I want to thank all of you for your kind, concerned, and sometimes hysterically funny comments in the guestbook about this recent, um, what should we call it ….. “oddity” regarding Blaine’s recovery and health. I was going to go back in the comment section myself and comment on the comments, like I’ve started doing lately because quite frankly, it’s fun! And entertaining! And you guys crack me up! but there were just too many of you. I know, what a nice time-management problem to have!
Despite the fact it must appear I can’t keep my mouth shut about anything, the way I ramble on endlessly and seem to share every aspect of my life with the internet, let me reassure you that I do have *some* discretion. I don’t share everything, all the time, immediately, despite how unbelievable that must seem. Had I suspected, for one nanosecond, that something was truly wrong, I would have waited for test results to write about it. I just feel the need to clarify that, so no-one thinks I’m sitting here panicked. Or that Blaine is sitting here panicked. We’re slightly annoyed. We’re slightly bewildered. Personally, I’m very, very hungry because I started that #(*$&#(*& Atkins again and I’d pretty much kill for a piece of cornbread or cake right about now. But no, we are not panicked.
And also so the anonymous person who wrote to tell me I was the most conceited person on the planet to think I deserved a blog all about myself would know, well, so they would know “shut up, I deleted you and your stinky comment.” I share things as I see fit, and thanks to all of you for responding with kindness. And rib-splitting curse words. And the suggestion of a DDP machine in my stroke rehab village because I am SO putting that on my list of requirements! Right behind “cute male nurses who will wave me with palm fronds and feed me grapes.”
Two and a half days, and still no referral. No referral, no appointment. Given Blaine’s history, it’s a little frustrating, but Tricare is well-known for their mind-boggling, glacier-melting pace at times. Of course, many large-scale insurance companies move just as slowly, so I suspect Tricare is no worse than most. I’d love nothing more than to make a grand statement by sweeping into the imaging center and DEMANDING the cat scan this INSTANT, but they won’t see him without the authorization, so sweeping and demanding would only make me look silly. Add a feather boa and complete the picture.
Plus, I’ve promised never to complain about Tricare again, after receiving our most recent statement from Seattle in the mail, for $55,000 (hospital charges only) and being able to experience the unbelievable, awesome relief of knowing it would be paid, and not out of our pocket. Tricare might be slow and infuriating at times, but without a doubt, they have saved our family from bankruptcy not once, but twice. So, to all you taxpayers, thank you.
I’m sure the appointment will happen soon, and I’m sure things will be fine. I *am* kind of curious about what this lump could be, since my comments about watches and speculums were in jest. I mean … it’s not …. It couldn’t be …. you don’t think …. Do you? Naaaaahhhhh.
In the meantime, those of you who have followed along in Kendrie’s journal and are familiar with the writing project Terry and I have going, I have the next topic up for discussion there now. Please take a moment to visit, and even more please pretty pretty please with a cherry on top, e-mail me if you have experiences, advice, wisdom, or opinions you’d like to share.
In the meantime, I’ll be expanding my stroke facility list:
1. Cute male nurses
2. Diet Dr. Pepper machine
3. A dietician who has never heard the word Atkins.
Suggestions???
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26 comments:
How about an on-site, 24 hour Sonic?
Two words... karoke machine. :< )
(oh, wait.. one more word.. amaretto).
Umm, hello? High-speed internet (or whatever the latest technology might be at that point) so that you can keep blogging!
Certainly you'll need a 24 hour dessert bar...brownies, ice cream, etc. should be within easy reach at all times.
Big-ass scrapbooking area, Sonic ice, your camera, laptop, and phone.
Hang in there.
I'm thinking a spa. Like manicures and pedicures and massages. Oh and endless supplies of "papaya juice" and "string cheese."
I can't believe someone said you shouldn't be keeping a blog. Really, do they know that reading a blog is optional? Sheesh.
Anyway, I hope the process gets moving forward soon. It's about time that the health fairies come and visit Blaine!
Katie
New Orleans, LA
Your BFF (Just don't let your kids know yet that they'll be paying for you, Blaine and your BFF to enjoy your collective retirement...my BFF was hoping some rich folks in my family would pay for our senior care, but that doesn't look promising, so for now her DS is our best option.)
Debbie Eubanks
Oh yeah I was going to say massages and manicures whenever. I think the masseuse should be young and male.........wow I just googled masseuse to see how to spell it and you would not believe the freakin weird things you get with that one. A lot of them have the word vibrating in the first sentence. ANYWAY...good luck to Blaine and we all will be waiting to hear what that lump is.
