Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Award Plaque. That is Not Mine.

You know that plaque that hangs in your hallway? The Good Parent of the Year plaque? Yes? No? Yeah, it’s not in my house either. In fact, I would venture to say today wouldn’t even make my top THOUSAND list of “Days I’ve enjoyed being a parent.”

It started out innocently enough. It’s Wednesday, after all, which is one of my favorite days of the week. Last fall, when school started, we realized that in between soccer, piano, choir, homework, and all the other stuff that tends to take over our lives when we’re not paying attention, we realized our family time was getting squished out the middle. So Blaine and I designated Wednesdays as “Family Fun Nights”, and we spend them together as a family, doing (hopefully) fun things. Otherwise, it would be “Family Boring Night” or “Family Let’s Watch Mom Do Some More Laundry Night” or whatever.

Some nights we go out to dinner, some nights we go out for ice cream, some nights we take bike rides, some nights we go to a park, some nights we stay home and play games …. It depends on the weather and our moods and our wallet. But we’ve stuck pretty faithfully to the plan and I think the kids enjoy it as much as Blaine and I do. The school doesn’t give homework on Wednesdays and the kids know not to ask for playdates …. Wednesdays are reserved. And I like it that way.

Today when I picked the kids up after school, I was excited to tell them our Family Fun Night tonight would be going to a matinee of “Hotel for Dogs”. They have been begging to see the movie ever since the very first time they saw the trailer of the dogs pooping on the conveyer belt --- ahhhhh, Oscar-worthy material, for sure. Then we would come home and have dinner together (God bless the person who invented the crock pot) and watch tonight’s episode of American Idol. Because I believe in exposing my children to educational television and all that.

Sure enough, when I told them, squeals abounded. There might have even been an excited jump or two in the air. Even better was that Dad would be meeting us at the movie … so, a true “Family” Fun Night.

We stopped at Wal-Greens on the way to buy candy (NOT that we are the kind of people who sneak candy into movies because that would be cheating and WRONG) and all three kids said they had to go to the bathroom first. So I took them to the back of the store where the bathroom is located, where for some reason, the heat had obviously gotten stuck on “Super Nova HIGH” and it was about 120 degrees. Brayden immediately starts exclaiming and gasping and clutching her throat like someone who has crawled across the Sahara Desert. At high noon. In July. With no water.

She is in such a rush to get out, vocalizing all the time about how “She cannot BREATHE in this heat!!!” that she literally almost knocks me over in the doorway. No “excuse me”, no “pardon me”, no “move over, would you …” just shoves me out of the way and pushes past. Which I thought was incredibly rude. Then she wandered off to browse the store without my permission.

I take Kellen and Kendrie to the candy aisle, where Kellen promptly picks out his candy and Kendrie asks if she can have popcorn instead. I say yes. Then I have to find Brayden, who is two aisles over looking at the #(*$&# Webkinz, and remind her we only have a few minutes to get to the theater.

She comes over and gets her candy, grumbling about how I always rush her, and we head to the checkout. After we lay the candy on the counter and the cashier starts ringing it up, Kendrie asks, “What about pop at the movie?” and like always, I say no. I don’t know why she keeps asking, the answer is always no. Of course then she starts complaining about how the popcorn will make her thirsty and she will NEED something to drink. So, being the awesome spectacular mom that I am, I tell all three kids they can pick a soda out of the case by the checkout. I say simply, “You won’t be able to take it in, but you can drink it before and after ….”

Well, that’s clearly not good enough. Brayden says they don’t have the kind she likes in the case. Kendrie is still complaining that it won’t help her when she’s inside eating popcorn, and a line is starting to form behind me as I remind them that in a nutshell, I am too darn cheap to pay twelve dollars so they can each have a small drink during the movie.

Kendrie gets mad and walks about ten feet away, arms folded across her chest, pouting. (No, mom, she doesn’t remind me of anyone --- why do you ask???) Kellen and Brayden have both made their choices and are standing to the side, making fun of her. Which makes me even more annoyed because I don’t need to hear it from them.

