Tuesday, March 20, 2007

I'm So Important

Flying is always an interesting activity for me. Although I don’t relish hurtling through the air in a metal tube at several hundred miles an hour, and usually spend much of the flight mentally preparing myself for a fiery/watery/quick/prolonged death, and suffering the guilt of leaving my children mother-less so I can enjoy a weekend with my girlfriends, I still take some pleasure in the business of flying. Mainly, because there is a Cinnabon in the airport, but also, I enjoy seeing the other passengers, and wondering what they’re up to. Are they flying on business? Pleasure? Vacation? Students? Military? Blaine often accuses me of staring in public. I prefer the term “People-Watching”. It sounds much less nosy, don’t you think?

What my People-Watching led me to believe this weekend, however, is the realization that I am not very important. In fact, at first glance, it appeared everyone on the planet was more important than me. A few examples:

When I fly out of Atlanta, I park in the long-term parking and take a shuttle to the terminal. The shuttle browses around the parking lot picking people up, then makes the three-minute drive to the passenger drop-off area. For the entire drive on Thursday, we had to listen to a middle-aged man harangue his mother about how the ten dollars she would save by parking in long-term parking wasn’t worth the time he was wasting driving around in a shuttle. Which led me to believe, he must be very, very important, if he doesn’t have three minutes to waste. Maybe a Congressman, or a Senator, or even the guy who makes sure the Milk Duds are evenly covered with chocolate. Although judging from his Hawaiian shirt, ponytail, and sandals, I don’t think he was a high-powered businessman on his way to a Wall Street power meeting, so maybe the Milk Dud scenario was more likely, but still; He must have been very, very important, based on his comments.

Then I got to my gate, and started People-Watching the others around me. And realized all of them were more important than me, also. That girl over there was wearing her pajamas and slippers. She must be very, very important that she didn’t even have time to put on pants or real shoes that morning. And that couple over there, in the matching argyle (and did I mention fugly?) sweaters, they must be very important as well, or they wouldn’t be dressed like the Bobbsey twins with bad facelifts, refusing to move their expensive leather carry-ons so I could step around them.

And that guy over there must be extremely important, as well, judging by the excessive techno-paraphernalia he had going on. A cell phone, a pager, and what appeared to be a Blackberry on his belt, an ipod around his neck, one of those hands-free cell phone things in his ear, and his laptop open. He was talking and typing and texting at the same time. Just how accessible is necessary? Did he think Donald Trump might call for real estate advice, and he absolutely must be available? If his co-workers need that many ways of getting ahold of him, think how important he must be! Although, I’m not so sure he was on business trip, either, considering he was wearing a t-shirt, cargo shorts, and hadn’t seen the wet end of a comb or a razor in quite some time. There I sat --- lame, boring …. With a book. A BOOK, of all things! How unimportant can I be??

Obviously the grandma who cut in front of me in our boarding line must be very important. Perhaps she thought if she sat down before me, her section of the airplane might take off and land more quickly. And the lady sitting next to me, complaining about how she couldn’t find an outlet to plug in her laptop, so she was having to use up all her battery, she must be very important, too, to be unable to turn off her laptop for the few minutes we were waiting on the flight.

About then is when it really started to get to me. The people, and there were several, who felt it necessary to make cell phone calls while boarding the plane. To let whoever was on the other end know EXACTLY.TO.THE.VERY.MINUTE. what was happening with them.

“Yep, just fixing to board.”

“Yep, just standing here in the jetway.”

“Uh-huh, just got in my seat.”

“No, I’m still in Atlanta, but we’ll be leaving in a few minutes”

“OK, they’re making the announcement I’ve got to turn my phone off now.”

“OK, I’ll call you as soon as I get there.”

And it was just as bad on the other end of the flight, when we landed:

“Yeah, we’re here in Philly now.”

“Right, we just landed.”

“OK, we’re taxiing to the gate right now.”

“I am four rows back from the exit so I should be able to get off fairly quickly.”

