Friday, July 24, 2009

Excuses, excuses

I know I joke and kid around a lot about my weight .... in a sort of, "the best defense is a good offense" kind of way. I'm partly kidding, because I'm healthy and happy and love me a good spoonful of chocolate chip cookie dough, and really, who on this planet besides ME gives a hoot how I look? .... and partly, I've always acknowledged, somewhere deep in the recesses of my brain, that possibly, maybe, there is a small, teeny tiny, minute chance I could stand to lose a few pounds, IF I'm being totally honest with myself. The fact that NONE of the clothes in my closet fit me anymore is another tiny clue.

Then, I saw the pictures Blaine took of me on the cruise, in a swimsuit. Photographers everywhere know that the problem with actually BEING the photographer is that you are rarely in the pictures. In my case, specifically, since I am the one who takes the kids to the pool and the lake, I am NEVER in pictures in a swimsuit. Until vacation, when Blaine so gallantly offered to take some photos so I could have photographic proof that I truly did go on vacation with my family.

After seeing those pictures, I think I shall have to burn the evidence. It would be less painful for me to trick my kids into believing I wasn't there, and have them endure years of therapy to reconcile their absentee mother, than to have to print those pictures out and ever look at them again. EVER.

All kidding aside, they were horrifying. According to the bathroom scale, I am at least forty pounds overweight, which in my mental image of myself, translated to "slightly chubby". In photos, well, it translated to something much, MUCH uglier than that. And really, it was the painful prompt I needed to do something about my weight.

So the week we returned from vacation, I started a serious, SERIOUS, no-procrastinating, no excuses, make like Nike and just DO IT NOW, diet and exercise program.

Which lasted for approximately twelve hours.

Because I had so much laundry to do, and I was really, really tired from the drive from Baltimore, and hadn't had a chance to go to the grocery store. So I had to resort to eating whatever was left in the pantry. And the older two kids were at church camp, and then I *still* hadn't gone to the store, so we were eating out quite a bit.

Then you look up and a week's gone by and you've actually (meaning *I've* actually) gained three more pounds. Damn you, brand-new Panera Bread, only ten minutes from my house ::shakes fist at sky::

I vowed THIS week would be it .... THIS is the week I would start. First day of the rest of my life, and all that crap.

Then, in the previous five days, this is the list of excuses I've used not to exercise:

1. Traveling with Blaine.

2. After returning home, tired from traveling with Blaine.

3. It's too early.

4. It's too late.

5. It's too hot.

6. I don't have time to take another shower later today.

7. Sun is too bright and makes my eyes squinty which causes wrinkles. I might be fat, but I don't want to look fat AND old.

8. After exercising one day, I deserve a day off.

9. Legs still hurt from actually exercising one day.

10. Forgot my ipod. Heaven forbid I walk and have to listen to myself THINK for an hour.

11. I have a rash on my ankle.

12. My shoes are squinchy.

13. In a nutshell, I hate it.

So then this morning, driving Kellen to the wellness and strength training/conditioning camp that his school puts on all summer, I saw a man out walking his dog.

Using crutches.

Because he only had ONE LEG.

God, I suck.

34 comments:

KKGrimmer said...

Alrighty then, I'm gonna do that DVD that makes both of my legs SO sore the next day! Thanks for the motivation!

Teacher Tom said...

You don't suck Kristie. Exercise sucks.

Anonymous said...

Walk those dogs, Kristie, every day! Dr. Oz always says just 30 minutes of walking a day is a huge benefit to your weight and health.

Cheryl

Morgan said...

You're nuts, there's VERY few people on this planet (all are under 25) that love the way they look in a bathing suit! I loved all (other than the ones you confiscated) of your pictures and thought they were great! Take a walk with your kids and the dog after dinner, then call it a day!

s-peak said...

Right there with you sister!!!! We moved, I am stressed, I need to do stuff around the house. I need to boost from the chocolate since I don't drink my caffeine.

I bought the Wii Active thinking that I could use it with my kids, sadly it is still in the bag and it's been three weeks.

I too need to get off my ass and stop making excuses.

Why must it be so hard!!!