I turn to one side to tell Kendrie that she has ten seconds to either pick out her drink or she won’t get one, and then I turn to my other side to tell Brayden and Kellen to hush, and as I turn back to pay, I catch the very last nanosecond of the cashier exchanging “a look” with the customer in line behind me. I TOTALLY didn’t blame her, they were being completely obnoxious. But still, how embarrassing, because she was right.

We pay, and Kendrie is doing that pouting-dragging-feet-walk to the van, the entire time I’m telling them to come on, we have to go. Right before we reach the van Kellen says, “Wait, you mean we’re going to the movie right now?” and when I said yes, why did he think we were in such a hurry, he fires back with, “Well, great. By the time we get home it will be dark and I won’t even get to play outside. Do I HAVE to go to the movie??”

And that was the moment I had had it. Ungrateful, unappreciative little brats. I was trying to take them to a movie, that THEY wanted to see, not me, and buy them candy and soda before hand, and they’re giving me grief about every step of the process???

We got in the van, I made sure everyone was buckled up, and then made a very clear point of calling Blaine on the cell and telling him, “Don’t bother meeting us at the movies. The kids are not appreciating what I’m trying to do here and we won’t be going today.”

Oh, the fits that ensued. Kendrie went pretty much into total melt-down mode and had she been able, might have actually thrown herself on the floor, such was her despair. Brayden immediately started blaming everyone else and hurling accusations about how it was all THEIR fault, and then Kellen did that annoying pre-teen thing and said, “Fine! I’d rather go home anyway than watch that stupid movie!”

The whole way home I had to listen to them argue, complain, apologize, whine, and beg me to change my mind. I kept saying to them, “I know you’re sorry you acted ugly … I’m sorry, too. But it is what it is and we’re not going. I don’t do nice things for kids who act like that.”

Finally, after we got home, and they realized holy SHIT, mom is really not turning the van around and giving us another chance, things got accusatory, with Brayden informing me that the entire thing was MY FAULT for taking them to Wal-Greens anyway.

A short while later Blaine came home, having taken off early to go to the movie. Immediately they all three starting telling him how mean I was, how it was all my fault, how Family Fun Night is NEVER any fun because I ruin it all the time, and then Kendrie threw in the coup de grace, “I WISH I LIVED WITH ANOTHER FAMILY!!!!

I said to Blaine, “Dinner is in the crockpot. I am done with these people.” and went to bed and took a two-hour nap. When I woke up, the girls apologized. You know what? I didn’t want to accept it. Is that terrible of me? I stayed annoyed with all three of them all evening. They were rude, they were ungrateful, they were argumentative, and they were blame-shifters. They never take responsibility for their actions or behavior, even if it’s hurtful, and it seems the more we do for them, the more they expect it.

How come nobody told me this was how some days would go? I know things will be better again tomorrow and I’ll remember how much I love them and just want to squeeze them and kiss them and talk to them and spend time with them because they are oh so cute and all mine and I adore them. But today? They’re brats.

And I don’t even WANT a plaque on the wall if this is the crap I have to put up with.

74 comments:

thomsen said...

I think you did the right thing to take them home again! It should have been a family fun thing and for me that is the hole family... not only the kids. In my eyes you deserve a plaque!

shara said...

Thank you sooo much. You just described my family- except it is minus the dad and two teenaged girls instead of your troupe.

And I have gotten the "I wish I lived with another family"- wait, one better- "the only reason I didn't run away is because I have diabetes so I am trapped".

Ah- my faavorite...

It is a good thing that there are the good times, and that God has made them so cute...

Mom on the Run said...

You are not alone. I often feel the more I do for the kids the less they appreciate what I dio or sadly even realize I am doing it.

I have a 13 yo. I have started talking to her about her attitude and general grumpiness when asked to do simple household tasks. I will lay heavy hints that I just may not be that willing to drive her to the school dance or a friend's house if she will not even do tasks without eye rolling or noise in the back of throating. Aaarrggh! Someday we will look back on these days and laugh. Right!?!?!

Anonymous said...