“They’re getting ready to open the doors and I’ll be in baggage claim in five minutes”

And that’s when it hit me. These people aren’t important --- they’re simply full of themselves. Unless you are transporting a HEART, in an ICE COOLER, and there are ambulance people waiting to drive you to the hospital so that donor heart can be transplanted into a dying person ---- then NO ONE GIVES A SHIT THAT YOU’RE TAXIING TO THE GATE!!! None of the rest of the passengers on the plane want to hear your play-by-play of how the flight went! Wait ten minutes, for Pete’s sake, until you get into the terminal and then make your oh-so-important phone call out of range of my hearing, ok? Could you do that for me???

And while you’re at it, lose ninety percent of your electronic toys, and learn to stimulate your mind with a book. It’s called READING. Before hand held games and cell phones and laptops, it’s how people used to entertain themselves. Sounds boring, I know, but give it a try, you might just like it. Or maybe I should adopt a “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” philosophy and take Kellen’s Game Boy the next time I travel, so people will think I’m important, too.

Actually, I AM important. Know how I know? Because I have friends I adore, who like me right back.



We can go months without seeing one another, although we try not to, and pick up right where we left off.




They don’t mind when I invite myself to their home to visit them, and are willing to drive to all over the East Coast with me so we can spend the weekend scrapbooking together.




They even humor my excitement when I see snow for the first time in six years.




Best of all? Best, best, bestest of all? They understand the need to stock up for a three hour drive as if we’ll never see junk food again. After all, the weathermen were predicting snow, and a lot of it. Heaven forbid we slide into a ditch or a snow bank and have to spend the weekend there. I would hate to resort to eating paper or trying to melt snow with an emergency flare, when Twizzlers, Flipz, and Whoppers are such better choices.

And by the way? We DID actually solve the rain forest issue. We also figured out a way to end world hunger (that didn’t involve Twizzlers), make alternative fuel affordable, and came up with a plan to save the endangered leatherback sea turtle. Sorry to say, the brain cells containing all this valuable information had a mysterious and unfortunate collision with :cough: amaretto :cough: and all data was lost. Suffice it to say, the sheer genius of our ideas will have to wait until the next time I get together with my girlfriends. Because you know if we can solve problems like that, we are just as important as those other people.

I think next time I fly, though, I’ll stay in my pajamas, to make it easier for the other passengers to understand how important I am, too.

PS. 95 percent of this journal entry is written in jest. Three percent of me really was annoyed with those obnoxious people on their cell phones in the airplane, and the remaining two percent was being eaten alive with a white-hot jealousy at all those other passengers and their laptops. I wouldn’t be forced to make fun of them if I had one myself, right? I have an anniversary coming up, and it shouldn't be too difficult to figure out what’s on top of my wish list.

36 comments:

Cate said...

Oh hell. I'm guilty of traveling with laptop, DVD player, and cell phone. Um, yeah, and that was just for me.

I sometimes will read on the flight too, but so much of my freakin' job is about reading that a good movie where my brain can go numb is always a good thing.

I personally detest people who talk on their cell phones in stores, or my personal favorite, on the SKI LIFT!!!! Left the damn phone in the car! You aren't that important.

Anonymous said...

And another sign of how important you are.....there were over 200 people waiting impatiently for your return. Well, 204 if we count those people who live with you!


I love airports....and hospital waiting rooms (for the people watching value). My favorite was the mom picking lice out of her daughter's eyebrows at throwing them on the floor. I kid you not!

Dixie

Cate said...

And that's supposed to be leave. Oops.

Kathy (in Alaska) said...

Great to see you back Kristie!

I don't even own a cell phone or a portable phone but...
my lap-top, well, that's a whole nuther story. My lap-top is surgically connected to my lap, and just like my "good scissors" which I use for cutting quilt fabric, everyone knows to never lay their hands on either one if they want to live to see tomorrow!

Natalie said...

Thank God you're home. We missed you.

Anonymous said...

I am important! I took my laptop to the hospital when my last child was born. He was a c-section and I knew I would be there a few days. My mother in law called the nurse's station because she couldn't get through to my room. I was online, he he.

I can't wait for my girls' weekend in Seattle next month. You gotta love time away with girlfriends. I won't be taking my laptop though. I might even buy a book for the flight.

Postcard Cindy said...

Thank god you are back, I was starting to go into withdrawal!

Anonymous said...

