Saturday, August 18, 2007

Two Things

Awhile back, someone asked me in the comment section if I would mind sharing some of my scrapbook work sometime. I am no where near the caliber of scrapbooker whose work you can find in books and magazines and all over the web, but it’s a hobby I enjoy and am always complaining that I can’t seem to make the time to do it often enough. Perhaps if I took the time I spend *complaining* and used it actually *scrapping* the problem would solve itself.

I finished this layout a few days ago and liked it, so I thought I would share it with you. It accomplishes two things:

1. Lets me give you yet another peek into our private lives (oh, joy for you, I know, try not to strain yourself with happiness) and,
2. Saves me from having to think of anything else to blog about

Two things from the comment section recently:

1. Yes, my computer is working fine now. It was just that one program that got messed up and after I marched my happy self back to the store, they fixed it for me. Fixed, in the sense that they agreed the program was fried and gave me a pirated bootlegged stolen gently borrowed copy of another one, and,
2. Ah, yes, the great High School Musical Sequel last night. Of COURSE we were all glued to the TV at “8/7 Central, Mom. We’ve got to record it!!!” It was hokey, and predictable, and despite the fact she’s the oh-so-cute-and-perky-heroine, that Gabriella is so sickeningly sweet I have the urge to give myself an insulin shot every time she’s on the screen. I have no doubt that thanks to the DVR, I’ll be treated to several encores this weekend. Yippy. Skippy.

And my mom is here now, which can only mean two things:

1. Surgery this week for Blaine, and
2. Egads, the return of the dreaded one dollar bills.

But for now, I include the following scrapbook layout for your viewing pleasure, because, yet another perk, it keeps me from having to type up the very last Alaska update. Hey, if I haven’t TYPED that it’s over, then it’s really not over, right???







Journaling as follows:

“Growing up, I was part of a stereo-typical nuclear family -- two parents, two kids, one dog, one house. Although I had obviously heard of divorce, I hadn’t experienced it up close and personal. Perhaps that’s why when I first met Blaine, I was a little confused (ie, stupid) about the inner-workings of a step-family. Blaine explained to me that his mom, Shirley, had divorced his biological father when he was very young. The man she married, Rodney, moved the family from Texas to Oklahoma, adopted Blaine, and raised him as his own. Blaine’s four older siblings all eventually migrated back to Texas to live with their father, but not Blaine. He never had a relationship with his father, who died before I met Blaine.

“When Blaine and I first started dating, anytime he said anything about his “dad”, I would interrupt him to ask, “Rodney? Or your real dad?” until finally one day Blaine said to me, “Look. Rodney IS my real dad. He raised me, he took care of me, he loves me. HE is my dad.” I didn’t realize how prophetic and wise those words would be until years later, when Blaine and I were in the process of adopting Brayden.

“My favorite story about the relationship between Blaine and Rodney took place when we were expecting Kellen. Knowing that the type of muscular dystrophy my father had was genetic, we were sent to visit a genetic counselor during the pregnancy. Worried, nervous, we sat across the desk from her, ready to answer her questions and listen to what she had to say to us. She started out by taking our initial information, and the conversation went a little something like this:

Counselor: “So, besides the myotonic muscular dystrophy, and his heart problems, does your father have any other major health concerns? No? OK, what about your mother?”

Kristie: “Oh, my mom’s in excellent health.”

Counselor: “OK, Blaine, what about *your* mom?”

And Blaine went on to tell the counselor about his mother’s brain aneurysm years before, and how she had been on kidney dialysis for years -- in essence, poor health like my dad.

Then the counselor asked, “What about your dad? How is his health?”

And Blaine replied, “Excellent, my dad’s very healthy and active.”

At which point I turned to him and said, “Uh, Yeah. --- Except he’s DEAD!

For just a second, Blaine had a very blank look on his face. Then he turned to the counselor and said, “Oh, that’s right. My dad is dead.”

And I burst out laughing.

I’m not sure if the counselor thought we were too ignorant to be parents (who forgets that their father has died???) or perhaps too cold-hearted, considering it *appeared* I was laughing at the fact Blaine’s dad was dead. But I was really laughing at the fact that after all these years, Blaine was still letting me know, even in his own way, that Rodney really WAS his dad, no matter what the birth certificate or blood line might say.”

16 comments:

Lisa said...

I remember - what seems like very recently - you saying that you were all going to take a break before Blaines next round of surgery - that sure has come around quickly. I'm ashamed to say I've even lost track of what the next step is for him and what his current status is - think we need an update :) Please know he is in my prayers - as are you all - cancer is so cruel and you seem to have had more than your fair share. Hope Lager is ok. X

Dayna said...

