Vacation In Pictures -- Day Skagway -- Part Two

After the parade was over, Blaine, Renee and I found a local bakery and had coffee, hot chocolate and croissants while waiting for time for our excursion. (Oh, who am I kidding? Blaine had coffee … black … and *I* had hot chocolate and croissants, wondering all the while why I have a weight problem and he doesn’t.)

The day had started out overcast and cool -- I’ll admit, I had gotten a bit spoiled with all the warm, sunny weather we had encountered, and was hoping the sun would break through in Skagway, as well. Instead, as we made our way to the Temsco offices for our dogsledding excursion, it started misting, then drizzling, then downright raining on us. The walk was only ten minutes or so, but it was miserable and cold and I worried the entire afternoon would be like this. Nothing smells worse than wet dog, and I sure didn’t want this trip to take place in the rain.

We arrived at their offices, were greeted by name, watched a safety video, were WEIGHED (does the humiliation get any worse?) and then were given glacier boots and a safety vest. If excitement were electricity, you could have hooked me up and powered Manhattan right about then.




Our ride:




We got all settled in and buckled up, and took off from the landing pad. What I found funny was that Blaine, whose undergraduate degree is in aerospace engineering, has always stood firm by his belief that helicopters are aerodynamically unsound and honestly, defy the laws of physics and have no business staying in the air. He used to be required to take helicopters to the missile sites in North Dakota when the roads were too bad for driving, and he would grumble and bitch about it the entire time, and swore that he would never fly in a helicopter again once he was released from missile duty. And all those years, at all those state fairs, when I wanted to take the kids up in helicopter rides … he refused to allow it, stating bluntly it was unsafe. But there we went, up in a helicopter, over frozen tundra no less, without a backwards glance or complaint from him. I guess sometimes the excitement of a vacation can make a person, even an aerospace engineer, forget about gravity and those pesky laws of physics.

The views from the helicopter were amazing. I felt very “Into Thin Air”-ish, and can only assume Mt. Everest must look similar. Except those people climbing Mt. Everest are actually hiking and trekking and using ice axe-picks and crampons on their shoes and freezing to death, and not riding in a heated helicopter, protected from the elements and listening in on two-way radios. But still? Awesome views. The pilot provided us with a running commentary on the sights -- mountains, waterfalls, glaciers, trees, oceans, etc., below.










The flight lasted about fifteen minutes, and then we arrived at the dog camp, which was at an altitude of approx 7000 feet. There were five teams of thirty dogs apiece, for a total of 150 animals. Each team had a handler and a helper, although our handler was quick to tell us that the helper is the one doing all the dirty work. How dirty? Well, let’s just say that 150 dogs leave a lot of “presents” in the area. This dog sled camp is located in a national park, so they are not allowed to leave anything -- ANYTHING -- in the area. It’s a working camp, so the dogs each have their own doghouse and are kept chained unless they are pulling a sled. Of course they rotate the dogs for work, and they are continuously moving the chains so the area doesn’t get too icky each day.

I was a little dumbfounded to think about how much work is involved to keep the place tidy. Every piece of poop gets picked up and flown back down the mountain. It was actually quite fascinating. (The maintenance of the camp; not the poop.) They fly all supplies (including the dogs, of course) in, and ship all trash, back out. They don’t have running water, so even the dirty water that is used to wash dishes is shipped back down in the helicopters. At the end of our tour we got to tour the kitchen tent and meet the woman who cooks, three squares a day, for twenty five grown men, without running water or electricity. Everything is run on a generator, including her teeny tiny stove, and the refrigerator is a hole cut in the floor where they set items directly on the snow.

I mean, think about it. Here at my house, I have a sink, fridge, oven, stove, microwave, crock pot, blender, food processor, electricity and running water, and some days am too challenged to get a hot meal on the table for my family of five. This woman cooks three meals a day, for near thirty adults, in a tent the size of my master bathroom, AND keeps a clean kitchen at that, with pretty much a Bunsen burner and washes dishes in a bucket. And she is really, really good at her job … I know this because she gave us warm, freshly-baked cookies when we were through. And they WEREN’T break-apart fridge cookies! Honestly, I was fascinated and could talk even more about it, but want to show you the pictures of the highlight of the trip.

We met our handler, who talked to us briefly about the running of the camp and his own team of dogs. We chatted about what motivates someone to do this sort of thing for a living, what goes into an Iditarod champion, and what these handlers do with their dogs in the off-season. He must get asked the same questions over and over, but he was a good sport and was polite about everything. It was all really, truly interesting. Then, the moment we had been waiting for. He had ten fresh dogs attached to a four-person sled; two people riding and two people “mushing”. I’m not going to pretend that he wasn’t doing 99% of the actual mushing, but it was still exhilarating to be along for the ride.