The one time my then 11 year-old son told me he "wished he lived with a family that did fun things and didn't SCREAM at their kids", I immediately went to his room with a trash bag, emptied all his clothes into it and told him to get in the van. I told him to let me know when he saw "the house" he thought he wanted to move into. I drove around for over an hour in different neighborhoods waiting for the word! Finally he told me "I'll just stay with ya'll until I turn 18 and then I'm out of there"!!! The little SH** stayed until he was 24!!!
~Debbie~

Lollyblogger said...

You do deserve a plaque- for your honesty. I've had days like this- where by the end of it I want to put my whole entire family up for sale. You make me feel better by being so candid- and this would make one heck of a scrapbook page. Just use a lot of black.

Bud said...

You obviously have a view of my family life as well. I am glad that you stuck to your guns though. I think in my efforts to create family memories that sometimes I give my kids too much and they are really ungrateful.

Darling Daughter 1 got to go sledding last Friday nigh (which you know in Georgia costs an arm and a leg). was going to a girl scout all night skate on Sunday night, and had the nerve to have a meltdown because I wouldn't fund a trip to Build a Bear for her on Saturday.

I so feel your pain.

Cathy said...

If any of that had been in the brochure before we all had kids, none of us would've had kids at all!!

You did exactly what I would've done, I'm sorry, HAVE done and I'm sure I'll be doing it again with two 15 year old boys and an almost 9 year old girl in the house.

Plaque shmack...I'll take a two hour nap anyday!

Cathy
Santa Clara, CA

MadWoman said...

Good for you for not turning around! There have been many occasions (more than I care to admit) where I have done the same thing and it always garners the same response from friends about "how could you not take them?!".

If it's not fun for everyone, which it clearly wasn't for you, then it isn't Family "FUN" Night.

Glad you were able to catch a nap...and maybe they'll think twice before pulling that stunt again.

Julie said...

This has been one of the biggest challenges I've faced as the parent of a very soon to be 16 year old and an almost 11 year old. The Family Fun/Movie nights we use to always do have pretty much fallen by the wayside. We still always ask, "do you guys want to do such and such?" But pretty much the answer is generally no. They want to do their own things. Now we just try and make the most of the times they do join us. For instance, I don't care what anyone says... God Bless American Idol, it's about the only time we all join together. It may be in front of the TV, but we're interacting, talking and laughing. I can only hope that we made enough memories when they were little to last. :o) This was the first year (2008) that everyone wanted to do their own thing for Halloween and New Years. It's a hard pill, but I guess it's the result we're all aiming for. Take heart you've done a great job and even if you never had another family fun night they would have zillions of fabulous memories. <3

Dawn said...

Just yesterday I looked through old boxes of pictures to see what my children were like when I actually enjoyed them...now would not be that time! I always say I should have had fewer children and more dogs!

Anonymous said...

OMG...I'm going to be late taking the kids to school today because I couldn't stop reading this post! Too, tooo, too funny....oh, how I've been there, sista!!!!

Sue said...

Good for you for sticking to your guns! The plaque isn't important; raising children that are not self-centered manipulators is worth a whole lot more that a plaque! You're a much better parent than many of the people I come across.

Vicki said...

Amen sister. Sounds like my household to a tee. You don't have to accept their apology, no need to say you accept it and not mean it. Maybe they'll think about their actions next time, you did the right thing. Thanks for sharing, glad to know it's not just me.

Renee said...

Oh, I thought the boys were the only ones who thought life centers around them. (Besides me!) You did the right thing by taking them home AND taking a nap. Sorry, friend.

Anonymous said...

Sadly, we have ALL been there...
Today will be better.
Meg
Milford, CT

Anonymous said...

OMG. Kristie, I usually don't comment but that could have been my 8 year old. His new favorite line is "I wish I lived somewhere else" Thanks for making me feel normal. Wanna swap kids?

Mommy in 2000

Anonymous said...

What I think my kid was with you last night. I hate when the kids act like that and I totally understand.

Robbin

Sandie said...

