Monday, November 20, 2006

Back Home. No Thanks To My Imagination.

Kendrie -- OT Day 340 (Woo-Hoo!)

Blaine -- 14 Days Past 2nd Free-Flap Surgery; 6 mo Past Radiation; Lymph Nodes Tested Negative for Cancer; Healing; Hurting; Hoping for Teeth in Six Months.

The Good News: Getting the All-Clear from Blaine’s Seattle doctors to head back home to Georgia.

The Better News: Getting to the Seattle Airport and finding out that your flight to Chicago has been delayed by two hours which means you will miss your connection …. BUT …. American Airlines can re-route you through Dallas and you will still make it home that same day, in fact, five minutes earlier than the original flight.

Even Better News: Finding out that the seats on the final leg of your re-routed flight plan are bulkhead, baby, BULKHEAD!!!!

Best News of All: When the pilot comes on in Dallas and announces they had a **wee** bit of trouble with the landing gear on the last flight, and they need the mechanics to come change a tire on the plane before you can take-off, and this might delay things a bit, and then you wind up sitting on the runway for almost two hours, well, you might spend a few moments thinking about the meal you just had, which will obviously be your very last meal on Earth, EVER, another delicious Au Bon Pain ham & swiss cheese sandwich that you had just enough time to grab during the layover, and then the rest of the delay you’ll be busy prophesizing about your IMMINENT DEATH upon landing, when the new wheel will most certainly be defective and the plane will be forced to emergency land on its belly and then the plane will skid down the runway (I saw Memphis Belle, people, I know about these things!!) and then slide into the lake at the end of the runway, never mind that there are no lakes at the Atlanta airport, but you will have the complete scenario of your demise, either fiery on the runway or watery in the non-existent lake, firmly and painfully etched in your mind and you will agonize over your poor innocent children, who will take care of the poor, innocent children, and FOR GOD’S SAKE DID I NOT TELL BLAINE WE SHOULD NEVER FLY ON THE SAME PLANE?????? And well, at least the two hours you spend updating your will on a cocktail napkin and making funeral plans and crying over your precious babies who you will never see again …. at least for those two hours your legs will be stretched out in comfort because you’re in bulkhead, baby, BULKHEAD!!!

So, we made it home safe and sound. Too bad Blaine’s doctors only gave him pain meds and no Valium. Because I swear, if he had Valium, I totally would have stolen it for myself.

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