PHILLY??
Did you really just say Philly?
I swear, if I ever run into you...(before this post I thought my chances would be zero)...but, now to hear that you were right here in town!!!
I am an "everyday follower" but only posted 1 or 2 times back on the CB page. Your stories are so endearing & I just love your wit!
Please don't stop writing!
I don't know what I would do....
I have read so many of my own feelings in your posts, they have in a weird way validated the crazy things that can go thru a cancer mom's head.
So for never having met you...I warn you...if you are ever in Philly again...and I spot you by some crazy twist of fate, I will be the idiot jumping up & down screaming
"Oh My God....Oh My God...You are Kristie!"
In case all the posts before havn't made it clear enough already.....YOU ARE SOOO IMPORTANT!
Jeanne
Mom to a 6 yr old ALL survivor
(9 mths off treatment!)

D said...

LOL Kristie- I so, totally people watch too! What a moron that guy on the shuttle was. His poor mama! And, I so, totally and completely agree with you about reading a good book. There’s just something about turning pages and not clicking keys that I find very relaxing. I'm Glad to read that you had such a fun time with your girlfriends. Boy am I ever in DIRE need of a weekend like that. Again, it's so great to have you back.

D

Dixie- EWWWWW you saw a mom pick lice out of her daughter's eyebrows and throw them on the floor????? How totally blasted disgusting is that!!!!

kim said...

Ahhh, Kristie, I could totally relate to that whole post, except my percentage of seriousness over the whole thing is a little higher than yours. I spent a year working at the airport, and the people-watching is unrivaled. But...after a year I needed to leave there because otherwise I was going to end up being the crazy lady down the street with too many cats. What I seriously loved was the pictures with your girlfriends--oh, how fun! I think everybody needs those weekends...but they need them with a laptop, especially if they're you :). We cannot put the laptop in the same category as the damn phones (mine included), palms and blackberries, pedometers, permanently attached blood pressure monitors, and what all else important people have. You will see what we mean when you get your laptop. And if it is not forthcoming soon, let us know and we'll carry on with the plan to take up a collection. So, in closing, I'm glad you had a good time with your friends and that you shared pictures with us, but now I'm even more glad you're back.

p.s. Dixie--HAHAHA and EWWWW all at the same time. I have a mental picture of that Mom and kid sitting in a cage with the monkeys.

Anonymous said...

If nothing else, it makes for a great story. I am a fellow scrapbooker and this may sound strange but I would love to see pictures of your pages if you could post some of those. Glad to hear you had a great time and home safely.

Vicki Pfiester
Bark River, MI

Carrielynn said...

You crack me up, Kristie!! But I have to admit - I'm right there with you when it comes to people wearing their pajamas - or what they call "activity pants" - in public, talking on cell phones in public and being a complete moron to their parents in public. I love to people watch. Actually, my 13 year old daughter is the queen of people watching! ha! Where do you think she got that from? But the laptop, even tho I don't have one, I can understand tagging that along wherever you go. That's a necessity! Especially if you go and leave us for 4 days again without posting.

Renee said...

I am VERY important because I have KRISTIE for a dear friend. You rock.

Donna said...

I think you hit it on the head. We think we are so important that the world ought to make way. On the rare occasions that I can shop without one or two punks in tow, and I don't have to hurry to pick up said punks, I love to go shopping and watch everybody hurry around and get p*ssed off at everything. So few people seem to be having a good time. It's funny and sad at the same time. But I do tend to wonder now just what makes them so p*ssy or sad, and if it's because they have a child with cancer or a parent with Parkinson's or a spouse with a drug problem. And then I cut them some slack because maybe, just maybe, they need it. A lot of the time, they probably don't, but I suppose a little extra deposit in the First National Bank of Karma never hurt anybody.

BTW, I hope pj girl shopped at LL Bean and not Victoria's Secret.

Briana said...

I'm so glad you're back. I was having withdrawals :)

I have to admit that when I fly somewhere, I LOVE to people-watch in the airport. I, too, always wonder where the people are going, who they are visiting, etc. And I am also one of those who travel with a book - no electronics for me. I'm the only one in my family who doesn't even own an ipod or mp3 player.

Sounds like you had a wonderful weekend with your friends. Makes me want to get away.

