Saturday, May 03, 2008

What's Next?

During the six months between when I met my couple and we actually had the transfer, not only had we been busy with contracts and screenings and mock cycles, but I had also attended two more surrogate support group weekends in Maryland. I really enjoyed these getaways, and the opportunity to meet with other girls --- some of whom had already completed a surrogate journey and could mentor me through the process, and some who were peers, going through the process at the same time as me. (Hi, Deb!!)

You might remember that when I first received my initial application for the surrogate agency in June of 2000, I predicted that by June of 2001, I would have delivered the baby and made a new family. Um, yeah. *THAT* plan wasn’t going so well, was it? That requisite year had gone by, and I had instead recently received the disappointing news that I wasn’t even pregnant yet. A YEAR people, and I wasn’t pregnant. My own infertility saga was beginning to flash before my eyes again.

About then, I attended one of our support weekends and heard the tale of another surrogate, who had been going through the process slightly ahead of me. She had also done the matching, the contracts, the screening, the mock cycle, the transfer ----(breath holding and finger crossing) ----- and gotten a negative result. At that point, however, the couple she was working with told her they were through …. Done …. Finished. They just didn’t have it in them to try again, so she was going to have to start over from scratch with a whole new set of IP’s. I dreaded that for her, because I only too freshly knew how much work that was; all that STUFF that has to be done after you meet a couple before you can make it to the point of transfer.

Suddenly, it occurred to me: what if my couple said the same thing after this recent failure of ours? I got sort of a sick feeling in my stomach, realizing that just because I was gung-ho to try again, didn’t necessarily mean my couple felt the same way. Good grief, please don’t tell me I’m going to have to go through a THIRD match meeting!

Luckily for me, my couple was not only game for another attempt, but eager, so we began planning to cycle again as soon as we could.


Marisa said...

I wish I had your will to try and try again. I am not always a quitter but I did quit girl scouts, dance lessons, guitar lessons and piano lessons as a kid. You are amazing. I vote you Kristie and Woman of the Year !!!

Dianna in Louisiana said...

Again, Kristie, I am SO, SO, SO loving this couple....... I agree with the previous poster who said that you should just get someone to do your chores so you can just write and write. I really can't wait to read about how excited you and your couple were to get a +++++++++ and even more so when you delivered.

P.S. I saw a promo for a show that CNN is doing on amazing mothers...... I immediately thought of you!

Jacquie said...

What an amazing story Kristie, thanks for sharing so much. I'm getting all stressed out waiting for you to conceive for this couple. Knowing how many times you've been a successful surrogate makes it a little easier on me (it's all about ME, right?), but I've gone through that gut wrenching 2WW many times with nothing to show for it before and in between my own two kids' births, and I know so well that feeling up pulling up your boot straps and getting back on track. I admire your tenacity in maintaining your commitment and your resolve. Now I'm really keeping my fingers crossed that the next cycle works. Go embryo, go!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing this experience. I am in awe of you! You are an amazing Mom!!