Thursday, June 01, 2006

WHO? WHO? {looking around wildly} ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?

Well, apparently the definition of “Home Health Care Nurse” means something different to the medical establishment, than what it means to Blaine and me. *We* assumed “Home Health Care Nurse” meant that a person, called a Nurse, most likely a woman not that I’m being sexist but still, would be coming to our Home, to provide Care, to Blaine, to help him improve his Health.

Then we found out that what the Air Force meant by it was that a Person, named Kristie, who has absolutely no Nursing experience whatsoever, would be providing Care of some kind, in our Home. I’m still not sure where the Health comes into play.

But I am now responsible for giving Blaine all of the Demerol injections he needs for break-through pain. It’s always enjoyable to jab your husband in the thigh or the ass with a Habit Forming Narcotic …. adding fun to the mix is the doctor’s order that if 50 mg doesn’t work, try 75! Then go to 100!!! It’s like a limbo in reverse! And me, getting to do my Robert Downey Jr impression!

I actually don’t mind. Blaine used to give me shots during the surrogate pregnancies, so perhaps this is a bit of turn about being fair play? Then I got tired of waking him up at night, so I started giving myself the injections. (Not too difficult, except for the nights you try to give yourself an injection in the left butt-cheek, and you’re right handed …. A contortionist, I am NOT!)

Then, I gave Kendrie shots during her leukemia treatment. Hands down, the hardest shots to give, even though the needles were the smallest. Watching Blaine hold her down and listening to her beg me not to do it ….. {shudder} …. I never want to do that again. I will GLADLY jab Blaine instead.

Just don’t ask me to change any bed pans, because I tell you, I am NOT a nurse, and you are NOT talking to me!

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