Thursday, May 14, 2009

Painting Lessons Day One

1. If you are resigned to painting a room in the upstairs part of your house, make sure you have all your supplies before starting. Otherwise you will find yourself running back downstairs to grab a towel, then back upstairs. Then back downstairs for the little paint-can-opener-thing. Then back upstairs. Then back downstairs for the headphones to your ipod because you don't expect me to do this without music, do you? Then back upstairs. Then back downstairs for a Diet Dr. Pepper because all this running up and down the stairs has made you thirsty.

2. Before you begin any painting project, make sure the brushes you purchased for your *last* painting project are still good. If the bristles are so stiff that its like painting with a brick, you will need to buy a new brush, and should probably do that ahead of time.

3. When you go to Home Depot for a new brush, wearing sweat pants with a hole in the knee, a ratty t-shirt, and no makeup, try not to make eye contact with anyone lest they recognize you. Mumble a lot about primer and painters tape and caulk and if you're lucky, maybe people will assume you are actually a professional painter and your crappy clothes are your work uniform.

4. When you go to Home Depot for a new brush, make sure you buy the right kind.

5. When you go back to Home Depot for a new brush, return home promptly. Do NOT run any additional errands, or stop for breakfast, or call friends -- otherwise you will return home and realize it is already mid-morning and you haven't accomplished a damn thing. And then you will begin to seriously wonder about the possibility of adult-onset A.D. --- oooh, look, something shiny!

6. You know that fabulous, brand-new bedroom furniture you bought your children a few months ago? Made of real wood, and weighing approximately three thousand pounds? You really should have painted the walls *BEFORE* you had the furniture placed in the room, and attached to the walls, you moron.

7. Never buy a two-story house.

8. Open your wallet, let the moths fly out, and call a damn professional.


RSMDianne said...

Oh I would have called the professionals when I realized I didn't have a working brush. Seriously, we had our master bedroom and bathroom painted 2 months ago. It's a huge room that I had painted navy blue, oh, 9-10 years ago. And we were going with a lightish beigey color, can you say 3 coats of paint? And the master bathroom was sponge painted with an oil based glaze, 11 years ago, that had yellowed. Oh and did I mention the wallpaper border *very* firmly glued to the above mentioned oil-based glaze? It would have taken me weeks, lots of cursing, sore arms, and more cursing. It took 2 professional painters 10 hours in a single day to do both rooms and it looks fabulous. $950, including paint and supplies was so worth it. You did the right thing by calling in the painters :-)

Kristie said...

RSMDianne, I didn't call professionals .... (yet) ... but considering how bad I am at this, I probably should have!! :)

M said...

Just the thought of painting anything other than in kindergarten makes me scream and fast as I can. The past 2 months I have painted 26 rooms...when counting primer and 2 coats...and I am still not done...but I am running!

Thought I would paint our bedroom before my party...4 damned colors later we finally have one we sort of like...and that's staying whether we like it or not!

...and yes ditto on the 2 story thing...NEVER AGAIN!

Renee said...

I had NO IDEA how physical painting was until we moved here and Papa and I spent a weeking (*&%^%& painting. I remember **someone** making a comment about "poor Keith" being away from his family - oh, sure, yeah, Poor Keith my ass was sitting in an air conditioned office doing very light duty work. UGH! You'll love it when it's done.

Haley said...

What happened to your cheerful mood on facebook this morning? :)

I'm babysitting this week in a 3 story house...damn stairs. They are killing me! So, I totally understand your pain with the upstairs/downstairs/upstairs/downstairs angst.

Better luck tomorrow!

Alisa said...

My mom's favorite part of painting is the cutting in. She loves it. I just like the rolling. I love love love, slapping that roller full of paint on the wall and rolling away.
Maybe I should stop by tomorrow and paint for a bit- I kind of think its therapeutic when its not your own house. I don't like painting with kids though. I have too many stories of one child or another helping while I am not looking.

Leece said...

Hi Kristie, just wondering how blaine is getting on. Love and praryers,

René S said...

You're going to do great - now that you have all your stuff! Keep thinking about how much happier you will be when you are done, it looks great and you know you did it without killing a single creature in your home. It always does seem to take a lot longer than it should! Good luck.

Anonymous said...

...sounds so much like my painting venture last and this month...and no telling when the nightmare will be over!!!!

Anne in GA

Amy said...

LOL! A painting fiasco is what got my blog started. Save yourself the time and energy and call the painter today.

Cathy said...

Been there, done that... and I fall for the "oh look something shiny too" I wonder where all of my productive time goes.

Can't wait to see pictures of the finished room.

When our oldest moved out our middle wanted her room. Boy moving into gir's room. I thought we would have to paint (the walls are a creamy tan but you could say yellow in the right light). Guess what middle child didn't care - just wanted the bigger room in the basement and was happy. I too was happy, no painting :)