Monday, August 20, 2007

Jinxes

Thanks to those of you who’ve inquired about Blaine and wished him luck during this week’s surgery. We’re leaving tomorrow to drive to Augusta, which is three hours away --- not far enough to really be considered “far”, but too far for me to drive back and forth every day, hence the reason Grandma Betty and her magical wad of bribing dollar bills were summoned.

Now, if you know me at all by now, and I think that you do, you know that I am the Queen of Jinxing Things, and through the years I’ve learned it’s just best, with regards to Blaine and the ongoing Saga That Is His Medical Fiasco, to keep my trap shut. Because if a situation can be jinxed, I am the one who will inadvertently jinx it with my big fat mouth. I’ve learned in the past that things rarely go as planned and it’s probably better if I don’t set goals or broadcast timelines, especially out loud, since Blaine has single-handedly redefined the concept of “one step forward, two steps back” through the years. Yes, that’s right. I said YEARS. Did you know it’s been FOUR AND A HALF YEARS since his original cancer diagnosis?

Let’s see …. What can happen in the span of four and a half years? Let’s think of a few, just for comparison’s sake, shall we? A person could purchase, and pay off, a car. Begin, and graduate from, college. Meet a guy, date, get engaged, get married, get divorced. Or, assuming you stay married, get pregnant, give birth, and celebrate both the first, second, and third birthdays. When Blaine was in the hospital, having the very first, very, very first-est ever surgery, to remove the original tumor ---- we were sitting in his hospital room watching television when they announced we had gone to war with Iraq. So as long as our country has been at war, Blaine has had cancer, or been struggling with the after-effects of the reconstruction complications caused by his cancer and radiation.

Wow. That pretty much sucks.

But! OK, here goes. {tossing salt over my shoulder, crossing my fingers, holding my four-leaf clover, rubbing my genie lamp and my rabbit’s foot, nailing a horseshoe over my door, stepping over the cracks on the sidewalk, finding a heads up penny, breaking the long half of the wishbone, seeing a shooting star, crossing my fingers, and last, but not least, knocking on this piece of shit computer desk …. }

This should be Blaine’s very last major surgery.

I know!

Who ever though we would see the day where that goal was reached???? Where we could say those words aloud??? Ok, yeah, I know, we’ve actually said it several times in the past already and there’s always a complication or two. He always winds up catching the flu or getting an infection or needing a trach or having a tissue failure or, oh, I don’t know, getting his freaking cancer back ---- but we really think this might be IT this time!

This surgery is to separate the part of his cheek that adhered too tightly to his gums after the last graft surgery. The graft surgery that happened unexpectedly when his second free flap surgery wasn’t completely successful. The second free-flap surgery that happened unexpectedly when his first free-flap surgery wasn’t completely successful ---- you see how this is going, right?

But assuming he doesn’t have any complications, assuming he doesn’t adversely react to the anesthesia, or get food poisoning from the hospital food, or pick up another staph infection, or slip in the hotel parking lot and fall and break his freaking ankle (!! Crap, I just jinxed it, now he’s going to break his ankle!!) then this should be the last surgery.

He’ll still have quite a bit of prosthodontic work to be done before he has teeth permanently attached to his posts/implants. But at long last, he’ll be able to begin resting and recuperating from the fifteen surgeries and five weeks of radiation he’s undergone since this thing started. It’s been six months since his last surgery (Remember, he had surgery scheduled for last April but it was postponed when he got the flu like a weenie) and I don’t think he has felt this good physically since the whole ordeal began. This break has been a good thing.

So, if you could wish us luck, and keep him in your prayers just one more time, it would mean a lot to us. I feel like maybe, hopefully, possibly, for the first time, we can see an inkly, twinkly, sparkly, smidgen of light at the end of his tunnel. It would be fabulous to think we are nearing the end.

Or, you know, the nurse taking care of him this week will walk down the hall towards his room to take his vitals, slip on a banana peel, fall to the ground, accidentally pushing an empty wheelchair as she goes down, which will roll into Blaine’s room, crashing into the wall holding the Sharps container, which will fall on Blaine’s head, causing all the used needles contaminated with infectious diseases to rain down upon him, and the one filled with flesh eating bacteria will accidentally puncture his skin, causing his outer layers of soft tissue to become infected and fall off, which will require an extensive stay in the hospital while he receives life-sustaining, supportive care for organ and respiratory failure.

