Monday, January 26, 2009

Apparently I fall down a lot

Last year, on the day of my kids Track and Field Day for school, I was running around like a crazy person with my camera, trying to get photos of my own kids, my nephews, and my friends' kids. There were other parents there I knew and we were laughing and having a good time. I was walking past the stadium seats on my way to ... somewhere ..... when I tripped over a piece of sidewalk that was approximately 1/1000 of an inch taller than the piece next to it. My toe caught, and my momentum lurched my body forward with my foot trapped behind. I started doing that thing ...... where you try desperately to catch up and right yourself .... arms windmilling all the while .... knowing that you're probably going down and there's nothing you can do about it. In my case, I had the added pressure of trying to protect my camera as I fell.

I landed flat on my face.

My sister and a friend of mine rushed over to me, but instead of helping me, instead of asking if I was alright, instead of checking for one NANOSECOND that I wasn't hurt, my sister just rolled around on the ground, tears streaming down her face, laughing her head off.

The only thing funnier is the re-telling of the story she does on a regular basis, and the uncanny re-enactment of the windmilling arms.

Then there was that time I fell down in Alaska and basically caused an avalanche.

Then last fall when we took Kellen and my nephews to run their triathlon I was hurrying, trying to get pictures of all the boys (you'd think I'd learn to slow down a little with the camera) and I stepped in a gopher hole and about bit the dust right there. My sister, once again, saw the whole thing and still makes fun of me about it.

What can I say? My nickname was "Klutz" in high school for good reason.

This morning, it started spritzing from the sky and the temperatures were falling pretty quickly as I prepared to leave the house. In fact, it was getting cold enough outside that I wasn't comfortable leaving the dog outside, especially since I would be gone all day. So I went outside with her to convince her to use the restroom before leaving her inside, while I went to the school to volunteer.

I already had my coat on, ready to leave the house ..... and as I stepped purposefully across the patio to go in the backyard with Barley, I felt my left foot begin to slide across the patio. Wait, I knew it was wet and cold, but I didn't realize it was already icy!

I tried frantically to regain my balance, but when my right foot begin slipping as well, I knew I was going down. Even my windmilling arms couldn't save me.

I fell, pretty hard, on my right side, and a few thoughts went through my head:

1. Dammit, I just got dirt on my coat.

2. Holy crap, I think I just broke my pinky.

3. Thank goodness Kelly wasn't here to see that.

I must have mumbled "Ouch!" which is CLEARLY dog-code for "Hey, Barley, come over here and jump on me!!!" because that's exactly what she did. While I'd love to assume she was rushing to check on her injured master, I'm pretty sure she just wanted to play .... especially considering she dropped her plastic donut on my chest, then jumped on me again.

So there I was, trying to get up, feet still slipping out from under me because of the ice, with a dog trying to lick my face the entire time, and I was laughing .... because after all, it *was* pretty funny.

It wasn't until later, when I got to the school, that I became aware of how sore my right side is. And I came to an earth-shattering realization:

If I were twenty years older, of if I were thirty pounds lighter, I totally would have broken my hip. Those extra layers of padding actually PROTECTED ME from injury!!

It's supposed to continue icing all evening. My brother in law already wound up in a ditch on his way home tonight, and school has already been canceled for tomorrow. If you'll excuse me, I need to go eat a donut. Because apparently I fall down a lot, and I need to protect me from myself.

22 comments:

Jacqueline said...

We're still waiting to see if school is canceled. Sorry you fell but at least no one saw, right?

shara said...

I came close to "the great ice dance". I was picking my daughter up early from school. I think almost every other parent was there to do the same. I- not very wisely- wore my "cowgirl" boots today! I was slipping across the street while several young men played soccer on the sidewalk and watched. It was beautiful, I am sure!

At least, no school tomorrow!

Pam D said...

Be careful! I fell a couple of weeks ago in the basement (scared the life out of my son) and really DID think I broke my hip for a minute. Just ended up with some nice trophy bruises, but dang~that's scary! I don't know.. maybe it's time to get one of those "help--I've fallen, and I can't get up!" buttons....

Sally said...

I tend to fall a lot too...in fact the other day as I was walking my 4 year old into pre-k at the day care, I fell...on my face at the front door (no ice in GA right now either).

My 4 year old didn't even ask if I was okay....I guess he is too used to it!!

I think all my padding helped me too!!

Cindy in Yukon said...

I'm glad you're OK, but I'm REALLY glad to know I am not alone in Klutzville! I have been falling down or running into something all my life. It's what I'm known best for :) Yeah, the icy weather really stinks! Monty actually drove to Tulsa this evening to take Justin and two of his friends to the AC/DC concert. Is that crazy or what?! They are staying the night, but I will be worried until they make it home safely tomorrow. Justin has been looking forward to this concert for months. Why couldn't the ice stay away for at least one more day? Ironically, the name of AC/DC's tour is the "Black Ice" tour. Go figure!

