Wednesday, September 26, 2007


Updated: Rita B, wow, that's one good memory you've got there! Yep, someone bought a bunch of Star Wars figurines (for goodness sake, not even anything remotely cool) online once, apparently managing to hack into my PayPal account and try and pay for them that way. Because "I" spent over $1000.00 within a 24-hr period, and "I" was a new customer, the collectible company itself suspected fraud and canceled the order. But that was almost four years ago --- I'm impressed you remembered that. I had almost forgotten it myself. You make a good point about only using cash from here on out. Better yet, I'll be the sole US citizen trying to barter goods and services with chickens from my farm or bushels of vegetables from my garden. Except I don't have a garden. Or chickens. Man, I'm screwed.


I stole something once. Does that make me a bad person? A thief forever? Once a crook, always a crook? I still feel ashamed about it. I was working one of my high school jobs, at a store that was just like Super Wal Mart before there was such a thing as Super Wal-Marts. That’s how I used to describe the store to people who had never heard of it: “It’s just like Wal-Mart, but with groceries, too.” Funny how at the time, some people considered that an odd concept, and were bothered by the thought of being able to buy underwear and motor oil and potting soil at the same place they bought their groceries, and yet now, it’s commonplace.

Anyway, I was a checker, back in the olden days before scanners, when we had to actually punch the prices in on cash registers, and people paid for things by writing checks, and I would copy their employment information on the back of the check, and then dinosaurs carried the sacks of groceries to people’s wagons and buggies so they could go home with the ingredients necessary to churn their own butter and make their own clothes from gunny sacks. Sometimes when it was cold in the store, we’d grab sweaters or jackets from Ladies Wear and put them on while we were working, tucking the tags up in our sleeves. One Sunday, my co-workers (equally as grown up and mature as me, for sure) dared me to see if I could walk out of the store with the jacket still on, without anyone noticing. I didn’t need a new jacket --- I didn’t even particularly like the jacket I had on, sort of a gray-ish New-Member-ish thing with a stand up collar and a really unflattering fit. But I did it on a dare, then just got lazy and didn’t take it back, and then before I realized it, enough time had elapsed that by default, I had to admit that I had stolen it. As in, taken something without paying for it.** Technically, I’m pretty sure that’s the definition of “stealing”, to take something that belongs to someone else, or to help yourself to something you didn’t earn or weren’t invited to take.

So, to the cockroach who STOLE $4028.10 from me last month, you suck. Maybe you didn’t come in my house, literally, and take items that belong to me. Maybe you didn’t pawn my radio and cd player out of my car. Maybe you didn’t pilfer my savings account with forged checks, or steal my ATM card out of my purse and help yourself to the money in my checking account. But by getting ahold of my credit card, and going on a three-day shopping spree, to purchase things you didn’t earn, you were stealing. It's the same as the girl I used to work with in my 20's, who knew she was about to file bankruptcy, so she went out and charged up all her credit cards. How can you people DO this, and sleep with a clear conscience at night?

I’m still not quite sure how you did it, since the card never left my possession, and all your charges were clear across the country, during a three-day period. I have to assume it had something to do with the new credit cards that didn’t arrive when my credit card company said they would. So they canceled the account and sent new cards to my home. Somehow in the midst of all that, someone did quite a bit of retail therapy at my expense. Was it an inside job at Visa? A mailbox thief? A waiter who “lifted” my numbers from a lunch or dinner here and sold them? Who knows how? More importantly, who knows WHY?

I’m wondering if you justify it by telling yourself that credit card theft doesn’t hurt anyone. I mean, the items didn’t actually belong to anyone but a bunch of fat-cat retail store owners, so it’s not like you took things I actually owned --- for real --- in my own possession. You didn't have to look me in the eye and push me down on the street and take my purse, so to you, this might be a facless crime. But it IS a crime, and you *did* hurt me. You hurt all of us. Who do you think has to raise retail prices to cover the expense of theft? Don’t you imagine credit card companies have to raise interest rates, or lower cash back offers, to make up the difference? To pay the people they have working for them in their Fraud Investigation Departments? Ultimately, we all pay. The retailers, the wholesalers, the companies, and the consumers. And why? Because you’re so fucking arrogant you think you can just take whatever you want without earning it. Because I guess the bourgeois concept of working for what you want is beneath you. Saving your money, until you’ve got enough for the big purchases, I suppose that doesn’t apply to you. Only us "little people", those of us with ethics and morals who were taught to pay our own way and earn the things we want. You? Not so much. So you steal people’s credit cards, buy yourself what you want, and think you’re getting away with it. Who knows? Probably you will. And in the meantime, I’ve got to jump through the hoops of getting this cleared up with my credit card company. I’ve got to go a week with no convenient way of buying things for myself, while our current cards are destroyed and we’re waiting for new ones. I’ve got to contact all my creditors that I auto-pay every month on that card and switch over to the new card, when it arrives. Because you are a cockroach. A lazy, greedy, covetous, assuming cockroach.

