1. If you are resigned to painting a room in the upstairs part of your house, make sure you have all your supplies before starting. Otherwise you will find yourself running back downstairs to grab a towel, then back upstairs. Then back downstairs for the little paint-can-opener-thing. Then back upstairs. Then back downstairs for the headphones to your ipod because you don't expect me to do this without music, do you? Then back upstairs. Then back downstairs for a Diet Dr. Pepper because all this running up and down the stairs has made you thirsty.
2. Before you begin any painting project, make sure the brushes you purchased for your *last* painting project are still good. If the bristles are so stiff that its like painting with a brick, you will need to buy a new brush, and should probably do that ahead of time.
3. When you go to Home Depot for a new brush, wearing sweat pants with a hole in the knee, a ratty t-shirt, and no makeup, try not to make eye contact with anyone lest they recognize you. Mumble a lot about primer and painters tape and caulk and if you're lucky, maybe people will assume you are actually a professional painter and your crappy clothes are your work uniform.
4. When you go to Home Depot for a new brush, make sure you buy the right kind.
5. When you go back to Home Depot for a new brush, return home promptly. Do NOT run any additional errands, or stop for breakfast, or call friends -- otherwise you will return home and realize it is already mid-morning and you haven't accomplished a damn thing. And then you will begin to seriously wonder about the possibility of adult-onset A.D. --- oooh, look, something shiny!
6. You know that fabulous, brand-new bedroom furniture you bought your children a few months ago? Made of real wood, and weighing approximately three thousand pounds? You really should have painted the walls *BEFORE* you had the furniture placed in the room, and attached to the walls, you moron.
7. Never buy a two-story house.
8. Open your wallet, let the moths fly out, and call a damn professional.