Anonymous said...

Bahaha, a woman after my own heart. I am ALWAYS falling, I trip over thin air. I remember falling once standing right behind my daughter's 2nd grade teacher on the school playground, who was talking to another teacher. Both had their back to me when I went down, hard, on sharp rocks. I immediately looked up and discovered no one had witnessed my fall, except for my DS and daycare kid, who were used to seeing me go down and thought nothing of it. I also felt blood running down my leg. I had a 5 minute conversation with the teacher, who was never the wiser, all the while arching my foot up to keep the blood contained in my pants leg (and off my new shoes!)Then I limped very slowly to the van, where I inspected the damage and found a huge gash. It was so bad I drove to a friend's house to have her patch me up, because it was closer than home.

I also blew my knee this past summer jumping up to hit a volley ball. How very sporty of me (eye roll). I wound up having my ACL ligament replaced. Ouch.

Hope you are OK. I am going to eat some Hoho's since I heard we are supposed to get ice and snow tommorow:)

Rita

Stefunkc said...

Oh Kristie...so glad you're alright! And brave enough to share it with all of us!

Ann said...

Oh, you always make me laugh. Thanks.

One Down, One to Go said...

I was a ballet dancer for many years and I can fall over a crack in the sidewalk (and do so on a regular basis) the worst was falling down the stairs and breaking three ribs. SO your not alone, I am the clumsiest person I know.

PS When I was dancing I fell over on a regular basis but only in rehearsal and never on stage. I always had fellow dancers in stitches at my ability to do a stunning triple pirouette and then land flat on my (boney) bum.

Anonymous said...

You are so hiliarious. (I'm sorry...I guess I just admitted to laughing LOUDLY at your misadventures.) It must be fun being you. Most importantly, I'm thankful you were not injured. Thank you for the incentive to go eat another bagel.

Claire in Indiana

Leeann said...

ROFL!! You crack me up! And I could so imagine Barley dropping that donut on you.
Hey, we padded people, we are the SURVIVORS. Check any anthropology book. ;-)

Leeann
niccofive.blogspot.com

Tracy said...

We were having a conversation at lunch not long ago about this very thing! I said I was working to get to the point where if I fell, I would bounce back up!!!

stephanie lawrence said...

hahahahaaaa... you make me laugh! too funny...

karen said...

Oh Kristie, Now I know why I have padding, to protect me from a fall. I also fell in the house no less. Of course I was pushed by my loving daughter after I won a wii game. I fell right over a chair and all 3 of my kids saw me. Hmmm I have also fallen down the stairs. So at least yours is actually tripping or sliding on something, mine is just clutz.

Rhonda said...

OMG ~ I am at work and trying not to bust out laughing! That story about your sister seeing you fall and her cracking up ~ well, that just cracks me up! I can so see two sisters doing that to each other ~ no matter if you are kids or grown! We are having the threat of ice here in North Texas this afternoon and tomorrow. I have busted my buns on the ice more than once and, I agree, IT HURTS! I will try not to go outside if we have icy weather!!! It's safer that way!

The Running Girl said...

The ice is suppose to make it to us tonight. Although I'm not sure we'll get enough to cancel school. We'll see.

lizinsumner said...

I truly hadn't considered this boon before you brought it up; and I have the added benefit of having abnormally and freakishly strong bones from my latte habit (milk!every!day!!)so, I and my padding thank you for bringing it to our attention.....can I has donut too????

Trish in Leesburg, VA said...

I have never heard a better reason for eating donuts and other yummy treats! :) Hope the soreness wears off soon!

Alisa said...

I am coming over for donuts!

mom25in5 said...

My sister has MS and falling is pretty much the norm. We have a system...if you fall and don't break anything...it's a 9.5. If you break something it's a 3.5. If you fall, don't break anything and someone else gets to watch and help you laugh...10.0.

Yeah...with MS you find your humour where you can get it.

Vicky said...

From one klutz to another...I've had my share of falls...and get teased all the time. I fell down a set of stairs in grade school, fell down a different set when I was pregnant with my oldest child (could that be what's wrong with her..lol) and fell, breaking only my thumb 2 years ago (though it was mostly the dogs fault.

Good luck and be careful!

Amy said...

School canceled here today and probably tomorrow as well...woohoo!! I'm in North Texas. And...please don't feel bad...I fell running through the rice on my wedding day (@#$@%& suitcase) and once broke my leg...running to call an ambulance for a man who broke his leg.