Fast forward to this past weekend:
So, it’s great to be living back at home, and finally be “in the know” as far as social events. Social events like the current planning of my high school reunion which will be taking place this summer. Did I mention it’s my TWENTY-FIFTH high school reunion? Holy crap, I’m old and that’s depressing. So I signed up on Facebook and started reconnecting with people and playing the “what have you been doing?” game with everyone, which I am just nostalgic and sappy enough to totally love.
Of course, it plays right into the fantasy we all have, right? Showing up at a reunion looking all hot and foxy (do people actually say “foxy” these days?) --- stunning everyone you haven’t seen in years with your youthful beauty. (Don’t try and deny the fantasy … you KNOW you have it, too.) I’m sure I can accomplish that …. I just need to do something about these wrinkles. And age spots. And gray hair. And
Then I heard from a classmate that I used to date. That I used to date a LOT. That I really, really, really liked …. And, ok, fine. I’ll just say it. At the time, I thought he was the one … the, THE one. And yes, as an adult I can look back and realize what a dope I was at eighteen, but at the time? Broke my heart.
Who I actually met fifteen years ago at a reunion and liked very much, but never saw again because we never lived anywhere near one another?
I just found out ----- is a freaking aerobics instructor.
Hole. E. Shit.
Perhaps since diets always fail me (or I fail myself, if you want to be persnickety about it) THAT is the incentive I need to stick with the resolution and lose
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some celery to nibble on and some water to guzzle. Then I’ll be scheduling some Botox and Rejuvaderm and highlights and tanning sessions and a face lift and a tummy tuck and …………… oh, hell. Maybe I can just be away that weekend. Doing something vastly more fun. Like cleaning the muck out of sewers or something.