Trish in Leesburg, VA said...

Let's all start a "NQWIHP biggest loser"- then we can all make excuses together why we haven't done what we planned to do lol. Cause I said the same thing about my pictures and made the same plans, then went back to work and said forget it!

Anonymous said...

I walk my dogs every morning for 45 min. and actually kinda like it. I don't even think of it as exercise, I just think of it as the dogs need to be walked. I am walking the dogs, not myself. It is for them, not me. So I am kinda tricking myself into thinking it isn't exercise. And seeing how excited they get when they see those leashes, man! If only we could get so dang happy about a walk!!

Shanda

Mrs. Flamingo said...

Crap! That one legged guy just ruined my excuse to not exercise.

Kati*

Colleen said...

"Squinchy shoes!" How could anyone expect you to exercise in those?? I have a horrifying swimsuit shot from last summer taken after I had been working out for a WHOLE YEAR! I'll show you mine if you show me yours! ;-)

Kari said...

I so hear you on this!

Anonymous said...

SO SO SO FUNNY...thankfully many of us are in the same boat. I am currently in the "I have got to do something" mode as well...
Meg
Milford, CT

Kate said...

Exercise suuuuuuuucks. The only time I've stuck with an exercise plan was when I was training with Team in Training. You might want to check it out....it's an AMAZING organization!

vgsmom said...

I hate to be the one to tell you, because you have seen my extra 30 pounds, I exercise regularly. I do something at least 40 minutes 5 times a week. I'm just saying, why start??

Anonymous said...

OH my do I feel your pain. I could stand to loose those few extra pounds and boy, does it suck to think about actually starting the process. Because what it really boils down to is this: I LOVE ICE CREAM. Among other things. But, it is more than just a 12 week, loose a few pounds kind of diet. This requires a LIFESTYLE CHANGE!! Ahhhhhh!
Tammy in OH

Anonymous said...

Oh, Sister, how I share your pain!! I bought Wii Fit a couple weeks ago for my family. This morning, my kids were gone to daycamp, and my husband was at work, so I decided to try it out while I had time alone. I entered the info for my profile, and held my breath as it proceeded to tell me that my BMI is 34, I am obese, and my "Wii Fit Age" is 61. Did I mention that I am 45?!!!! Sigh...

Stacie from MN said...

I have a rash on my ankle, also! I would absolutely concur that that is why you haven't been able to exercise!

Anonymous said...

ROTFLMAO!

I believe we are sisters with different mothers.

Jane said...

I am just back from a 'Planet Heart' screening ... for 50 bucks you can get your cholesterol and blood sugar and blood pressure checked, they'll weigh you and measure your waist, you do a diet survey, and last but not least they perform a cat scan to check for plaque and/or calcium deposits in your heart. After all that?? While most of the rest needs quite a bit of work ... yay for a perfect '0' in the heart score!!! My goal is to be much healthier by the time I turn 50 in 9 months. Ugh. We don't know each other, but we could support and encourage each other whilst we each do the get healthy thang ... I'm just saying ....

jane

Anonymous said...

Love the word "squinchy"!! And, I think you're beautiful - at any weight. You're healthy, right?? You're happy, too?? There's so much more to life than weight and how one looks - but then, you already know that. But what do I know?? I hate exercise too - maybe I just want a partner in crime.....but I meant it when I said that I think you look great....lizinsumner

jojo said...

those one legged people just ruin everything for everyone else! BTW..I'm one of those people but that is totally my excuse for not exercising..;p

Amanda said...

i highly recommend the 30 day shred by Jillian Micheals. only 20 minutes a day. you're supposed to do it for 30 days straight, but i didn't - i need at least 1 or 2 rest days a week to let my muscles recover. It'll kick your butt (and make you sweat & cry)... but it works (especially when you eat healthy too)! There are 3 levels, so you can switch to a harder level once you're in better shape (don't worry, it took me over a month before i got onto level 2).

But I agree - exercise sucks. I hate it & use every excuse not to - but the results are motivating. well, it took a while for me to see results because i was still eating like crap, but once i cleaned that up... inches lost. feels good.

