Saturday, May 10, 2008

Round Two -- the Waiting

At this stage in the game, we were unpacked and getting settled into our new home in Alabama. I have to admit, though, that the kids and I were having a bit of trouble feeling at home. Did you know? It is FREAKING HOT in Alabama in August. I had the kids enrolled in a Mother’s Day Out program, and had a playgroup lined up, but those things wouldn’t begin until after Labor Day. In the meantime, we hadn’t met any new friends yet, so we just sat in our air-conditioned living room and looked at one another. (Hot, I’m telling you, melt into a little puddle on the sidewalk kind of hot, and there was no way to go outside and entertain ourselves. When it’s too hot to go swimming? That is stinking hot!!!) The kids were one, three and four years old, and we never left the house – just how many games of Candy Land could I be expected to play? How many episodes of Bear in the Big Blue House could I watch before my brains oozed out of my ears?

So, homesick for our friends and Mother’s Group back in Ohio, I loaded the kids up in the van, gave Blaine a kiss goodbye, and took off for a week’s impromptu vacation. We stayed with my girlfriend Kim, who of course knew about the surrogacy and knew that I was in the middle of the dreaded two week wait.

I had done a home pregnancy test five days after the transfer and it was negative. I was trying really hard not to be pessimistic in my thinking …. But I was already worried this would be a repeat of our previous failed cycle.

I had brought one more home pregnancy test with me on the trip, and was able to contain myself only until day eight. I took the test mid-afternoon, and had convinced myself that even if it were negative – again -- that I was still testing too early, and it wasn’t concentrated urine, and perhaps the moon of Venus was not in alignment with the star from Uganda, or whatever, so not to be too disappointed.

All those years I was trying to get pregnant, I never, EVER, had a home pregnancy test turn positive, so as I waited there in Kim’s bathroom, I wasn’t even sure what I was looking for. I was sitting on the lid of the toilet, holding this stick in my hand, watching for a pink line, expecting nothing, when all of a sudden a faint, thin line began to appear. I started squinting, and turning the stick this way and that, holding it up to the light. The line did not look like the “pregnant” example on the box, but there was definitely something there. Oh, geez, was it defective???

I went running downstairs and made my girlfriend look at it (that’s a true measure of friendship, isn’t it, that she didn’t reflexively jerk away in disgust when I shoved a stick I had just URINATED ON right under her nose???) She kept saying, “I think you’re pregnant!” but I couldn’t be sure. It just didn’t feel right to get too excited this early. So I waited 24 hours, took another test, and hot damn if that line wasn’t back, and darker!

I was thrilled, and terrified at the same time that it might be a mistake. The first person I called was Blaine, to tell him what I hoped was great news, and ask his opinion about whether or not I should call the IP’s. At first he said no, it was still too early and we shouldn’t get their hopes up, in case it was wrong. Plus, my counselor was very clear to discourage me from telling them the results. Not to be all negative Nancy, but positive home tests don't always equal a viable pregnancy. But, then, Blaine reconsidered and said this news was too exciting to keep to ourselves, but make sure they understood it was ONLY a home test.

So I immediately called my IM at home, with butterflies in my stomach. She didn’t answer, and I remembered that they were going out to dinner that night with family. I thought that surrounded by family, this would either be a great time, or a lousy time, to tell them. Again, not having the stamina to keep news like this to myself, I hoped for the first option and called her on her cell.

22 comments:

M, Ms. R, Mom, Auntie M, Marey said...

I am so excited just reading your blog! Thanks for sharing...and Happy Mother's Day!

notthemonster3 said...

ack! cliffhanger! i can't take the suspense!
your blog is fantastic. i love your surrogacy story & look forward to each new one.
happy mother's day!

lynne said...

Happy Mother's Day! And I'm thinking of the women you helped become mothers too.

Denise Tidwell said...

Happy Mama's Day! The suspense is killing me! Hurry up and post again...

Tricia said...

It's so serendipitous that I stumbled onto your site this morning, Mother's Day. The only reason I get to celebrate being a mom is because of an amazing woman (my best friend since childhood) who is my son's surrogate mother. If there weren't women with hearts like hers and yours, women like me would continue to spend this day hopeless and broken hearted. Thank you for helping someone to take the "I" out of "IM". Happy Mother's Day!

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful story for Mothers Day!!! Have a GREAT day!!!

Meg from Ga

Grandma J said...

That was one great Mother's Day entry. I hope today is just as exciting! Happy Mother's Day.

Beth said...

As much as I love, love, love this surrogacy story, it's HARD to read it in installments!! (Didn't Dickens write in installments? So you're in good company!)

Happy Mother's Day to a woman who is not only a wonderful mother, but to a woman who has given the joy of motherhood to others! Because of you other women can wake up this morning and have people wish *them* a Happy Mother's Day!

Jeanne said...

I have goose bumps! I am so glad you saved this post for this weekend. I can't wait to hear what happens when you called her. What a incredible woman you are! I hope you have an equally incredible mother's day today.

Brandi from NC said...

Happy Mothers Day!!

Now stop keeping us in suspense!! You're killin me here girl! LOL!!

Anonymous said...

I love following this story!

--Laura

Anonymous said...

Sending huge Mother's Day wishes to one of my favorite moms!

Dixie

Anonymous said...

Happy Mother's Day to you, Kristie, and to all the wonderful moms who are faithful readers of this great site!!

Mary

Anonymous said...

Did she answer the phone? I can't stand the suspense!

Love your Stories Kristie!

Claire in TX

trish in leesburg, va said...

happy mothers day kristie!

Amy said...

Happy Mothers Day!!

Now that I said that good Lord, hurry up and finish it! It's like watching a tv show and it's the season finale and you just can't stand waiting until next season to find out what happens!

Anonymous said...

GEEEZZZZ! You could have gave us the "oh, hi IM, Just wanted to tell you that I took two home preg. tests and both were positive". For pete's sake Kristie, it IS Mother's Day today!! Don't leave us a cliffhanger. Ugghh! I probably won't be able to sleep all night now. I want to know what she said or if she said anything to her entire family.
No, just kidding about all that. Really, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY.
Wendy in Winder, GA

Haley said...

Oh, the cliffhangers! You tease me so! I hope that you had a wonderful Mom's day. I also hope that you and all of your friends in the Macon area are okay in the aftermath of today's storms. So scary!

Anonymous said...

Hi Kristie,

Two things:

1. Happy Mother's Day!
2. I am so into this story... almost cried with the pink line appearing!

Enya
Cape Cod, MA

Anonymous said...

Wow. Can't wait to hear the rest of the story. Leaving you feeling warm fuzzies!....

Anonymous said...

You are cruel!!!!!

I can't believe you left us hanging there! ;-) Ok, I can...but what an ending!! Hee, hee!

I would love to know how much your site counter goes nuts at times like this when you leave us hanging. I'd be surprised it doesn't go crazy from overuse!

Happy Mother's Day!
Lisa in San Diego

Becca said...

Oh, YAY! I'm hoping you were pregnant! (that's a weird sentence).

Happy Mother's Day to you! What an incredible mom--you not only made yourself a mom, but helped several other moms become moms. I think you get extra presents.