Let's look at it from another point of view.. you didn't have to see that horrible, terrible movie. This was in your favor, believe me. Use this to the nth degree, and refuse to EVER see the movie!

I sorry you had a rotten day though.. I feel for you:)

Anonymous said...

Good for you Kristie!
I only wish more parents out there would think along the same lines as you. It would have been a hellava lot easier to just go to the movie. You seized the opportunity to teach your kids an important lesson and that is how kids learn how to behave.

You did the right thing girl

Becca said...

You did the right thing! I've had to abandon ship and take my children back home many, many, MANY times, and it never gets any easier.

TheresaG said...

For years my mom would listen to our "you're a mean mom" complaints, and reply with, "Good, maybe THIS will be the year I get the Mean Mom Award."
One year for Mother's day, my brothers and I managed to use a wood burning kit to make a wooden plaque that said "First Name, Last Name is hereby awarded the Mean Mom award" and included a sketchy first place ribbon drawing and the date. That plaque is the first thing she hangs in every place she lives.

Denise said...

Oh Kristie, you are too funny! I know it doesn't seem funny to you now but trust me, the time will come when they will look back and appreciate all the time you and Blaine have spent with them--doing things that THEY want to do! My little darlings are now 29 & 28 and sometimes they melt my heart talking about all the fun things their dad & I did with them when they were growing up, even though your post is similar to MY recollections of so many "fun times" we had as a family--lol. Are you sure you weren't watching a home movie from my past???? You have a beautiful family and I love re-living raising my children vicariously through your writings. Hang in there!

RSMDianne said...

Oh, I'm right there with you. We live in CA, but were in New York last weekend for my son's high school's choir's performance in Carnegie Hall. We took our 3 children, well, 18, 13, and 10, to see their brother sing. While we were there, I got the teacher web grade update from my 13 yo son's history teacher, 22 out of 30 assignments were MISSING! I'm usually so on him, but they were supposed to be in a binder that was collected last week. I was livid. Anyway, the 13 yo's choir was invited to sing at Disneyland yesterday, so he would miss yet another day of school. I emailed the teacher to see if it would be a problem if he missed it, because as a parent, why should a kid who doesn't do his schoolwork be rewarded with a trip to Disneyland? But she said his absence would be felt, so I didn't want to be one of those parents who penalizes the whole group because of my kid. So I let him go, BUT I drove there and picked him up right after the performance, 6 whole hours before the rest of the choir was going to leave. Oh, man, was I the meanest mom ever because I made him come home and do homework instead of playing at Disney.

Elonda said...

THANK YOU! Wow, that is like reliving one of my days. I feel like such a failure when all they do it fight and whine. You deserve the GOOD PARENT plaque.

lizinsumner said...

Wow - sounds JUST like my house! Only it's getting exponentially more expensive as he ages.....

Anonymous said...

All I have to say is, good for you! I am not a parent, but a teacher. I know there are times at school when I am just appalled at the ungratefullness of the kids. I know parents are doing their very best, or at least most are, to make them gracious, conscientious children. But, as we all well know, children are selfish.
Keep it up! I always love the looks on their faces when they realize I'm not bluffing.

Missy in FL said...

AMEN, Sister! I'm quoting you here:

"How come nobody told me this was how some days would go? I know things will be better again tomorrow and I’ll remember how much I love them and just want to squeeze them and kiss them and talk to them and spend time with them because they are oh so cute and all mine and I adore them. But today? They’re brats."

And saying AMEN again. You are so on the money. You are not alone, and kids are sometimes a**holes. Period. So are parents, but probably because the damn kids drove them to it.

leeanne said...

Oh Kristie...Been there, done that! You really do deserve that plaque because you stuck to your guns and did the right thing. Kids are kids and they act like that sometimes. Thankfully, when they get past, oh, say, 19 or 20 years of age, they get SOOO nice and fun to be around all the time. Grown up is very good. :) But then you'll wish they were young again. Hmmmmmm.

Jeanette in GA said...

LOVE IT. It is hard being the "mean mom" but a hell of a lot better than being the mom who lets them act that way and rewards their behavior.