Stefunkc said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Eloise said...

I'm so with you on the hating to exercise bandwagon! I am neither coordinated nor athletic so nothing physical has ever been fun or rewarding to me. If you find the solution, please tell me!

Amy said...

Gee thanks Kristie. Now when I don't want to get off this damn couch, I have the picture of the one-legged, dog walking man in my brain too. Couldn't you have kept that one to yourself?!

Tina S said...

I HATE exercise. I think I did too much in H.S. and that was enough for a lifetime. I bought the Biggest Loser DVD's back in Jan. I have done them exactly 4 times, and not even the whole thing. My excuse was "I don't have weights". I used 2 wine bottles instead of weights those times and my husband walked in and said "You've got to be kidding". It also takes like a week to recover from one exercise session considering I hate exercise and I don't have time to hobble around. I think walking will be be the extent of my exercise in the future and unfortunately I don't live in a neighborhood, which would mean I would have to get in the car and drive somewhere I could walk. I feel your pain!

Lisa said...

I agree with those who say to walk the dogs (lots). If you can find some trails where they could go off leash, then they'll get even more exercise, and who knows, maybe you won't have to play WWBC anymore. The other bonus is you will definitely start to lose weight, and once it starts to come off you'll be motivated to keep it up when you notice how much better you feel. Then your clothes will fit better, your husband will start grabbing your behind more, and before you know it you'll actually enjoy going out, and then you'll start to miss it if you can't get out (and yes, I speak from experience!) But it was one little mantra that really helped me change my perspective about exercising: It is making me fitter and healthier, and looking better is just the bonus. So good luck, and know that there's nothing wrong with being sweaty!

Sandy P said...

I hear you loud and clear. I let my 2 year old decide if we are going to the gym some days. If she says she doesn't want to go, we stay home!

Cate said...

Today, I rode up the side of a MOUNTAIN on my bike while sweating profusely and breathing heavily all in the name of being a better climber. I can ride 40 to 60 miles on a road bike without thinking about it. I'm STILL 40 pounds overweight despite working out at least four days a week. So if you are only 40 lbs overweight with no exercise, why start now? I call it being a non-responder. My insane work life and crappy diet certainly can't be the cause.

Ginny said...

OMG....I'm sitting here LMAO!

I'm with you..I HATE exercising. Having said that, though, I also hate being overweight. I just started the Jillian's 30 day shred and it's KICKING MY BUTT. Seriously. Never thought only twenty minutes of exercise could make me so tired and sore.

Kelli said...

Kristie, Girl I am overweight to but here is what I have been doing lately and it seems to be a nice change of pace. My doctor told me that I am not allowed to use DVR anymore and during commercials I either have to run in place or do push-ups, sit-ups, or jumping jacks. He says that it is enough to get your heart-rate up and then you are still burning calories during your shows. I also really like Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shread! She kicks your ass but she knows the right target areas. I wont tell you that I have also been going to Bootcamp Tulsa in the morning to work out with women of all ages at 5:30 in the morning (I often question my sanity!) I am the same way though, I have every excuse down to a perfect art but my ass is so big that I have every size from a 6-16 in my closet. I have some work to do but I say hey at least I am making the effort

Nate's Mom said...

I love you Kristie! I could have written that post...right up to the one legged guy walking his dog. You've got me there. And DAMN! That's motivation. I hate to exercise, especially when its hot. My hubby likes to take walks in the evening; but I always have and excuse. Usually, I'm just wiped out. However, I never regret going after I get out there and just do it. Here's to "just doing it" more often.

It's Sunday. I challenge you to four 30 minute walks this week. It's supposed to be over 100 degrees here, but I'll do it if you will. Mall walks count, if it's 30 minutes of walking.

Sheri in CA

Gram said...

I am married to that one legged man who walks our son's dog sometimes. I just wrote a post on my blog last Fri about how I take for granted the things this brave man can do and the effort it takes him to do it. I such too!

Anonymous said...

You always crack me up! Only you would see a man with one leg walking his dog.
LMAO
Suzy
Tanners mom

brightarethestars said...

I like #7. :-)