My husband is adopted also, however, by both parents. Never ONCE has he referred to his bio parents as his "real" parents. He has real parents, the ones who raised him, he has bio parents... and that's what he calls them... my biological parents. He has never had contact with them, however his bio mom graciously shared medical information with the adoption agency when our daughter was first being diagnosed.

I love that Blaine calls him his REAL Dad... after all... that's what he is.

Can you update us on where Blaine is at with the surgery/treatment - we need to know what we should be praying for.

Kelli said...

My prayers to you and Blaine as you get ready for the next round of surgery. Hope all goes well!

I love your scrapbook page! You really have a gift for it, especially the journaling, which is my weakness. Usually the best scrapbook pages are the ones that are simple. Great job!

Kristen said...

I love how you can convey such heartfelt sentimentality with such a kick @#$ sense of humor. I love your blog!

scanmom said...

Hi. I was adopted by my step-dad when I was 7. I consider him my dad, his name now resides on my birth certificate. I call my "other" dad, the sperm donor father. That is about all he did. I totally know what Blaine is talking about.

Ellen

Amy said...

Kristie,
I love the layout and the story of Blaine and his dad. I had my oldest son, Austin before I met my husband. It was Austin's 1st birthday that I first talked to Matt, my future husband. We feel in love and were married 5 months later. Matt eventually adopted Austin and his bio-dad died when he was 3. Austin never had a relationship with him and he was pretty much a loser.
So I understand all about Real Dad's, they are the one's that are always there.
Tell Blaine were praying for him!

Anonymous said...

My husband adopted my son too. When we got engaged in Dec 98, Joshua (then 7) started telling people that in May Brian was going to be his dad. We never had this conversation with him and had decided we would follow his lead. From the day we got married he has called him Dad. A year and a half later, the adoption was finalized. His GC (genetic contributor, sounds nicer than sperm donor) is not involved, although his family is. Any referrence of "dad" refers to my husband without a thought. I could not ask for a better dad for Joshua or the two biological children we have, or the nephew who also lives with us. Gotta love all these boys :-)

My thoughts and prayers are with you guys and you gear up for another procedure.

Sheri in CA

Anonymous said...

From a different perspective, I'm getting married in two weeks to a wonderful man with a beautiful 8 year old daughter whose "real mother" isn't much involved in her life. She's so excited about me becoming her mom, yet so torn as to where her loyalties should lie. Since my soon to be husband has full custody of our daughter, she will (and does) live with us full time. I've been worried that I would forever be relegated to "not quite mom" status, even though I'm the one who lives with this child, takes care of her, puts band-aids on her boo-boos, and chases her through the house for hugs. Your blog today, as well as the other comments, have reassured me that, although I can never replace my daughter's mother, I can also be someone just as special to her. Thanks for writing about this.

Cheryl
WR, GA

Anonymous said...

Love your scrapbook page. Your journaling is what makes it so special. You have a gift.
Lisa C. in CT

Grandma J said...

I will remember Blaine in my prayers with this round of treatment.
What a nice tribute to his "real dad".
I love the pictures of Lager, so handsome and distinguished looking!
I'm sure he considers you his "real mom" and Blaine his "real dad".
Janice

Anonymous said...

First and most importantly, lots of prayers to Blaine on this next journey.

I was adopted as an infant. I met my "birth" sisters a year ago. They're very nice, but I have no doubt who my "real" family is and always has been. My parents are both dead now, but when I see them again, I will remember to say "Thank You" for all the times when I probably forgot to!

Dixie in CA

cakeburnette said...

gotta agree...as another adoptee, I have to admit that I've actually said to my mom, "did that happen before you 'had' me," forgetting that she hadn't actually given birth to me. Which is very funny seeing that I am Asian and she is NOT. :) I've always said that real parents are the ones who do the parenting and not the ones who donate genetic material--I just wish all those dorky daytime tv shows would realize this and stop doing those idiotic "find your real family" shows!

tammy said...

Very nice layout Kristie...i miss scrapping together!

I do the "bribe ya with a dollar" thing too, in fact I am going to see my nieces and nephews and have "get lots of cash" on my to-do list for bribes :) hey, it works!

Anonymous said...

I had to laugh at your scrapbook journal and your discussion with the doctor. My husband also has a "real dad" who adopted him when his parents married and a biological dad that is dead now. I know exactly what you mean about "real dads". We'll be praying for Blaine this week!!

Gayle-AL

Jenny said...

I love the story about Blaine and his dad. Made me smile for sure!

Know we're praying for him (and you!) as he tackles this next step.
Hugs,
Jenny

Jennifer Hines said...

I was laughing so hard reading this one!!! You never cease to make me laugh! Wish my blog was as funny!

Are you going to update us all all on your surogacy experiences?

Also, Please know that I am praying for Blaine. Keep up updated so we can ask for specific prayers.