And I will kill the nurse. And go to jail for the rest of my life. In which case all my future blogger updates will be written from solitary confinement at the state penitentiary.

Oh, crap. Did I just jinx myself???

30 comments:

Amanda Jennings said...

Augusta ... aww, I was born and raised there. I'm out in Arizona now, but my dad still lives there... I hope the city treats you well.

Make sure you clear the hospital of any and all bananas and their peels. Because we really wouldn't want that last scenario in your blog to happen. Heheh.

Good luck guys! Keeping my fingers crossed for complete success!

Anonymous said...

First! Really?

OK, we're praying and crossing all our body parts so do not get in the way or try to jinx them in any way, because these prayers are very powerful!

Dixie in CA

Anonymous said...

OK...so second was good, too!

Dixie

Beth said...

Prayers for you and Blaine. Your sense of humor must be one of the saving graces of all this crap you guys have faced.

Damn cancer. And damn all the difficulties. You guys are NOT going to be jinxed this time :D

Pink Lady said...

Crossing my fingers, saying prayers and knocking on wood for Blaine and all ya'll!

KathyA said...

Hiya Kristie - KathyA of the Lee jeans suggestion about an eon ago. Been following you and Kendrie and the B-man for a long time now and am turning on all the prayers for you all this week.

I've read your humor and I have read your tears through the years, and I must say that I am blown away by all you and your family have endured and all you've pulled yourselves through.

Don't worry about jinxes - you've had your share and then some. Time for healing and a new life for you all.

With much affection and many prayers,

KathyA

Kim said...

***Attention Escoe Family*** It is now time to leave the cafeteria, please quickly exit the cafeteria!! In other words, I think it's high time that your family stop being served crap sandwiches, that in fact, you leave the cafeteria altogether, as God knows you have had enough to last several generations of lifetimes.

Saying extra prayers for Blaine this week, that it all goes so perfectly, smoothly, better than could ever be expected, and you all ride off on white stallions to the perfectly planned house in OK and live happily ever after with your kids playing with cousins and enjoying the school with all it's sentimental ties...

Really. Tell Blaine we are sending our best from CA and will pray for healing.

love, The Spragues
www.caringbridge.org/ca/andrew

Kristen said...

You and your family are definitely in our prayers. We're also praying for his nurse too!

Kim said...

BTW, just to point out how your luck has changed (for the better)...I have read 3 (THREE!!) newspaper article recently, about planes crashing while touring Alaska....the most recent in Ketchikan (I wouldnt even have paid attention, if not for reading your Alaskan adventures...) So, anyways, see how lucky you are? You all enjoyed the vacation with no crashes.....even despite your fear of plane crashes.....so, you are on a lucky streak, may you continue to ride it long past Blaine's surgery.

Anonymous said...

Ok, you just crack me up. Are you sure that Blaine isn't going to fall out of the bed laughing at something you said and break a hip. Whoops! Don't mean to jinx anything and if he breaks his hip do NOT come looking for me, ok?

Sheesh, four and a half years. My God, that is a long, long time.

Can I add something? Four and a half years is long enough for Kendrie to be diagnosed, go through chemo, go OT and be healthy. Believe me, as someone who is nearly 2 years into the whole ALL chemo thing, I just can't fathom what it must be like to deal with cancer with your child and spouse at the same time and then still be dealing so much later...

Anyway, best of luck to Blaine. May this really be IT.

I think you need some kind of special award, too, while we are at it...maybe all the Dr Pepper you can drink for life???

Marie
www.caringbridge.org/visit/marielle

kim said...

Prayers too numerous to mention. Plus, crossed digits and a little rubbing of the rabbit's foot, for good measure. This time, everything is going to be fine!

Lisa said...

Praying that this really is the last surgery for you Blaine and that you can put cancer behind you. Lots of prayers and I hope Grandma has lots of dollar bills.

Wilson said...

We'll be keeping Blaine (and indeed the whole Escoe family and Grandma & her magical dollar bills) in our prayers. It's about time Blaine catches a break and comes through a surgery with no unexpected complications. In fact, it's time for one of these surgeries to go really, really well, isn't it? Can we hope for a recovery faster than medical experts expect? Good luck! You'll be in our thoughts!

Anonymous said...

