Thursday, November 06, 2008

Let the Hatred Begin

Well, perhaps "Hatred" is too strong a term. Maybe a better word would be "annoyance" or "frustration" or "crippling lack of creativity".

Remember how I complained last year about my kids' school's freakish obsession with costumes?

Yeah, well, it's already started this year.

We've had Spirit Week and Just Say No Week, which means we've done Crazy Hair Day, Mis-Match Clothes Day, Crazy Socks Day, Crazy Hat Day, Wear Your Clothes Backwards Day, Team Jersey Day, Slippers Day, and a host of other days, all of which were pretty manageable with things the kids already had here at the house .... with the exception of Hippie Day. For that, I agreed to go to the costume store and actually *buy* Brayden a 70's costume, if *she* would agree to wear the costume again for Halloween.

Kellen had to dress up like Patrick Henry for a book report, and will re-use that costume for the Colonial Fair in January. For the Live Museum in December, he has to dress up like Dwight D. Eisenhower (wtf???) and Kendrie has to dress as a professional baseball player, which means we will recycle the baseball uniform Kellen wore in LAST YEAR's Live Museum.

So far, so good.

Then, we received notice that this week is the 2nd Annual Vocabulary Parade. You might remember that last year the Parade took place -- literally -- our first week at the new school, so my poor kids didn't really get costumes. I hadn't even unpacked our household goods, let alone been able to manage costumes for the vocabulary words they were to "demonstrate" in the parade to their school mates.

No such luck this year --- we're here, and costumes are expected of us.

I didn't think Kendrie's word would be that difficult: arachnid.

I figured it would be pretty easy to get out my sewing machine and whip up a cute little spider costume without a whole lot of trouble.

Only two problems: 1) I don't actually own a sewing machine. and 2) I don't know how to sew.



The idea for the costume was easily found on the Internet, and didn't *sound* too difficult.




It didn't take long to remember, however, that I have the patience span of a gnat .... so thank goodness I have a husband who is handier with a needle and thread than I am, is all I can say about that.

Once we determined that she would also recycle the costume for Halloween, things actually started to look up:




Then I found out what Kellen's word is: strew.

How on God's green earth am I supposed to come up with a costume representing the word "strew" ??? Seriously ---- STREW?????

And about the time I really started getting anxious, about what the HELL are we going to do for "strew", I talked to sister, and found out my nephew's word:

Malapropism.

Um, yeah. Strew's not looking so bad after all.

29 comments:

Natalie said...

I am SNORTING with hysteria!

Stefunkc said...

How about 'Seasons' and 'Nosegay'. You don't want to know what went through my mind with the nosegay one!

Kim said...

So with you on the hatred of costumes thing! I was celebrating this year because for the first time in 25 years I had no one needing a costume!! Yipppee!! We wisely, many years ago with child #1 (who is now 25) that there is no trick or treating after 6th grade. And luckily we don't go to anything else that requires a Halloween costume.
I am sooo sorry for you. Really.
*smiles*
Kim in seattle

Christina said...

And asumed you would just staple the arms to the spider on. Thats just me lazy self.

Amy said...

I swear the teachers who assign this craziness either a) don't have children of their own or b) have children of their own and are using their positions in the educational system as a means to revenge on all those teachers who gave THEIR children ridiculous assignments.

M, Ms. R, Mom, Auntie M, Marey said...

Just drop the "R" and have him go as a can of Dinty Moore.

Melissa said...

Wow! My teacher self is in AWE of all the costume projects...

I'm a little shocked too because when I taught I was always very careful about any assignment that absolutely required parent involvement because I didn't really want to see what the parents could produce, but what the kids could produce. AND what about kids that don't have an ideal family life or can't AFFORD to purchase tons of stuff for projects?

If the school is going to require costumes perhaps the school should provide them. It's unfortunate b/c a lot of the events you mentioned sound cute, but they probably don't all require a costume to be a good learning experience...

cakeburnette said...

strew - v. to scatter or spread things untidily over a surface or area

Have him dump junk out of a basket or backpack or something while walking in the parade with his word. The teacher who thought that was a good word for the parade should have to pick up everything that was "strewn".

Cindy in Yukon said...

Attach small items of clothing like socks, boxers, etc. all over a sweatshirt... similar to how kids "strew" clothes all over their bedroom. Just a thought!

Anonymous said...

Why sew when you can hot glue?

Have any of the parents at your school thought about a costume co-op? There's got to be a way to recycle/ share old costumes to be used for these things and Halloween.

All it would take is some crazy parent with large closets to accept the challange to organize it.

Do you know anyone like that?

Deb
Largo, FL

Pam D said...