So here’s what I think about you, and hope for you, and wish for you:

I hope your baby is doing well and feeling better, because I’m just certain that the $654.35 you spent at various grocery stores those three days was for diapers and formula and prescriptions for the poor little thing and his/her ear infections or diaper rash or whatever else might have been wrong. I could *almost* understand that, if you didn’t have money to feed your starving baby, or buy medicine, I could *almost* feel sorry for you. But damn, that would have been a lot of diapers, too, and no baby can go through six hundred dollars worth of diapers in three days, so I have to assume you were buying other crap as well. Probably equally important things like meat and beer and cigarettes and wine.

I hope you enjoy whatever electronic device it is you bought at Radio Shack for $87.11 although secretly, I hope it’s defective and the tiny electrical impulses leaking out of it give you a migraine.

I’m a little disappointed that you went out to eat three times and the most you spent at any restaurant was $50.82. You’d think if someone was treating themselves on someone else’s credit card, the least they could do would be to invite some friends along, maybe a dozen or so, and offer to treat for them, as well. So not only are you a thieving bastard, you’re a cheap thieving bastard.

I hope the $1,146.72 worth of clothing you bought at J. Crew and Banana Republic are bright orange, so you can continue to wear them after you go to prison for credit card theft, which is where you belong as far as I’m concerned.

I hope the $470.45 purse you bought from Coach comes in black and white stripes so it will possibly match your jail uniform.

I hope the $70 haircut you got from Hair Masters makes you look pretty for your prison photo. Or yikes, makes you look pretty for your “friendlier, bigger” inmates, if you know what I’m saying, and I think you do.

Most of all, even if the Fraud Investigation Department of my credit card company doesn’t ever find you, I hope you enjoy that $1500.00 big screen Sony TV you bought. I’m a little worried, though, that when you take it with you, when you ROT IN HELL, that the plastic encasement will bubble up and melt all over when you get there. Because did you know it’s really warm there? Too warm for TV, that’s for sure. But *just* the right temperature for immoral thieves.

{{No, I’m not annoyed, resentful, or vindictive, why do you ask?}}

And while I'd like to think I'm raising my own children to be better than this, something tells me I might be failing.

**For the record, I have no recollection of what ever happened to the jacket I stole as a teenager. But I have a very clear memory of going in to work for several weeks, showing up early and working without clocking in, and clocking out at my normal time but sticking around and working late, in an attempt to appease my conscience and “pay back” for the ugly jacket that I’m pretty sure I never wore again. It was wrong to take the jacket in the first place, especially on a stupid dare, but I know if I was to bump into my old boss, or the store owner, on the street today, I could hold my head up and look them in the eye, knowing I at least *tried* to make retribution.

Something tells me I won’t get the same from this cockroach thief.


Pamela D. Earley said...

I'm first!! I'm first!! That makes me the favorite, right!

Seriously though, Kristie, that is absolutely unbelievable. I hope that they do catch that person. If so, I think you should be allowed to have all of the 'goodies' to compensate for all of the stress and hassle that was caused.

Meg from Americus said...

OMG!! That's horrible! It is true that a few "cockroaches" ruin everything for the good people. Don't you wish you could reach through the credit card bill and strangle them?
Do you watch The View? I'm with Whoopie, that when she wishes bad things for people, she wishes them acne on the butt!!! Sounds like a good wish to put on this loser!

The Running Girl said...

That sucks. That happened to us one time, but luckily the credit card company noticed the "odd" charges that weren't characteristic of us and called us right away. They asked if we had been in California and when we said no, they cancelled the card immediately. So some cockroach theif had a really nice super bowl party for free that year. I hope it all gets worked out soon.