Stacey from Missouri said...

Oh it is so good to have you back. I came to your sight everyday hoping by some off chance you updated and then this morning my addiction was satisfied. I so totally understand the loading up of junk food for a long ride. My husband and I get our goodies together for any ride over an hour. My husband also accuses me of staring; I will have to remember to correct him and tell him I am people watching. Thanks for the update. Hope all is going well with Blaine and the insurance issues.

Amy from St.Pete said...

Kristie,
Well first of all, Whoopers are awesome!! I love to people watch too. I just got home from the gym where I was people watching. One of the personal trainers is so skinny that she looks like she's on deaths doorstep. She always wears these really low-cut pants and you can see her bones sticking out, it's disturbing to say the least. Every time I see her I want to throw her some food. I did notice a lady I hadn't seen since last year and she looked like she had lost a lot of weight. That's was nice to see.
My husband left on Sunday to go on a cruise with his family. I could have went but I didn't want to leave the kids for 8 days and anyone that could babysit was on the cruise. Since Mom was paying, I told Matt he could go. His Mom and 4 of his brotther's were going. Anyways; Since he was going to be out of the Country for 8 days he called I don't know how many times!! It went something like this, Were picking up Mike now, we're on the way to Miami, we're at the parking lot, we're getting ready to get on the ship, we're on the ship, the ship is leaving. I'm sure he will give me the play-by-play when they dock and drive home to St.Pete. The kids and I have been having a blast this week and Luke's 7th birthday is tomorrow.
I've now lost 28 lbs. & raised $445 for The Katia Solomon Foundation!!
I can't wait to read more!!

Toes in the sand said...

You crack me up! I love reading your blog and it is usually good for a smile/giggle or two.

I LOVE to people watch. If I travel with my kids my daughter is always accusing me of 'being nosey'. I tell her that I am entertaining myself the cheap and easy way =)

Alice said...

I, too, am a self-proclaimed people watcher. And I have been "Hissed at" to stop staring, too!

Thanks for the laughs!
Alice
http://alice-wonderlandgirl.blogspot.com/

Leonard_Elaine said...

Where there really only 200 people waiting for your return?

I can't take potshots at people with laptop computers as mine is practically joined at my hip. But cell phone users drive me nuts. Can't they use text messages so the whole world doesn't know their business?

Glad you're back safely. Elaine

Morgan said...

I must admit that I have my masters in people watching, I guess I'm just nosy that way! My FAVE-O-RITE is when people come inside with those stupid bluetooth ear pieces on. What...you couldn't BARE to pick up your phone while you were looking to find your favorite extra small shirt? I agree, it's way too time consuming to actually pull your phone out when you're thumbing through the oranges at the grocery. I just want to shout in their faces, "Is your arm broke? or are you just too self-centered to think that no one else cares to hear about the drama at the club last night?" GEEZ! Disclaimer: I own a bluetooth, but only use it for the reason it was created...DRIVING! Ooh, and Cynical Sally says...Glad you're back!

McKeon Family said...

Kristie,
Thanks for making me laugh ...
all the time, every day.
I wish I was one of those lucky ladies having a weekend with you...
maybe I could become your friend and join you - I will bring you some junk food! :-)
Jan R.
Oak Park, CA

Chandra said...

Glad to see you back, rested and ready to finish :)

Personally, my favorites are the girls in the bathrooms, ON THE TOILET, talking on the cell phone. Cause good juicy gossip just can't wait, I guess.

Anonymous said...

How about the people who are so important they have to use the cell phone in the freaking toilet stall!!! I'm pretty sure even W doesn't take phone calls on the john!

Anonymous said...

Hi & welcome home safely Kristie. Wondering why you didn't really enjoy the FAMOUS Philly "treats" like soft pretzels or cheese steaks?? Twizzlers can be found EVERYWHERE.......Also wondering why you didn't cure cancer instead of focusing on the rain forest? You see all your loyal readers think you are So Important You Can DO Anything!!!! Next get away, armed with new laptop and dressed in pj's for success - you can take a pre-trip survey for our requests on focal topics for earth shattering changes!! Did your family miss you as much as your cyper friends??? In any case, we have great expectations now that you have been super/sugar recharged.

