with their new cards, knowing he has infinitely more patience than I do. What I didn’t anticipate, perhaps to offset the patience, was his total lack of anything remotely resembling common sense.

How else do you explain that two of my children came home with these??



I mean, really, what on earth was he thinking???

So, I tried to be a good sport.

It was sort of cute, after all, in the beginning, that after they would practice outside, they wanted us to listen to their “songs”. It was sort of cute when they joined forces with the two little girls down the street, who have plastic mariachis, and decided to form a band. They let Brayden be the singer, and they named themselves “The Hurricane Kids”, which I still thought was cute, until Kendrie told they picked that name, “after Tyler’s dad, who is in Iraq right now, helping the people build their houses after the hurricane”. Now I’m a little worried about her grasp, or total lack therof, on current events.

But it was still cute, primarily because they made plans for music careers, and began designing their costumes, and discussed how they would travel by bus to their concerts. And it was cute how they kept flashing the rock and roll hand sign.



Which Kendrie can’t quite manage the pinky action.



And it was cute when they planned to put on shows for dogs. Because nobody appreciates a good guitar riff like the neighborhood schnauzer.



It was cute to watch them through the window, out on the driveway, with the radio playing in the garage, totally rock out. For the record, my children’s primary exposure to the world of adult contemporary music is my own personal love of 80’s big-hair arena bands. So the fact Kellen thinks Survivor’s "Vital Signs" is classic rock and roll, and that nobody rocks quite like the Scorpions, while unfortunate, is understandable.

But it QUIT BEING CUTE when the weather got cold and rainy here. Now they are “practicing” inside and I am forced to listen. Endlessly. To the “music”, which is a kind and generous term for the sounds coming out of these guitars. Are they even guitars? I’m not sure, they look a little like banjoes.

Regardless, after two days of cold weather, and countless hours of inside practice, I have decided they are not cute. They are the instruments of Satan.

The guitars; not the kids.

And I am charging my iPod as I type this. And will be eternally grateful for the earphones.

13 comments:

Pam Doughty said...

Yep, banjoes.. that's what I was thinking. Yippee.. a little rock n roll.. a little "Foggy Mountain Breakdown". Wait, did I say "breakdown"?? I think that's what you're gonna have if those things don't break down real soon! Bless your heart....

Chris Myrah said...

Oh, but Kristie! Here is the great thing about this entry! I seriously thought I was the only one to remember the greatest of great albums, Foreigner Four, and the classic Juke Box Hero!!! I am going to leave your site up for a while, minimized, so I can continue to enjoy the song playing over and over and over and over...Oh my god, I am completely lame...

kathy in Alaska said...

Look at the bright side... they could have bought drums !

Natalie said...

1. I am sending my kids and their two guitars (both of which were gifts from some relatives, I might add) to you for Spring Break. Unless you're coming here skiing and in that case, you have to leave the guitars at home.
2. Survivor was my first concert. Got a kiss from the lead singer. Now I feel grossed out about that.
3. I updated.

katy said...

It gets worse....my teenage son and his friends started a metal band in the basement under my bedroom. They saved money and bought $500.00 amps and big drum sets and lots of other big loud things. It's a good thing that I LOVE that boy.

Naidne said...

Yes, thanks be to God that there was not enough money on that Wally World card for an amplifier! And drums would have been much, MUCH worse! I'm sure your kids could make beautiful music with my 12-year-old neighbor, who got a drum set for Chrismtas that he keeps in the garage. Why do they build houses so close together these days???
~Naidne

Renee said...

Now Brayden has a back-up band for her Karaoke. All you need are some drums! And booze. Lots of booze.

Briana said...

You do exactly what I do when my kids get walmart gift cards - send them with the husband. I won't step foot in that store. Madison brought home a Bratz lip phone a couple of years ago. What was he thinking? It's still unplugged. Stay warm! We just had three days of below freezing temps and lots of ice on the road (even about 30 minutes of snow). The kids missed two days of school and are just heading back today.

kim said...

Here's what I want to know--WHAT IN THE WORLD DID YOU DO TO BLAINE? It had to have been something pretty egregious for him to have allowed this to happen--HAHA! I thought maybe their name was a little tip-of-the-cap to The Scorpions--yeah, baby, rock you like a hurricane--but it was even more impressive to hear what "The Hurricane Kids" were really honoring! I don't completely understand, but I'm SURE it's impressive--HAHA! I STILL love The Scorpions and can often be found at work, chair-dancing to the "Bad for Good-Very Best" CD. Not a pretty site, but necessary. It's impossible to listen to The Scorpions and stay still!

vanbinsbergen said...

I kinda like the sports themed banjo thingys...it suggests your well balanced approach to parenting. Unlike the fact that my son had now got an AC/DC backpack, beanie, tshirt and an electric guitar for Christmas...suggesting that our 8 year old, who refers to himself as "Angus" may be on the one track Highway to Hell. So, yeah. Fire up the iPod. Rascal Flatts can drown out Hells Bells any day. I feel your pain.

Kim said...

Hey Kristie! About the time my oldest was 4 and received a VERY loud firetruck from my husband's deaf cousins we banned anything noisy. Now that we have 5 kids we don't need anything noisy - they're good! :) Crank that iPod and groove on...

Kim

Anonymous said...

All we need to do now is add Davis into the group. He also got a guitar (a real one) Thanks to Keith's parents. I never knew how nerve racking a kid with a guitar could be.
Rena'

Jo said...

Actually...nobody does rock quite like the Scorpions...LOL