Anonymous said...

aww man! can't you catch a break girl? this sucks big time! what a hassle for you to deal with! I hope they catch the scum who did this!


leeanne said...

You go,Kristie!!! He/she is a cockroach for SURE!!! This happened to me once too, only the thieves treated themselves to hundreds of dollars of fresh flowers and an ungodly, huge purchase at Victoria's Secret. (Hmmmmmmm) Go figure......not surprising though. Thieves are just plain wierd anyway, so why be surprised at anything they may do? Clearing it all up is truly a pain in the a**. I feel sorry for you. And GOOD LUCK!!

Patty House, Jasonville IN said...

That is horrible! I hope that they can catch them or at least that it all gets lined out and you don't have to pay for any of it.

Anonymous said...

I tried to order something with my credit card one time and have it sent to my house, but they wouldn't do it as the address on my credit card was my PO Box. However, someone stole my dad's credit card number nad purchased thousands of dollars worth of electronics and had it delivered to their house in California with no problems. My dad lives in Iowa and has an Iowa address on his credit card. When he discovered this, he called the credit card company and wanted them to dispatch the police to that address and arrest them. He was told it had to go through the fraud department and that would take approximately 30 days. Like the people would still be there in 30 days. Boy was my dad irrate as it would have been very easy/simple to catch them, but they choose not too.

They apparently have no conscience.

Shannon in Iowa

Anonymous said...

Same thing happened with me in April someone stole my card and then charged $100 dollars no big deal my credit card company paid me back and they went and investigated it. I wasn't really offended they didn't know me, didn't realize I was a college student who was already seriously broke after helping to support her mother who had been dying over the last year and had only passed away a few months before, I couldn't hate someone who didn't know and who knows maybe they were going through the same thing. What did piss me off was about a month later at my sisters wedding, an already hard day without our mom, one her guests went into my purse and stole my visa and creditcard and charged around $2000 on it. Someone who knew my sister, knew my family, someone who knew what we had been going through, but basically just did not care. $100 at several gas stations (4 gas stations in one day.. i'm guessing he/she did a cash back move), and the real kicked a massive amount of money spent at two seperate Home Depot. Sorry that happened to you.. some people just suck

Andrea said...

Dude that sucks. Though I'm sure, wise woman that you are, you've already used this theft of your credit card as an opportunity to tell your kids about stealing from the victim's perspective, that it's not just "finders keepers".

I learned that lesson when I was 5 years old. We were the victims of a home invasion. Yes, we were home and sleeping while someone broke into our house and stole from us. They didn't take anything huge, only what they could quickly and quietly carry, like my 3 ft tall Mickey Mouse piggy bank. Who steals a child's piggy bank? Rat bastards. They also took a camera, my mom's purse and my dad's wallet, a tool box, and for some strange reason, a nearly empty bottle of bleach. I didn't know it at the time, but I'd imagine now that it was for some sort of drug cooking thing, maybe meth. Though mostly empty? That one stumped us.

Being 5, I didn't fully understand the implications of what COULD have happened until a few years later when I was watching some police drama or another with my dad and the victims of a home invasion robbery were killed when they woke up to find the intruders still in their house. I slept poorly for months after watching that, just thinking every creak was someone breaking in again.

And my house was also only 10 minutes from the Clutter house in that true-crime story In Cold Blood by Truman Capote. Yeah. Who says sleepy little Kansas is so sleepy?

Hope you get it figured out soon, but I have to say, gutless as this thief was, I'm GLAD (s)he are faceless to you. I'm glad you were never physically in danger in order for this person to steal from you. And I hope your credit doesn't take a hit from this.

Andrea said...

Sorry for the novel above. Yikes.

Marisa said...

Same thing happened to us. We had been in California on a business trip. The CC statement comes 30 days later with 25,000.00 new purchaes. All over the country. Louis V luggae, airplane tickets, gas, grocerys, computers etc. This was a business cc. The Fraud people say it is called scimming. They make a copy of your cc and in minutes can make multiple cc. We had charges in New York and California on the same day. Never heard the turn out from the fraud people and did not have to pay the charges but I am right there with you. The fucking bastards need to rot in hell!!! Sorry, but my feelings.

lizinsumner said...