Sounds like a amaretto night to me!

Anonymous said...

OMG! There must have been a full moon yesterday because my kids annoyed the crap out of me too! Is it so hard to say "please" and "thank you" and do what what is asked of you the FIRST time it's asked? When I put my son to bed he said "let's start all over tomorrow." Which we did, but geez were they on my nerves yesterday!

My kids call me (and I often call myself) the "killer of all fun." I consider it my job!

Oh, and I always take my kids to the dollar store or Tar Jay before heading to the movies. I refuse to pay $4.50 for something I can get for $1.

Diane in Cincinnati

Cate said...

Been there, done that, but not with my own child. I was a Big Sister in Big Brothers/Big Sisters, and while we had some wonderful times together, she often saw me as a money tree and would have complete meltdowns when I said we couldn't do something.

I once dropped her back off at home after 15 minutes together. This was time I had set aside for her out of my extremely limited free time. I was done! We didn't have too many problems after that.

lizinsumner said...

Have a short story to tell - happened before I was born. My older brother and sister were always fighting and it drove my folks nuts. They (my sibs) loved to visit the grandparents in eastern WA (we lived in western WA). My folks told them they were all going to visit the grands and threw the suitcases in the car. They didn't get out of town before older bro and sis started in on each other in the back seat ("Mom, she's crossed over the line into my siiiiide!!")....my Dad turned the car around and they went straight back home. Wasn't until many years later when my sibs were middle aged that my folks told them that the suitcases had been empty, all along!!!!!!!!!!!!

jean said...

Hopefully today will be a better day, but good for you for not giving in to them and rewarding them for their bad behavior. MAYBE they will think about that the next time they start to act up (but don't hold your breath). There are days that I'm glad that I don't have kids...

Sally said...

OMG....are you sure you weren't watching an episode of our lives? My 11 year old daughter does the exact same thing and I get so pissed about it!!!

My 4 year old tells me all the time that "You are not my mom anymore"....REALLY....AWESOME!!

I bet that nap was great!!!!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this post Kristie. I've recently seen little smidgets of this type of "attitude" in my six-year old and it frustrates me to no end. Your posts reminds me that I need to stop making idle threats and set real consequences for behaving badly. Bravo to you for sticking to your guns and holding the kids accountable for their behavior. Bravo to the girls for apologizing.

Dianna in Louisiana said...

Forgot to sign my previous post :)

Dianna in Louisiana said...

Forgot to sign my previous post :)

Anonymous said...

Good for you for sticking to your guns! My daughter was so snotty for a while that when we would go out to eat and she was mouthing off, we just left her home. Once, while camping about 20 minutes from home, she was so awful that we made her go home for the day (she was old enough to stay home alone)and her brother unhooked the cable from the house so she couldn't spend the day watching TV, she just had to sit and stew about her behavior! Ooh, she was mad! They are both grown up now and a joy to have around. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel, Kristie!
Sheila-MN

Anonymous said...

I've laughed at this until I cried. I figured something was wrong since I continued to cry. Wee, I'm not alone.

Lately for me, I've been repeating "I'm not going to tell you again" after I've already asked them (15, 11, & 8) to do something more than once. Yesterday, I realized I was asking them to make their beds at 6 o'clock...PM. Today, I told them when I woke them for school that they were going to make their beds first thing or they could just leave. My 11 yo son even took some old stuffed animals out of his closet to decorate his bed.

Tomika

Oh, LOL at Debbie @ 1:12 AM

Tammy said...

You are not alone my friend. I hope you have those cute little baby pictures in eyes view at all time, thats the only thing that keeps me from ringing some necks over here! Hugs from Fort Worth! P.S. they do grow up and move out at some point, then they'll bring their 2 yr old over to make a mess and you get to tell them to clean up after your kid, or else I'll get my stick, it still fits your ass, lol!

Anonymous said...