Praying, praying and praying some more for you. Blaine you and your whole family are a real inspiration. You have shown that it is possible to go on and "live" even though you have cancer. I pray that things go better than expected and Kristie is at Walmart letting the kids spend all their dollar bills before you know it. Bubbles in NC

Safire said...

Just move the sharps container when you get there...no chance of it falling on him when it's not over his head! :) Good luck!

The Running Girl said...

Sending prayers that all goes well with Blaine's surgery and that this IS the last surgery he has. Your family has just put up with way too much, and it's time for it to be over.

Briana

Anonymous said...

Good luck Blaine with your VERY LAST surgery! We'll be praying for a speedy recovery here in Texas! And Kristi, keep you darn mouth shut, this is all going to work out just fine, cuz I said so! Safe travels ya'll. Tammy in Fort Worth

Eloise said...

More thoughts and prayers headed your way from Texas. Hope Blaine's surgery goes spectacularly well or, at the very least, predictably and uneventfully. Take care of Nurse Kristie, too. Surely she's clocked in enough hours by now to qualify for early retirement?

Stephanie D. said...

OK Escoe's - here's all my good luck and most frantic prayers that this FINAL surgery goes perfectly. I mean, not just "goes well", but perfectly. The crap sandwich is all gone and it's now time for you all to feast on filet mignon....well, at least Blaine could "gum" his steak. :)

Best of luck and keep us posted Kristie....I know you will!!!

Beverly said...

Blaine, you, your children, your mother, all other remoted related family, all friends past, present and future, all your caregivers - and oh, heck, everyone in the world are in my prayers.

Maybe you should put a paper bag over your head until this is over.

Nancy V said...

Kristie and Blaine,

My prayers are for a successful and uneventful surgery and recovery! Hang in there you guys! And good luck to Grandma!

Best wishes,
Nancy Vinson
All-kids
caringbridge.org/in/matthewk

LeeAnne said...

Kristie and Blaine, I'm sending up prayers and crossing everything I have for smooth sailing and complete, hazard-free recovery and healing! Good luck!!!

Anonymous said...

Dear Kristy and Blaine,
Wishing you all the luck in the world and praying that Blaine's operation will be good and that this will be the last one!
Take care,
Love Angela

Tracey from Calgary said...

Best of luck to you both, many prayers coming your way for an uneventful surgery, quick and successful healing, Kristie sharing the chocolate....no jinxes allowed!

Anonymous said...

Keeping Blaine and your family in my prayers. Crossing everything for a successful LAST surgery.


Liz from Md.

Patricia, Savannah said...

Only one question as I don't want to jinx it either....are you SURE your mom has enough dollar bills??? lol!!

Lanny said...

Prayers that this is IT, that IT is as pain free as possible, and for a speedy recovery. Prayers for you too! :)

katy said...

If you do go to jail would you start a movement to get them to change the stripes on the uniforms to vertical instead of horizontal? I haven't even ever had a speeding ticket but if I ever have to kill someone for something important like taking the last freakin cream filled crispy cream then I need vertical stripes. Orange doesn't go well with my hair either...
We are all thinking of you and Blaine and wish you luck...surely all of our crossed fingers will reverse your jinx.

Clara Zimmerman said...

Best wishes for an excellent surgery and recovery with no jinxes!

Anonymous said...

Dear Kristie and Blaine:

Warm and sincere best wishes for this to be your last and most successful surgery. Truly hope ALL goes your way....and better than you EVER allowed yourselves to hope for.
And - as for Kristie and her superstitions - well you covered all the generic ones - now you need to research the specific ones and cover all your basis - for example - make sure you have 18 cents in your pocket (good luck change and l8 stands for "life" in Jewish) - along with the salt over your left shoulder - add kaynahorah ptuii ptuii ptuii (just ask Zachary's dad about the potential consequences of not chanting that one - did it for you just in case your not quite convinced - no sense testing fate at this point) and as for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow -well evidently your kids are already planning their shopping spree for more of what they don't "need" but think they "want" - for the moment anyway.
And Kristie - please don't forget your comfort chocolates - consider it a jinx buster and ENJOY!!!
Cyber fans on board, fingers and toes crossed for you - my head has always been quite twisted (according to my children) so you are good to go and then on to better times:)
Looking forward to a wonderful update with the only bitching being about cold handed nurses!!
Love and good wishes......Randy