Gosh, and I thought that I have had such a rough three days (2 flat tires - on the SAME TIRE, no less!! -).....well, you've given me a little perspective, if nothing else. And the "stolen" jacket story??!! I can totally time at lunch time I went to a nearby mall and I was trying on some clothes in the dressing room of a department store....I had a pair of short shorts (this was a loooong time ago), and I tried them on under my skirt (being the lazy twit that I am); then I went on to try on some tops and because I had pantyhose on, I forgot about the shorts and didn't remember to take them off and walked out of the store and went back to work and 2 hours later, in the ladies room....oooops!!! I was too embarrassed to go back to the store and return them and positively convinced that they wouldn't believe me (just how stupid can one twenty-something girl be??!!) and well, I didn't work there so I couldn't make any restitution that way, but I did my best to buy lots and lots of stuff from them over the years - perhaps that's provided some recompense, do you think??!! At any rate, I sure hope that they catch the scum-bag woman (HAD to be a woman, most men don't even know that COACH exists) but I must say that I'm totally jealous of the Coach purse and well, you'd think that somebody, somewhere had a camera at one of those the meantime, try to have a good week!

Jeanette said...

Remember-every cockroach has their day....

Lori said...

It has happened to me too! $684 at a grocery store. But my thief was very generous, $1500.00 dinner tab. Hope they tipped well, I have to maintain my reputation ya know. It is so maddening and it does indeed require much to clear it up.

Cate said...


loriedunn said...

Same thing just happened to me! A rep from visa fraud dept. called and asked if I knew anything about a $10,000 jewelry purchase made in London on my husband’s card. I told her it had better of been stolen or he had a bigger problem than identity theft because he hadn’t given ME any jewelry!

Anonymous said...

When I was 6 or 7 I stole a bag of those crappy marshmellow circus peanuts. The store clerk chased me home and I got by butt burned! At the time I didn't know it was exactly wrong - because I didn't understand one was supposed to pay money for stuff that you wanted. I just knew that you went into a store and came out with stuff... I learned a lot that day.... I'm sorry that you and your family have been victimized....and I thank God I learned early!

Clara Zimmerman said...

When I went to Best Buy to get my husband's birthday gift last year, they said they couldn't accept my check. I told them the account could cover the gift. They ran it through again, and said they couldn't accept the check. I dashed to the bank, where I found out that $2,700 had been taken out of our checking account the night before, and we were overdrawn! I hadn't bounced a check since an expensive pizza in college...Anyway, someone had taken our checking account number and our routing number and made their own checks with the name of some fake law firm. They bought things from places like Auto Zone, Charms, Etc (what is that about?) and Verizon Wireless. It took us about 10 days to get our money back from the bank, and we had creditors calling us for months because of the continuously bouncing checks. Scum!

jodi said...

You can probably call the hair place (hair masters??), and see who had an appointment during that time/date, and for the same amount they spent........and catch the theif! Good Luck!

Dianna in Louisiana said...

Thanks so much for this post Kristie--- I sometimes never check my credit card statement. You better believe that after reading this post I'm going to start faithfully checking it now.

Pam Doughty said...

Ooooh, ooooh.. my turn! MY cockroach was in SINGAPORE... I got a call from my CC company saying "this doesn't seem like you..." (as in, your plump stay-at-home mom self would NEVER go out to eat at posh restaurants in Singapore, so this MUST be theft). And, of course, they were right. Thank goodness they caught it when they did, before it topped $1000.
I do believe there will be a time and a place for retribution, and I don't wanna be there to see it, cause I wanna be in the OTHER place! :<) I'm really sorry for the hassle; I know how it makes the blood pressure rise.

Rita B said...

Didn't someone steal your credit card before and buy a bunch of Star Wars shit? WTF?

Me thinks you need to switch to cash only! Geez. I live in dread tha would happen to me. I have 4 kids and feel like we live paycheck to paycheck. A $4,000.00 shopping spree would rock my world. :(

Aren't there cameras at most stores now? I hope they catch the thief and lock 'em away.

Anonymous said...