Kristi,
I'm so sorry that you had such a lousy Wednesday. With 2 teenage boys, I've had those days too. We have a term at our house "STA" Stinky Teen Attitude. We started using it when the were like 9-12. Basically, everyone gets it, but what are "you" going to do with it. When we see it rearing its ugly head, our code word to them is "STA" and that is their cue that they're being rude. Sometimes it works!
You're a great mom and doing a great job!

Anne in GA

Anonymous said...

I would have handled it the SAME EXACT WAY!!!!! and I would have had the same angst you felt when they came to apologize!!!And my girls are the same way(more often then I like). I tell them they are INGRATES! CLUNK,UMPH,CRASH did u hear that? It's the mother of the year pushing me to the floor to claim her award.

Jo Anne, Pete's sis

Mamasita said...

Been there, done that, got a T-shirt.

I, too, tell my kids that my goal is the mean mom of the year award. I know that I am so close to getting it every year, but maybe this year I'll cinch it. As long as you don't do something else so horribly mean as trying to teach your kids how to be responsible and empathetic! How dare you try to raise them with those kind of morals? (you can sense the sarcasm, I hope.)

In all seriousness, WAY TO GO!!

Jan Ross said...

As a teacher, I have to tell you that You did EXACTLY the right thing. Most parents would have ignored the bad behavior and taken them to the movie anyway. Believe me, that affects their attitude everywhere else - especially at school!

Stacie from MN said...

It is just so nice to know it's not just my kids! You should have seen the fit my 13 year old son threw on Sunday when my husband & I decided we'd stop for lunch at Famous Dave's. They honestly, seriously, think we should ALWAYS have to pick restaurants that they like, and that there has to be some super fabulous reason why we picked it if it's not where they want to go. Hello...because we want to IS a reason, and considering we were paying, it is a pretty dang good reason!

Deanne S. said...

Kristie, I have been a long time lurker on your site since your caringbridge days. You have brought me out of "lurkdom" (is that a word) with this post. You have described my family at time to a T and I love it!!!!! When you're dealing you always think there is no possible way another family acts like this. I love my girls dearly, but do I like them sometimes. Hell no!!!!!!!!

Shannon said...

Are you sure you had "your" children and not mine. I am so sorry, I didn't know they had escaped north of the Red River to your house.

Oh, and I thought I was the only one who gave the cashiers the reason to throw the "look" at the customers behind me...

Good Times, Good Times...
Shannon

Rosemary said...

I know I'm repeating what you have heard in the 47 comments before me, but I just have to say WAY TO GO KRISTIE!!.. I have days just like that with my 14 and 16 year olds.. sometimes I feel like the more we give them, the less they appreciate it. I have always been one to believe that actions bring consequences.. My kids say that "everyone else" has moms who let them do things when their grades are suffering.. or who's parents don't care if they watch TV or text "all the time".. My reply? Good for them!! Yesterday I told my 14 year old when she gave me 'the look' that I know I'm doing my job when she looks at me like that. I am their parent, not their friend.. they don't always like me, and I don't always like them, but I will always, always, LOVE THEM. Even when they make me sick..

Please keep writing these 'real' posts.. as you can tell, they hit a nerve with alot of your faithful readers!!!

I love the STA suggestion in the comment above.. I think we'll try that.. I did tell my daughter that I'll touch my cheek if I feel she's being disrespectful (before I call her out and embarrass her in front of friends) and that seems to work well.. she usually grins and mouths 'sorry' if I do that.. sometimes what she thinks is funny strikes me as RUDE.

Denise said...

Thanks for your honesty, and humor! I had 'one of those days' yesterday and let's just say I won't have one of those plaques on my wall either!

Claire said...

Must have been bratty Wednesday. I took my kids to the park after school..we have a semi standing date with the neighborhood friends to meet at the park on Wednesdays. Anyway, I brought them to see THEIR freinds and they fought and complained the whole time. UGH! I told them I was not bringing them back! And when we got home, I retreated to my bedroom too! Yes tomorrow will be better!

Hennifer said...

oh my goodness!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is the stuff they don't tell you about and that everyone likes to pretend doesn't exist. And you know what? It does, it sucks, and it doesn't mean you don't love them!