Good gosh... I'm honestly glad my son's school doesn't do all that stuff. In 4th grade, they have a Renaissance banquet, and in 5th grade they participate in a wax museum that the 1st-4th graders get to come see. I think that's about it, and since I don't own a sewing machine and my son's taste in costumes leans towards the macabre, I'm good. I'm cracking up at some of the ideas... I love the backpack one! "Strew" this....

Anonymous said...

Was gonna say what Cindy said. Just use safety pins and attach a bunch of mismatched socks and maybe things like small toys.

Cool spider costume! It was nice to see a picture of Blaine and our family prays he will do well, be well & get well.

How's the puppy been doing?

Tomika in AL

The Running Girl said...

You did good with Kendrie's costume! But strew? Yeah, have fun with that one. I'm SO glad my kids don't have to have costumes for every little thing. We have a hard enough time getting them for Halloween.

Ryley said...

strew as in scattered?????
(I had to google it since apparently I was sick that day at school that we learned about strew)

I think if it is scattered.. you can do just as the other commenter suggested. A pair of sweats with little things all over it! That would be cool!

p.s. Hubby looks great!!! He probably doesn't feel great but he hides it well!!

Lisa said...

Oh Wow, laughing out loud here. Lots of small vegetables on a plain brown background...heck you could even use REAL vegetables and superglue...cannot wait to see what you do!!! Prayers for Blaine

lizinsumner said...

Oh, I love it!! (and, before I forget, great job on the arachnid costume, guys!!)! Okay, for Dwight D.?? Easy! Dwight was (okay, an army, not air force) general before he was prez; and you should have PLENTY of fatigues and combat boots in Blaine's closet, right?? So, that takes care of Dwight. Strewn?? Here's my thought - I'll pack up and send you all of the crap - er, garbage - er, STUFF - that's STREWN ALL OVER my almost 15 year old son's room, and you can put Kellen in a pair of black sweats and just pin all of this stuff on to him....works for me! Give me an address, PO Box, whatever - and, it's all yours, with my blessing!!

Dianna in Louisiana said...

Call me a freak Kristie--- But I'd be THRILLED for my daughter's school to encourage learning through costumes and reinactment. Really, it sounds like TONS of fun!!!!

I'm not sure of the actual definition, but I've always thought "strew" meant to throw things together quickly in a messy sort of way. So, maybe you can allow Kellen to "strew" together any type of ridiculous clothes he wants to wear. Admittedly though, I have absolutely no real idea of what "strew" means, and there's an excellent chance the kids at Kendrie and Kellen's school know the meaning of and use a whole ton of "big" words I've never heard !!!

Jeanette in GA said...

Any man who can fix a Whoopie cushion with duct tape and whip up a spider costume is definately a keeper. :)

jadine said...

(your arachnid needs two more legs)

((((cringe))))


(sorry)

in a world surrounded by men said...

You know, some days I wonder why I am homeschooling... it's hard, I have to be the teacher and parent and don't get much free time.

But teacher can say NO to stupid crap like dressing up as "strew"!!!!

Come on!

Anonymous said...

I am just curious as to which child inherited the shutterbug gene ? Seeing as how both you and Blaine are in the picture one of the kids must have been playing photographer.Whoever it was they did a good job !

Bridget from Canada

Micky said...

Blaine = amazing! Way to go! I love Kendrie's costume.
And as far as Kellen's goes, the other commenters' idea is great, with the added benefit that if he doesn't explain it, his teacher will go "wtf" and perhaps rethink the whole idea of costume-words that make no sense. Come on. A verb?

@Jadine: No, it doesn't. 2 Kendrie-arms + 2 Kendrie-legs + 4 costume-limbs = 8 total!

Anonymous said...

what the hell do those words mean anyway!!!!!

Jane Snell Copes said...

I'm afraid it's a flower girl. Or a farmer.

jadine said...

Micky ~ Whew! You're right. I think her legs together threw me. See why I'm not a math major? :)

Anonymous said...

I think for "strew" you should do what others have suggested, but you should have the stuff trailing behind him to get the exact meaning of the word. It's scattering things over a distance.

URBAN BLONDE said...

Blaine is a prince.

As to the teachers/admin. of the school I think they should be rounded up and "strewn" along the side of a road dressed as clowns.

Blondie
(forever thankful that the schools I taught at never had a costume fetish)

Cheryl and Angel Haley said...

Hey Kristie!

I visit here often, but hardly ever post.

I am so glad you still blog, what a great "slice of life" you dish up!

You have a beautiful family, and please tell Blaine we pray for him constantly.

Many hugs!!!

PS If you want to have that one more baby, email me...we are still looking for the perfect mom :)

Renee' said...

I didn't even know what in the hell strew meant until reading your comments. WTF????