When I was 13 years old, our school bus let us off at a small country store. Every afternoon, my friends had money to get a snack after school. my parents didn't have money for the five of us so we had to settle for stupid "homemade cookies" and milk or some "crap" like that when we got home!!! One day I stole a pack of cheese curls and a Dr. Pepper, hid them under my jacket and walked right out. I thought I was soooo cool. My two younger brothers saw me eating & drinking on the way home and had the NERVE to ask me to share!! Well of course I wasn't sharing my stolen goods with them, so they ran ahead of me & told my mom. When I got home she confronted me, made me take ALL of my money out of my piggy bank ($3.46) and walked me back to the store whipping my ass every step I took! I was totally humiliated because all of my friends were still out, and I had to go into the store and give Mr. Fulmer my whole life savings. All the way home I got my ass whipped again (not with her hand, but with a wide leather strap no less!) When Daddy got home from work I got the strap again!! My butt still burns just remembering that day, and it has been 38 years!! Needless to say, I have never stolen ANYTHING since (much less eat cheese curls, and I'm quite sure that's why I despise Dr. Pepper to this day!!!) I hope the person that did this to you has a Mom like mine and she TEARS HIS ASS UP!!!

Anonymous said...

oooohhhhhh.... that is a total bummer. My (moronic) husband left our visa at home depot once (first clue - he should NOT have been there to begin with - mr non-handy guy) and within hours it was "cancelled"... JUST having to deal with the auto pay stuff almost sent me over the edge. sorry. bad, bad day for you. don't even get me started on the complete LACK of customer service in america today.....
Have a nice week. enjoy the fall.
m schulman
san diego/crosslake

Rita B said...

Haha, I am honored once again to get a shout out on the Kristie blog. :)

OK, I remembered for 4 reasons.

1. I remember *everything*. Drives my poor DH batshit, lol. I swear my head just swims with useless bits of trivia and unimportant info.

2. If I remember correctly, it was soon after dear Kendrie was diagnosed.I remember thinking what an absolutely shitty thing to happen at such a horrible time. >:(

3. I was in a terrible mood that day and your discription of the incident was hilarious and made me laugh for the first time that day.

4. My best friend's DH is the type of person who, if we were the type of person to hack an account (and he's not) would use it to buy Star Wars shit. I almost suspected him, LMAO. He would love to have best friend running around in Leah buns, but that ain't never gonna happen!

Stephanie said...

I've had the same thing happen to me 3 times! I've always still had the card in my possession, too. They've had the card # but not the expiration date. In all 3 cases they were trying to purchase things online or do money transfers, and all 3 times VISA has put a hold on my card within a minute or two. The multiple failed transactions as they tried to guess the expiration date triggered VISA's computer system to suspect fraud in progress. I was called within 5 mins., all bogus charges were removed from my account, a new account was set up and the card was sent to me. I agree that the auto bill pay changes are a big PITA, along with not having the convenience of a credit card. Naturally it has ALWAYS happened when I've had some online purchase in progress and the payment doesn't clear before the payment is made, so then I'm contacted and have to arrange for some other form of payment.

Haley said...

Sorry I haven't signed in a while; I am readjusting to 8 hour workdays. Blah. I had to sign and say that I feel your pain. Unfortunately, the person who invaded my space actually walked through the front door (so we think) ate some of our food, stole my computer, and rode my bike down the street with my roommates spare change in his pocket. Regardless of how it happens, it sucks. May whomever stole from you have their nice things taken from my thief.

Anonymous said...

Someone stole my card number off the internet when I had used it to shop and tried to buy a bar and grill in Florida, somewhere I've never been. My cc compoany called and asked if I'd just tried to make a big purchase. ummmmm, $100 is a big purchase for me. They were going for about $3K.

BTW, there is some Ebay theft right now where people's accounts have been hacked into and their cc numbers stolen.

On that happy note,
Dixie in CA

Kris said...

Im sorry that happened to you. I hope they can catch up to who ever did it. On that note.. my ex husband.. and he is an ex for a reason is in jail for 5 years right now on credit card theft.. guess what ? he stole his dads identity and in return his dad goes and visits him at the pen and wants to take my three kids there too. Dis .. functional...

Sherri in NC said...


Wow. It seems like this has happened to so many people.... I'm feeling a little left out here because I don't have my own story to add. Wait, that's a GOOD thing, right? But I don't think for one second it can't happen to me, or to anybody else for that matter. I only have one credit card, and I rarely use it, only for big purchases, and I've been really lucky that it hasn't happened to me. There will always be some in this world that take advantage of others without a second thought.

