Friday, January 05, 2007

Going Blind

Blaine bought me a new computer monitor for Christmas. Not just any monitor, but a 19 inch, flat-panel monitor. 19 inches. That’s bigger than our first TV.

I’m not really sure why he bought it. I didn’t ask for it, and there was nothing wrong with our old monitor. We’re certainly not “techie” people --- we don’t buy products every time a newer version comes out. We don’t own a laptop, or a PDA, our cell phones don’t take pictures, and I happen to be perfectly happy with my 1983 dual-deck Sony boom-box that weighs approximately 52 pounds and could double as a paper weight.

For the Library of Congress.

ALL of the Library of Congress.

But regardless of our lack of appreciation for modern technological marvels, Blaine knows I spend a few quick moments each day online (ahem) and thought I would enjoy a crisper, clearer, sharper, immensely BIGGER, flatter screen. So it was a thoughtful gift, and I appreciate it.

Of course, he also bought me a new bathrobe and slippers, so what does that say about the spark of romance in our marriage? Whatever.

But I think I must be going blind.

My mom got cataract surgery last week while I was in OKC, and afterwards she kept commenting on how she didn’t realize how much she *couldn’t* see, until suddenly she *could*. For days afterwards, she was frenetically cleaning her kitchen, mumbling about how she never realized how dirty it was and how mortified she was to be living in such filth. I’m not sure what that says about Blaine and me, because we thought her kitchen was perfectly clean. But nonetheless, she suddenly could see, and she was horrified. I wonder if that’s what’s happening to me now.

This screen, my God, it’s like sitting in an Imax theater. I’m squinting, and then opening my eyes really wide, and then squinting some more because the images and letters on the screen are HUGE and seem a little 3-d-ish. Like they’re all about to jump right off the screen into my face. I’ve already gone in and reduced the font settings, and lowered both the contrast and the brightness, and changed the display colors to a soothing olive green color because looking at the default blue of Microsoft was like looking into the deep end of a very psychedelic ocean.

Is it the flat panel? Is it the 19 inches? Like my mom’s kitchen, was my old screen dirty and I just didn’t realize it? Does anyone know? (Although seriously, her kitchen was fine. I don’t even know what’s she babbling about.)

I really don’t think it’s my eyes because I had lasik four years ago and damnit, I see perfectly. I can see street signs, I can see menus, I can see the blackboard in class without any problem. Most importantly, I can see the words on a karaoke screen at ten alcohol-hazed feet, which is crucial for my plans this upcoming weekend. I can see well enough to shoot the spots off the fleas off a dog’s back at a hundred yards. Well, if I owned a gun. Or my stinky dog had fleas. Which he doesn’t.

But I really think my eyes are fine.

Why the heck is this screen so hard for me to see? It’s not crisper, or clearer, or sharper. Yes, it’s bigger, but I’m not so sure this isn’t the one time that’s not a good thing.

The good news is the flat panel screen means I now have more space on my computer desk.

The bad news is that means more of the desk is now exposed and I can see the years-old piles of dust in the corners that were hidden before.

The good news is it probably doesn’t matter about the dust, since I’m going blind anyway.

The even more good news is if the dust *does* start to bother me, Blaine also bought me a can of compressed air for Christmas.

Hmmmm. Let's review.

Computer monitor.
Bathrobe.
Slippers.
Compressed air.

The bad news is my husband obviously thinks I am 70 years old. So, when he buys me reading glasses next, things will actually, probably, be better.

11 comments:

tammy said...

OMG, Kristie, Jim did the SAME thing! I even blogged it, I alost spewed my dr pepper when i read that. I also was PERFECTLY fine with my old monitor....good God how big of a monitor do we need?!

*sigh* you lucky girl, YOU got conpressed air, i didn't :( LOL

Anna in IL said...

You *are* a lucky girl. I got a shredder. Which is conveniently located in my husband's office. I may swoon from the romance of it all.

Anonymous said...

I know what you mean Kristie - I can't deal with huge TV's - but it was a very thoughtful gift. I notice you've mentioned Lager in the last few blogs - great to know the old man is still plodding - there's nothing quite so soppy as the love you get from an old, tired dog. Love and prayers to you all.

Michelle Adams said...

Morning Kristie, Just thought I'd drop you a line to tell you how much I enjoy reading your daily blog. As soon as I get to work and settle down with my coffee I open it up... hmmmm, maybe I'm addicted too. I have 2 girls, 16 and 17. My oldest daughters friend just found out yesterday that he had Hodgkins Lymphoma. He will turn 21 on the 15th. It's so hard to see their hearts break. My father died while having a BMT, and we've had several others in our family with cancer. Just wanted to tell you to keep up the great job, you're really funny!!!! We are heading to Snellville from Selma, Al. this weekend to visit my sister n law. Hope you have a great weekend :)

Renee' said...

That Blaine is a romantic. Love the pressed air.

I have that same boom box. The cassette players don't work but I still can't give it up.

Anonymous said...

I have a 19inch flat screen too, Krstie. It was really hard to get used to at first....I can totally relate to the squinting and then opening really wide and squinting again! :D It's not like that anymore, so either I've gone partially blind to compensate for all the squinting or I just got used to it. :)

Thank you for the reactivation--I thought the list was being REALLY quiet lately...

I'd be happy to help you photoshop wise anyway I can. I could even make you a banner if you'd rather. :)

Anonymous said...

My laptop screen is 18 inches, and I had problems seeing when i first got it. Try adjusting the screen resolution, that might help a bit. or try making the font bigger. I had to do that too, lol.

Compressed air, you lucky!!! I just ran out of mine...time for a walmart trip i s'pose. :o

Anonymous said...

Hi Kristie,
im so pleased you started a blog! I have been following your caringbridge site and love your style of writing. Im very happy its going great with Kendrie , and thumbing here in Amsterdam for Blaine.

btw. i also setting into work, run through my emails and then log into your site to see if there is a new update,

write a book !

okie im off,
cisca from Amsterdam

Tracey said...

Two of my lovely gifts from Steve were a new deep frying pan (granted, I needed a new one!) and a 'personal groomer' (I got him one too, LMAO!). Tres romantique, eh?

Kari said...

When I first got my 19" flat screen I was unhappy with the resolution too. Someone told me to check the display settings. Under Display, then Appearance, then Effects they told me to select Clear Type rather than standard and Fade effect rather than scroll and that made a big difference for my monitor

jadine said...

Hey girlie. I'm guessing you already know about this, but do you know about ClearType? It may help; I dunno. http://tinyurl.com/6e3cc

I like it.