Saturday, February 03, 2007

It appears I have discovered ....

The secret to successful public speaking. Or rather, the secret to successfully camouflaging extreme nervousness *while* public speaking. Simply dribble lunch all down the front of your white blouse. Because no-one will notice the nervous blotchy spots on your chest when they are so distracted by the giant blob of chili nacho sauce on your right boob.

Simple enough!

Tune in tomorrow, when I bore thrill you with all the mundane exciting details of our trip. I’m sure you can find something better to do, like de-grout your shower tiles hardly wait!!! One clue …. how we started out in middle Georgia, to give a speech in Kentucky, yet wound up in Ohio the same day. Go figure!

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oooh, chili boobs! Ya know, that's a big turn on for some people. Perhaps I'll try it out on my husband.

But really, I can't wait to hear all the details. My poor shower will have to wait for another day. :-)

Amie in UT

Kathy said...

Kristie... I have waited all day for your update ! Can't wait to hear all about it tomorrow.

kathy (in Alaska)

kim said...

HAHAHAHA--Some people just look good in everything they eat! I JUST CANNOT WAIT to hear the full story! Although I am already feeling a little anxiety over the part about ending up in Ohio, as this undoubtedly involves yet another moronic move by an airline. Since I work for one, I always get slightly uneasy about that. All I can is, I'm glad you're there in Delta country, so I don't have to feel personally responsible for whatever happened. HAHAHAHA! What is it that makes me keep trying to turn YOUR blog (I first typed "blob"--no pun intended!) into all about ME, ME, MORE ME NOW. Sorry, but thank you, too. I obviously crave attention. Seriously, since you can still entertain all of us, I take it as a sign that you did a great job in spite of the boob blob. I CANNOT WAIT TO READ ALL ABOUT IT! Once again, YOU ROCK!

Cathy said...

Too funny! Can't wait to read about another Escoe/airline escapade. And why is it that we, as mothers, spill things all over ourselves and our children go glob-of-chili-free??(or at least that is how it would happen with me!!)I'm sure you did great, even with a chili covered boob!
How are things coming along with Blaine?
Have a great weekend!
Cathy

Kristina said...

Geesh! If I had known you were coming to OHIO I would have waited at the border for you! I am only one hour 30 minutes from the Ohio/Kentucky person and I would love to meet you face to face! When I was a kid we could never go to a Cincinnati Reds baseball game without going to Kentucky first - my dad always missed the exit and over the bridge we'd go! Anyway - I will be IMPATIENTLY waiting and rechecking this site until I see an update appear! Hope you have a good dry cleaners! Cheering you on from Brookville, Ohio

Kristina said...

oops...there's the typo thing...it was suppose to be Ohio/Kentucky BORDER....sorry

Anonymous said...

I am so with you on the "food on the boob" thing..I swear these things on my chest are food magnets! Can't wait to hear about the speech. If your speech was anything like your blog, I'm sure you had a captive audience!

Meg from Americus

Liz Stevens - Sumner, WA said...

I hate to tell y'all this, but it only gets worse with age....being at the higher end of the "fabulous forties" (what idiot thought that one up, I wonder??!!), I have discovered this personally. So, I have now taken to wearing nothing but the color black on top so that less of it (the food, crumbs, etc.) is visible....not a total cure, but it helps!!

Stephanie said...

Can't wait to hear this one. After reading your story on public speaking, I had to tell my high school classes who were preparing for their benchmark speeches. I'm not sure if I made them feel better or worse! I think the food on the boob thing is the reason God made pullover sweaters. I know I'll never leave home without one. :)

Stephanie in Oregon

Pioneer Woman said...

HeeHee! I really need help in this area, and I'm willing to try anything. Chili on the boobs...that might just be the magic bullet I've been seeking.