I hope they learn from this. I always feel so conflicted when I make those kinds of decisions and stick to them.

I personally think it sounds like you did the right thing!

Have you tried this one? I just used it and was surprised at its effectiveness ---

"when you act like that in public it makes other people think I am a bad mom. That I don't know how to raise children that behave... etc"

He was like "what? I don't think you are a bad mom!" I explained again and I got a sincere apology. My heart grew I swear

Anonymous said...

You go girl! I am so proud of you for taking them home and not going back on your word!! My kids do the same thing sometimes when I offer to take them out to dinner while my husband is out town. They act like it is a chore! I have finally stopped asking them. I am hoping that eventually when they have to pay for things with their own money, they will realize when a treat is a treat!!!

mom25in5 said...

Yup...been there...done that...gonna do it again...far more than I'd care to.

That's where I crank the stereo in the car so I don't have to listen and they start screaming because their ears are bleeding! Aaah, payoff of all that bar hopping practice in my 20s.

Wouldn't trade 'em, mostly. Way to go girl...keep it up...


56-in-January-Must-Be-Missouri-Mom to:

Daniel-13
Scott-12
Bryan-10
Sarah-8
Dana-8

Anonymous said...

I don't think we should feel guilty for standing up for ourselves. We bust our chops to keep the family as stress free and smooth running as possible. We repeat the same exact thing 1 million times a day; speech or action. We need to have patience that knows no bounds. The least we should expect are gratefulness, recognition/appreciation once in a while and respect.
sincerely, mom of 4.

katy said...

Good job. You will be glad one day you stood your ground and your children will understand they are better people because of it.

Donna said...

You are not alone and you did the right thing! It will get better! My last two children headed off to college this past fall. When they came home at Thanksgiving, I wondered who these nice young adults were who showed up at my house. It is amazing what a few months of doing laundry and eating crappy cafeteria food results in gratitude for the home that they couldn't wait to leave!

Mommy to those Special Ks said...

Ah yes, we've been there. I totally agree you did the right thing! They'll think twice next time.

Anonymous said...

I was waiting for you to say you forgot to turn the crock-pot on...

Alisa said...

doesn't it feel good to know you are not alone?
Love family nights, except for when I don't!

kimybeee said...

One word - AMEN!!

My kids wander why I love my cats so much - give me a litter box over a brat anyday!!!

Anonymous said...

You should come up with a code word that refers back to this for the kids.
It should trigger the little ones into instant guilt. Maybe? "hotel no way" said under your breath, maybe with a hint of freddie kruger??

Suzanne said...

I believe you jit the nail on the head with "the more we give to them, the more they expect."
I'm just now realizing this about my kids. You want to give them everything you never had and try to make fun nights with them and they just look past the good of it. I know how you feel. It's so damn frustrating!
Sigh.

Anonymous said...

Somedays I really just like the concept of children.

You're my hero. I love a mom that doesn't roll over and reward that lovely store behavior that we've all experienced.....sadly!

Dixie

Anonymous said...

Giiirl, I feel your pain! Thanks for making us all feel better that our kids aren't the only ones. We took the kids to the circus - THE CIRCUS, for GOD's SAKE - the other day, and spent way too much money. And we were even going to buy them one of those over-priced, piece of junk, plastic light sabers and they ran out of them before we got there. And that was MY fault for not getting there in time! Then, when I asked them what their favorite part of the night was, I got, "Well, what WOULD'VE been my favorite part was the light saber if YOU hadn't waited so long for us to get one!" I literally wanted to kill him. I went into a tirade about how much fun we had had, and how much money we had spent and blah, blah, blah. But I should have just packed them all up and headed home. Kudos for you to have the gumption to do it. May next Wednesday be better!

Alayna

Donna said...

Thank all that is holy this happens to other moms!!!!! We had this exact same experience the other day, only with Madagascar 2 and we got our candy at Target (not that we took it into the movie because that would be cheating and wrong one state north of you too)!!!