How about laptops strategically suspended from the ceiling for those of us in the "too fat to move out of the bed" facility next door--this COULD also be useful in the stroke facility, so I'm not being completely selfish!
And some coffee to put Pam's amaretto in, before Karaoke--and also just because sometimes it tastes good if it's a little chilly for a DDP...give me time, I can think of many more. But this is good for now.
And, yeah. People who won't own what they write by signing their names, particularly when they're writing mean and nasty stuff, just DO NOT COUNT. So shut up, and I hope that anonymous getting arthritic fingers so they can't type. I am protective of my friends :)!
Love ya, Kristie, even if you're conceited--HA!
Kim from MN
Hey Kristie - I think your facility should have a self prescribing prescription unit...When you live (and love) someone who is very ill over a long time you get to know, medically, which pills and potions will work and which is a waste of the doctors ink on the prescription pad. Far easier to write it all yourself...and if you make the odd mistake - hey well so do the doctors. And I think you should name Blaines lump. We named Ronnie's 'Larry'...and on the days it really hurt we upgraded it to Lawrence. Life gives us all multiple opportunites to exhibit a sick sense of humour - and thank God for it! As its the weekend I'm guessing Blaine wont get anything done til next week, so please know that you're in my prayers and I'll be glued to your blog for the latest update...What news of Lager, is he still going strong?
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha....a ridiculous number of "ha-ha"s but its in response to reading about a dilrod/butthead who said you were too selfish or whatever for a blog....Hello dilrod what are you doing reading it???????? I actually find you to be quite a nonselfish person sharing your life the way you do...a little bummed you use discretion...but thanks for ALWAYS lightening my day, making me think about how precious life is... whatever...you're way cheaper than a therapist and way more effective. I wish you were my friend! You're way cool. :)
My husband has a shoulder "lump," too, but it's from jettisoning himself over the handlebars of his bike when "something" caught his eye and distracted him, and he separated his shoulder. (Local lore is it was a chipmunk...) Anyway, after one of my hotter friends (bitch! I love her though...) told him she thought it was "so sexy," he named it after her (middle name to be subtle), Helen. Onlyto be even MORE subtle, he named it Helena. As in MOUNT Helena. Yeah, the mountain on his shoulder is named Helena. So.
Haha. I was going to say Sonic Ice! Yum.
I don't have any experience in the cancer arena, but I have enjoyed reading your blog, and Kendrie's site for a long time.
My son had a liver transplant when he was three months old, and had a few post-op complications, so I'm no stranger to hospitals and those heart-stopping moments of terror.
Love reading your blog!!
Oh Lord, I wish I was as considerate as you about Tricare, but they now have Austin living in a whole different state than the rest of us. This after they had him living on base in the TLF for the majority of the time we were in VA. Here's hoping they get a move on and get that thing checked out. By the way, my sister's bunion is named "Paul Goiter."
~Lisa
I think you need a personal secretary in your stroke rehab center. You could just dictate your blog entries leaving your hands free for a glass of papaya juice and some string cheese. This would be essential because you are so important to all of us devoted readers and we need you to continue to blog. I guess this comment makes me extra conceited because I'm so self centered that I think I'm important enough for you to continue to blog for my pleasure even if in stroke rehab. Oh well, anonymous can KISS MY ASS!
Kristie,
I'm also back on the no-freaking-carb diet and dreaming of chocolate and buttered bread and french fries and baked potatos.... but I digress. I've been told by a dear friend (in a loving, non-judgemental way of course), that being on the Atkins diet makes me cranky. I thought about this for awhile and then commented back to this person, also in a loving, non-judgemental way of course, "BITE ME, BITCH." I think I made my point, don't you?
In any case, still thinking about you guys and hoping this lump or whatever it is turns out to be nothing to spend time worrying over. You've got enough other stuff to worry about already!
Sherri in NC
A staff of women who are on duty 24/7 with tweezers, nair, and wax to take care of the whole excess hair thing. Those good mirrors that make your tushie look about 17 sizes smaller, and excellent lighting to make the rest of the body look good.
Oh! A staff who is dedicated to keeping roots from hanging out and making people know that we are not perhaps as naturally blonde/red/brown as one would normally think!
God, what is it with people? Why are they reading the blog if they don't like it? Why don't they get their boring, pain in the ass self out in the world to do something good, and stop wasting our time writing nasty comments in my favorite blog... Oh, sorry about that... I'm just so sick of those type of people. It amazes me the assholes out there .. my friend is constantly deleting negative comments from her Caringbridge site about her SICK CHILD... Can't even imagine what sort of lives these people have that they spend their time that way...
