Friday, February 09, 2007

On To More Pressing Matters

Thanks to all for the kind notes about Blaine’s MRI results. We agree with the no-definitive-news-is-good-news theory. Because their *is* a mass there, and he hasn’t been able to lift his arm above a ninety degree angle since his surgery last November, we think his primary care manager will send him to see an orthopedist (of course we can’t be sure about that because his PCM hasn’t bothered to call him, in fact, didn’t even return his call about these results ..... however, that’s a rant for another day) but in the meantime, as long as the report didn’t come back with “flaming ball of shoulder cancer” as the diagnosis, then we’re pretty stoked.

Since Blaine hadn’t planned on being home from the hospital this early, he didn’t have to go in to work today. He stayed home, answering e-mail and for the most part, fiddling with his new Blackberry like a kid with a new toy which I guess he pretty much is helping keep the world a safer place.

He also wandered around a good portion of the day with his head cocked to one side, suddenly marveling at all the sounds he had been missing and had apparently forgotten about. I guess when you’ve been practically deaf in one ear for two years, and then suddenly get the majority of the hearing back, it would seem quite exciting. Birds chirping, dogs barking, it was all comment-worthy. It was cute, the first several times, when he marveled at the sound of the rain outside, and could hear Lager coming down the hallway in advance. Suddenly the TV wasn’t quite as loud, which I certainly appreciated, but the eighth or ninth time he wondered in amazement at the **woosh!** of our air conditioning intake, it started to get a little old. “Yes, Blaine, I hear the clock ticking, also … it’s not THAT exciting.” But tonight, he had to endure, along with me, the hours and hours of classical music “playing” our older two did, thanks to their elementary school music teacher’s decision to let every child in their grades learn the recorder. Let's just say that both "playing" and "music" are pretty generous terms. I’m fairly sure by the time we had listened to Hot Cross Buns for the 7,325th time, Blaine was wishing he was deaf again.

But enough with Blaine and this cancer talk --- we have a much more pressing issue at hand.

In fact, we’re in crisis mode, people!

It appears, much to my distress, despite the total and complete WRONGNESS of the situation, that my all-time favorite brand of lipstick has been discontinued!!!!

It’s a calamity of ginormous proportion; surely you agree???

I’ve worn the same brand and color of lipstick for TEN YEARS -- since before Brayden was born!! Revlon Colorstay Nude #4 has been in my house longer than my oldest child! I’d like to think that speaks more for my brand loyalty than for my lack of updating my own style, but considering I also still wear some of the same clothes from ten years ago, well, let’s just say Vogue won’t be calling me anytime soon. Unless it's for a makeover article.

So here’s my delimma: I went on ebay because everyone knows you can find pretty much anything you need on ebay … belt buckles made from duct tape, Sonny Bono yard gnomes, a kleenex used by Jessica Alba, etc. And sure enough, there are about twenty-five tubes of *MY* lipstick being offered.

So I googled the shelf life of lipstick and found an estimate of two years. Does anyone know if this is true??? I’m trying to consider how many tubes to stock up on. Because I can’t bear to run out. Of all the great wongs in the world, that would be one of the wrongest. And while I would hate to over-purchase, if they're just going to dry out, the good news is even if I buy too many, I can always stuff two tubes in my ears. Then, *I* won’t have to listen to *Blaine* babble on about how great it is to hear the trash truck coming down the street again.


Kathy in Alaska said...

Hi Kristie,
Ohhh... I do understand the Lipstick Emergency. Yes, lipstick will go rancid over a period of time if left at room temperature. However, it will stay for a long long time (years) if you keep it in the refridgerator. So, go back to Ebay and buy it all up.


Amy said...

I was going to suggest sticking it in the freezer. Then, just pop out a tube when you run out! I would be mortified if they discontinued my favorite!!!!!!! Glad to hear Blaine is feeling and hearing better!


Anonymous said...

I am stinkin' cracking up here in are H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S!!!
Ahhhh, Hot Cross Buns...4th grade flute lessons...I just HAD to BUY the flute. Fortunately, my mom was wise enough to have me "give it a try" for a year...and if I still liked playing the flute at the end of the year, my parents would buy it for me. Can you say "cry every Saturday because you don't want to play the blinking flute AT ALL???". Seriously now, first of all, who gives flute lessons on a SATURDAY, for God's sake?? Thank God I was athletic. Amen.


Tracy said...

So I checked out the lipstick thing and some say 1-2 years others say 4 years. If it smells rancid throw it out. But you can make it last by putting it in the refrigerator like the first person posted.

Good luck...I totally understand what you are going through!

Renee said...

Keith just got a blackberry, too. Sure Blaine is happy that he can hear the **ding** everytime an email comes through. Drives me crazy. Glad Blaine is hearing again. That's great news.
Sorry about the lipstick. MAC did the same thing to me a few years ago and life hasn't been right since. Bastards. The fridge idea sounds reasonable.

Amy Finkler said...

Kristie, I just took my Caboodle (yes I still own a Caboodle) out of my bathroom closet, and I have lipstick in there that I wore to my sisters wedding in 1996. I put it on and it was fine. So...I'm not so sure about the 2 year theory. I would think it would depend on what temperature and environment it was left in for that period of time. I guess nothing goes bad in the fridge, huh?

DeAnn Simon said...