I however, did not turn around and go home, though I really wanted to. They got humble pretty fast after I gave them a smack down in the car about how some kids NEVER get to go out for fast food, let alone gripe about WHICH fast food place to visit.

My 6-year-old proceeded to ask for every single item of candy he had purchased before the pre-show commercials had even begun and did not stop badgering me until he had wiped his peppermint pattied hands on my shirt in lieu of a chaperoned trip to the bathroom.

I took a nap in the middle of the movie. Sigh.

Lisa L said...

Just reading these responses..I hope you feel totally,awesomely good about how you handled Family Wednesday! Talk about support, sista! Been there, done that with my young uns too...

Katie said...

I have had the 'you little ingrate' conversations way too often lately.

Hayley finally pushed my buttons far enough that my fury won over my cheapskatedness and I refused to take her to her (hard-earned money paid for, you little ingrate) ballet lesson tonight. Interestingly she chose to clean the room she was banished to for the rest of the afternoon. I have a meek little hope that somehow, someway, I finally managed to hit a nerve with her.

The rest of 'em... I'll think about that tomorrow.

I'm just glad to know I'm not alone.

DeborahB said...

That plaque has NEVER been in my house. Ever. So I feel you. I would have, and HAVE done, the same thing. It's hard for me to follow through on stuff like that, so I'm so glad to read when moms like you do! Good for you. I bet next week's Family Fun Night (if there is one) will be much different. Kids can be bratty, ungrateful, whiny boogers, no doubt. I'm glad you chose the nap over a 2-hour @ss whoopin, which is what I would have picked. Yay for you Kristie!!

Natalie said...

I meant to tell you that I am willing to loan you the plaque on my wall that says Best Mother of the Year. Oh waaaaaait just a second. Egad! It says Worst Mother of the Year. Apparently I wasn't using my reading glasses/bifocals/binoculars or whatever it is I need to see these days.

Trish in Leesburg, VA said...

Good for you for not giving in when they were acting that way! :) I think you deserve the mom of the year plaque for not giving in!

LisaMM said...

Man, I feel your pain. So often when I plan something fun for my family, it turns into a big fat whine fest, and I can never do enough for the ungrateful little stinkers.

I took mine to see Hotel for Dogs last weekend. I vowed before Christmas that I would no longer buy expensive, high calorie drinks at the theater- they give out ice water for free and that is all they need to choke down their popcorn. Daughter #2 wanted an Icee and when I said "No- you know the rules"- she said loudly "What's the big deal Mom? It's only $3.75!" This after spending $30 to get the four of us in to see a stupid movie that my husband and I couldn't have cared less about!! Ugh, I can't get over the attitude sometimes.

You definitely did the right thing. I also have a hard time accepting apologies from my kids when I'm not 'over it' yet and when I feel they aren't sincere.

Crockpots and naps- mommy's best friends!

jadine said...

I have not read the comments yet (because I want my comment to be FRESH!)...

Mine aren't exactly whiners, but they are arguers. The problem is that I'm a latent arguer, too, and they freakin' suck me in! I find myself (after going 'round and 'round without even noticing that I've been sucked into the vortex) speaking in an outdoor-voice (yelling) that "I'm not going to argue about this!" Yeah, after arguing about 'this' for several minutes. (((Fist slams into own forehead.))) Note: I said my *own* forehead.

Also? I will accept apologies, but sometimes say that I understand that they are sorry, that I will forgive the transgression, but that sometimes things are so bad that it takes a while for my mad to go away. I think that's a good lesson. And it's true. Sometimes it takes a really, really, REALLY long time for the mad to go away.

Sigh.

Cathy said...

I am late to comment but you did the RIGHT thing. It's hard to do the right thing sometimes.

My daughter saw Hotel for Dogs with a friend and she talked about it a lot and what a good movie it was, maybe you'll get to see it eventually.

Cathy said...

I am late to comment but you did the RIGHT thing. It's hard to do the right thing sometimes.

My daughter saw Hotel for Dogs with a friend and she talked about it a lot and what a good movie it was, maybe you'll get to see it eventually.