Abbie said...

All I can say is..."Amen Sister!"

I, too, became a victim of identity theft just about 5 weeks ago. It was kind of my fault, and I know that, but I'm so not taking full responsibility for all of the assholes living on this planet.

The (hopefully) short version of my story: I got an e-mail from my bank about a fraud alert on my account telling me to log on an verify myself. follow a LINK to verify myself. So what did I, Miss I'll Never Be A Victim of Identity Theft Because I'm Smarter Than That, do? I followed the link. I actually looked quite closely at it, because it is my nature to be suspicious, decided it was legit and continued to "verify" myself. I mean it had "" in the address, and the page looked exactly like "", so I thought it was ok. wasn't. I wasn't logging into at all...rather,

So I had to close my checking, savings, and both credit cards. I had to be issued a new debit card, with a new pin number, blah blah blah. For about 2 weeks I had no access to money, except for walking into the bank and getting it from the teller. REALLY not so much fun. Thank goodness I didn't have to pay for any of the purchases they made, as they called me the same day the purchases were made. "Did you use your Visa at XYZ in the United Kingdom today?" Uhh...yeah...I'm sitting at my Des Moines, IA...just returning from my overnight romp through the UK.

ANYWAY, be as pissed as you want. I still am. You don't actually have to pay that $4000, do you?! That is ridiculous. If that was the case...I think I would go track those donkies down myself!

Your Identity Theft Friend,

Lastly, to ALL the readers of Kristie's blog and comment page: DO NOT EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE FOLLOW A LINK TO YOUR FINANCIAL INSTITUTION! Always type in the address and log in that way. Boy have I learned my lesson.

abbie said...

I just thought of something else that I think is kind of funny...

One of the purchases made on my card was I believe for an on-line dating service of some sort. So I'm I have a dating profile somewhere out there now too?! And when I logged on to "verify myself" on, did they have a little camera in there that took my picture so they could have a photo to go with my dating profile?!

Hmmm...I wonder what will ever come of that?!



Anonymous said...

Theft and fraud are invasive and horrible. A big part of you is stolen too. Be thankful that it wasn't stolen from your personal property. That is a horrible feeling to live with. Be thankful that the only thing that was stolen (your credit) is being returned. You can never get back the special note from your dad that tells you he loves you and misses you, or the $100 bill that you just earned for the first time and were saving for something special, or the massage gift certificate from a friend who wanted you to know how much she appreciates you, or the key chain from your first car that was your late uncle's, or the gift cards that your mom gave you, that you were holding on to for something special because you know she couldn't really afford to buy them for you, but wanted to anyway. The part that affected me the least were the charges on my credit card. All theft and fraud sucks. While it is a hassle, most of the "things" can be replaced.

Grandma J said...

Oh wow, that is nasty. I hope your cc company takes care of it.

I guess I should tell my little theft story.....When I was about seven my girlfriend and I would walk to confession every Saturday. I really think it was because we felt important and "older" than some of the younger kids in the neighborhood. Anyway, we always stopped at the corner drugstore to steal a piece of candy ON THE WAY. This way we could confess it, be forgiven, and go to communion on Sunday. Good God it was great being Catholic that way....steal, confess, take communion and go straight to heaven if you die!

We did this every week. I always stole a rootbeer barrel because they lasted so long. I always wondered what the priest thought when he slid the wooden door open and smelled that rootbeer barrel breath. I'm sure he knew some little voice would say "Bless me Father for I have sinned, these are my sins." Then sheepishly I would say "I stole a rootbeer barrel".

The real kicker is about 25 years later I was on a trip to Rhode Island and I went into that little corner drug store and told the manager I used to steal rootbeer barrels. I handed him $10...he stared at me, never saying a word....I walked out. Weird, it was very weird. I felt better and maybe I will go to heaven.

Tammy said...

This happened to me last year about this time....we were about to go on a weekend trip and our bank cards stopped working..not great timing.
The best that we can figure (since we also had our cards on us at all time) is that when we got gas, swiped the card and put the pin # in, it had a fake front on the machine and the bad guys now have your number and pin.
From then on we only use our card as credit so i have to sign for it. and I make sure i shred EVERYTHING!
UGH, so sorry this happened to you. I KNOW how you feel! I hope it gets sorted out fast for you!