OOPs... that went on too long.. sorry. I've loved you since I first found Kendries site, and look forward to your updates.. laugh with you, cry with you, lurk unashamedly.. Keep on blogging, and thanks for updating about Blaine.. all joking aside, he's in my prayers. I think you're right, tho, the way it popped up it's most likely a harmless cyst. I had a lovely abdominal one that turned into a spewing volcano when it came to a head.. We named it Pedro (which my surgeon thought was a little weird)..
God bless...
Mary from Albany NY
Kristie, First off if anonymous thinks you shouldn't be keeping a blog, maybe, just maybe, she needs to go suck on a big fat wet rope..That'll keep her to busy to write rude coments, at least till she swallows it or chokes on it. Some great looking guys in thongs are a must.:) Oh heck, forget the thongs, bare butt cheeks baby, bare butt cheeks. Love your blog and of course, still following Kendrie's.:) BLOG ON!!!
Oh man!
I am still trying to get use to this "blogger" thingy and posted a comment to the wrong post! (my bad)
I must be one of those computerly-challenged folks!
Sending prayers and hugs for Blaine, so glad to read that Kendrie's clinic visit was supergreat, and "phooey" on anyone that makes such a crazy comment that you should not be keeping your own 'blog'!
That is just a selfish comment.
As for your retirement retreat, be sure it has wireless laptops with 'speaking' software so you no longer would have to worry about typing!
Can you just imagine!
Something that can type as fast as we can speak!
I LOVE IT!!!
See you guys soon..........regina
Hi Kristie- I'm a fellow Okie (although not displaced) sitting in the alternate universe where Tulsa is covered in at least 2 inches of ice. I'm not sure when Tulsa became part of the northeast, but the thought of having to stay in my house makes me want to leave it. Anyway, I've emailed you a time or 2 over the last 2 years, and your sense of humor is amazing. This morning I was thinking of your first post about how the name of your blog "not quite what I had planned" and the fact that it seems somewhat prophetic right now. My streak of health issues doesn't rival yours, but be thankful yours aren't nearly as stupid or embarrassing as mine. When it comes to me, my complete lack of grace is notorious. For example I was in OK City last year for a Oklahoma Genetic Advisory Council and I shut my head in a fellow member's car door. Since I'd driven all the way there I was bound and determined to go to the meeting, so I sat there with my poor ear needing stitches and holding paper towels to stop the bleeding. Afterwards all of the nurses, doctors and geneticists came up to me and laughed at my head. *Sigh* I have another meeting next week and I'm sure everyone will remember me, the crazy lady who had to get stitches because of an errant car door. I also once missed the bottom step of my stairs in the middle of the night and broke both bones in my lower leg. My husband yelled at me to be quiet because I was going to wake the kids and he made me crawl up the stairs. Granted I do fall all the time and rarely seriously injure myself, but I can now remind him for the rest of our lives about how he made me climb the stairs with my broken leg. This really wasn't supposed to be all about me (hey! maybe I need my own blog). I just wanted to say your sense of humor is fantastic and I personally think you should have at least THREE blogs just about you! You rock!!!
Jennifer from Tulsa
Blaine is becoming a bit of an over-achiever in terms of these medical mysteries. But I always have time to keep you in my prayers. Lord knows we can't have your head splodin'.
No massages or manicures, either.. no touching allowed without explicit permission! Hmmm.. perhaps another item on the list should be those lovely microfiber fuzzy warm socks... stacks of them! Oh, and heated towels, blankies, and p.j.s... "just out of the dryer" warm whenever you need them! And a programmable radio that lets you choose exactly what song you want to hear when you want to hear it, out of an endless playlist... Hey..sign me up for this place NOW!
I agree with NO PEDICURES. I can't stand people touching my feet at all. I do think a massage would come in handy at times. 24 hour Open bar would be a welcome sign to see.
I would so pay for your blog!!
TSO concerts nightly
Unlimited Thin Mints, Fudge Icing, gingerbread men, turtles, hershey kisses,DDP (of course)and anything made with white flour or sugar. Oh, also extra hair straighters on hand, just in case. (Preferably CHI)
And...a policy banning ignorant comments and requiring everyone to wear socks and tennis shoes at all times.
Does that cover everything??? I'm sure I'm leaving something out.
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