My husband has a Blackberry. I call it a Crack-Berry. He is SO addicted to that thing. God forbid we oh, say, eat dinner or something without him checking his email. Because in the software development world there may be a crisis of epic proportion that will require him to spring from his dinner chair have to save the world... whew... sorry, this turned into my own personal rant.. ha ha! Oh, and I have no idea about lipstick. Sorry!

Anonymous said...

Somedays when the children are their wildest I would like to try "Temporary" hearing lost! ha - Anyway, I am right there with you in Hot Crossed Buns! My son played it over and over and then switched to Mary Had a Little Lamb...over and over. Finally I had had it! I yelled "Mary's lamb died!" My husband started laughing and Jacob (my son) said ok - I'll play something else! I warned him ever so nicely that if I heard Hot crossed buns I was going to go over the edge...he decided to find something else to do! Seriously though, it is a good thing that Blaine can hear much better!!

cakeburnette said...

Crap...that whole Hot Crossed Buns thing is in my immediate future. They made an annoucement at school this week that only 1/2 of the recorders came in so they would not be starting this week. But it is coming and we are AFRAID...

Actually, I had to sub for our music teacher once last year and so I had to play the recorder with the world's most hideous 4th grade class. It was not my finest moment, to say the least.

Connie F-G said...

At our house, it's a chokeberry because it "chokes the life out of you." But, it's nice to have email when we travel since we don't have a lap top!

Our music program stinks so we don't even have recorders. LaRae told me in 4th grade that they were singing a song she did in kindergarten in TX. That class is boring for her so we pay for her music on the outside.

I did have a tube of lipstick get yucky. It got grainy so it felt like there was salt in it. I like the fridge idea.


Missy said...

Kristie, glad to hear that there's no diagnosis of flaming ball of shoulder cancer (LOL).

As for the lipstick, HONEY, I know lipstick. I love lipstick. In fact, I love cosmetics in any form or fashion - and at one time in my college years (read: before children, when I was too poor to buy food but never too poor to buy makeup - I have priorities) I had 632 tubes. I did end up throwing 95% of them away when I got married and we moved into a shoebox/house/hovel that had no storage for such a collection of balms, glosses, tints, and rouges. Some of them smelled a little - sort of rancid, I guess - so yeah, I think there's a limit to their shelf life. But we're talking about stuff I had that was probably 8 to 10 years old.

Then again, there are some I've had for years with no trouble. Maybe if you've opened the lipstick and used it/exposed it to bacteria, that would reduce it's life.

However - all that being said - I say go to eBay and buy it all up. The worst case scenario is that you could re-sell it on eBay. After all, if you're suckered in to buying it, surely there's someone else in the world who would?!?!

Now I need to know about this song you're playing. Who is it and where do I get it?

Patty House said...

I have absolutely no idea about the shelf life of lipstick. I'm too dull and boring to wear any except when getting our family pictures taken at Christmas. lol! I think I've have got tubes that still go on from at least 3 years ago.

Glad Blaine is enjoying the little things in life that will quickly become an annoyance! He'll wish he couldn't hear again, when all he hears is Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, DAD! I've sworn I was going to change my name to anything but Mommy. =)

OKJenn said...

I am laughing at the "labels" for this post. "Blaine hearing lipstick". I have to say if I were hearing lipstick, I'd be pretty excited about it too. Maybe you should try to sell his newfound ability. You are so funny!

kim said...

Kriste--I feel your lipstick pain. In 1982, I found a perfume I loved; not very expensive and not hard to find. Until 1984 when all of a sudden, poof--gone. Do you know I STILL search around for it? Just so it can't be said I'm a slow learner, I'm getting ready to stop the search, though. HA! So, I join the others that say to buy up all you can, and then toss the unopened tubes in the fridge. Then Blaine can go to the fridge and hear lipstick whenever he wants. Voila! Both Escoe parents are happy! Seriously, I'm so glad that things are finally starting to look up some for Blaine and, thus, for you too!

Liz from Maryland said...

Hi Kristie:
A few years ago (at least 4) Estee Lauder discontinued my favorite lipstick. I was lucky enough to find about 10 tubes of it at a flea market so grabbed them. They have been in my dresser drawer for at least 4 years and are still okay. I also heard that refrigerating them keeps them fresh but I've never tried that.
Glad that Blaine had no evidence of any cancer in his MRI. Hope that he continues of the road to recovery.

Care said...

Yes, some genius around here got the idea for recorders as well, so I get to be treated to Hot Cross Buns as well. Since only Noah has one, his brothers accompany him with harmonicas, unwisely purchased as stocking stuffers last Christmas. Remind me from now on to stick to stuff that the batteries can conveniently dissapear from in the future. It's darn near impossible to break a harmonica.

On the lipstick, I think the fridge idea sounds great. I would buy them all. That is a crisis indeed. If they ever discontinue my lipstick I'd do the same thing. (After sending letters to the company pleading for them to reconsider - or if nothing else send me all they have in stock.)

Anonymous said...

I actually ripped a magazine article out of a magazine while I was at work about this very issue (when to throw make up away) so that I could go through all of my years and years of lipsticks that I just cant seem to throw away, and it said to throw lipstick out after 1 year. Sucks, huh. Especially since it takes me over a year sometimes to go through one (I use several colors...usually the freebies from Clinique bonus time because I'm just to cheap to buy freakin lipstick!!!)