Stephanie said...

Ok, ok....I admit it, I am one of the evil cell phone people. But in my defense, the phone cll is always brief, always to my mom who will be picking me up from the airport to let her know to cme and pick up her beloved daughter and very necessary since my cell phone works quite nicely on the plane but has NO SIGNAL in the blasted airport. So obviously I am SO NOT important or I would have a better cell phone :-).

Your journal is awesome.

Stephanie

Sue said...

Kristie,

After you've posted all of the latest information about your trip, your growing family story, news about Blaine and your great snippets of Life with Kristie, you'll have to tell us what you like to read! Do you have favorite authors or a favorite genre? I'm always looking for something new and interesting to read, so let me know what you've found that's good!

Maybe one day, I'll actually remember to charge my cell phone before going somewhere. Then I could be important too!

Keep up the great writing Kristie (no pressure, of course)!

Sue
www.caringbridge.org/visit/rachelruth

Ann said...

I don't even remember how I found your blog ... but, it is an absolute pleasure to come here and read your blog. You have the single most important trait we need in life ... HUMOR! Thank you for the laugh.

Ann S.
www.jack-schrooten.blogspot.com

Tammy said...

Love the pic of the junk food!
It's always great to see old friends. I miss you guys!

hope you had a good time!

tammy

D. Johnson said...

Welcome back Kristie! I, too, was going into withdrawl. After stumbling onto your site by accident I'm hooked! Like many of your fans I am thriled/reassured by your observations. Not everyone can whip the mundane, the annoying into humor but you have such talent for it! I have no fears of flying, in fact I love it, but you and I have scrapbooking, chilling with friends to solve the world's problems, and overpacking food in common. The last time I took an overnight trip here in Maine I packed enough food to camp in my car for a week! Hey, you never know- one wrong turn, a muddy road, and that IS a possibility. Yes. Having a growing group of devotees is a responsibility. But with the richness you have in your life you'll never want for material. (Time, though...) Looking forward to your next entry. Fondly, D. Johnson

Anonymous said...

Uh oh ... I am so guilty. I fly pretty often as my family lives 1700 miles away. When my grandfather died and I flew home I got there and realized I didn't have any technology. My mom was quick to point out that I had my cell phone, sidekick, digital camera and iPod. Oh ya, that's technology ;) It all lives in my purse so it's just assumed that I will always have those four things (because come on, don’t we all carry those around?!) The scary thing is ... I am afraid to admit this ... I am guilty of driving and texting or IMing on my sidekick. So instead of important I think that makes me freaking insane (yet I continue to do it!) Just to admit I know what a book is ... have you read any of Jodi Piccoult’s books? I just got done reading one of her newer ones; good stuff!

I am glad you are back and able to entertain us! Welcome back!

Shannon said...

So, Kristie, now you know the truth...you are a rock star, at least in our minds...Some of us (poor, lame) wonderful people have been following since Kendrie's site. Feel free to send some people my way...

Anonymous said...

I must say my husband will be one of those *annoying* people getting on his phone when he lands tomorrow not because he is important but beacuse he has a wife who must know when he lands for fear that something happened to him...so I guess he is that important to me!!!!

Anonymous said...

I am so glad you are back. I don't realize what an important part of my day reading your blog is until you aren't there. I am almost amazed that you can go to the airport without security to keep all your fans and the papparazzi away!

Marci Connell said...

You are always hilarious. I am sit here going through what feels like my mid life crisis around me, I come here for laughs!! Thanks Kriste! Sorry I havent been checking in, going through miscarrying, finding out I have 3 weeks to pack a house for a move to Charleston SC, keeping 3 kids(I babysit), keeping my home in order and my own 3 kids afloat, I think I need a MASSIVE LAUGH AND A CALGON MOMENT!!! Thanks for making me smile! Love, Marci

Anonymous said...

OMG .. My husband flew from Tampa to Columbus OH. today. His plane was delayed. He CALLED me from the PLANE when he arrived in Columbus. I could just see you sitting there!!! No, we are not important !!! I about cracked up when he said we are on the ground but still on plane... "I" would have waited and WILL wait until I am OFF that plane from now on out!!