We went about half a mile (maybe more? It’s hard to tell how fast you’re going, and of course, it’s hard to judge distance when you are on top of a glacier and everything is white and frozen and looks exactly the same!) Then we stopped and got to meet his dogs, more up-close and personal.



{You wouldn’t believe the amount of dog hair these bad boys were shedding. And I thought Lager shed a lot, it was nothing compared to these winter working dogs!}

This was the one excursion that Keith absolutely, positively, no-way-he-is-changing-his-mind, refused to join us on. He was deathly certain that we were all going to be gobbled up by a polar bear on the glacier and nothing we could say, and nothing the dog handlers could say, about no bear in his right mind going anywhere near a camp with 150 barking dogs in it, could change his mind. While I never want to deny a person their opinions, I have to say, he missed one hell of a time.





And he couldn’t have been more wrong. I mean, do you *SEE* any danger here? What on *EARTH* was he afraid of?????






The animals were beautiful, friendly, obviously love their "job", and surprisingly calm:





A few figured if *WE* were resting, then they were going to rest, too:




Then we loaded up again and headed back to the camp. The actual dog-sledding part of the trip probably only lasted half an hour, but it was so enjoyable. We stopped again and switched places so we all three had an opportunity to be the back “musher” and although I wondered if it might be lame, I have to tell you, it was really, really fun. Probably the funnest thing we did the entire week. I mean, think about it. How many people get the chance to say they’ve driven a dog sled, across a glacier, in Alaska????



{We do, that's who!}



Then, when we got back to the camp, and before touring the kitchen and eating all her cookies, we spend a few minutes getting to visit the puppies they had at camp that were not yet old enough to be trained.


{I got about twenty pictures of Renee with this dog, but in pretty much every single one, the dog is licking her on the face, or in the ear, or even once up her nose. It was a damn friendly dog, let me tell you.}


{Cute, too.}



{And thus ends pretty much the coolest, most awesome Alaska excursion ever!}

Vacation in Pictures -- Day Skagway

Next stop, Skagway. This was probably my favorite of our port stops as far as the town goes … really small, really quaint. If I remember correctly, they said the population of the town is 800 during the winter, but several thousand during the summer months due to tourist season. The entire main street is lined with picturesque shops, and the sidewalks are wooden planks, all contributing to a very Northern-Exposure-ish atmosphere. I confess, there is no big-city blood coursing through my veins, so this was a perfect stop for me.

Even better, we arrived in port on July 4th, so there was definitely a cheerful atmosphere when we got off the cruise ship and headed to town that morning. They had Broadway blocked off for the festivities, and we were able to enjoy the parade that morning before our excursion.

Shopkeepers and locals were dressed up for the celebration:




And of course they had people passing out flags, candy, flyers, etc:


{my gosh, we look positively washed-out, compared to that lady before us, don't we?}



It was most certainly a small-town parade, as the master of ceremonies greeted many of the participants by name as they walked or drove by. We watched kids on scooters and bikes, or being pulled in decorated wagons by their parents, and also floats of local businesses, fire and police cars, a bagpipe band, old-timer cars, etc. Honestly? You can keep your Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, thank you very much, with your thousands of people and grandstands and crowds, I much prefer this sort of cozy atmosphere.





And of couse, you can never go wrong with weenie dogs ... never:

Vacation in Pictures -- Day Juneau -- Part Two

Thanks to those of you who have commented favorably on the photos I’ve been sharing of Alaska, and thanks also to those of you who could care less but have kindly kept quiet until I’m done. I feel a little guilty and worried that I’m not accurately capturing and displaying the true beauty of the places we visited. First of all, no picture can compare with the image you actually see with your eyes, and that which stays in your mind. Especially not when the person is as amateur of a photographer as I am. Also, I’d argue that the photos are downgraded even more by viewing them via a computer screen instead of in person … but let’s be honest. All those excuses don’t hold water when you see the amazing photos that Pioneer Woman is able to get on *her* site. So, you’ll just have to believe me when I say no matter how good the pictures here might (or might NOT) be, it’s a hundred times prettier and more colorful in real life.

After finishing our whale-watching excursion, we caught a shuttle to Mendenhall Glacier, a glacier about 12 miles long located in Mendenhall Valley, about 12 miles from downtown Juneau. The United States Forest Service administers the Mendenhall Glacier Visitor Center as part of the Tongass National Forest (thank you, Wikepedia.)




The weather was holding for the day, warm and sunny, and we had some great views from the various visitor center platforms.







And of course what glacier view would be complete without the sight of two dorky tourists posing right in front?




I had read online about an off-the-beaten-path path, not actually sanctioned by the Forestry Department, or Game and Fish Guides, or Park Rangers, or whoever it is in charge up there, that would take us to the waterfall to the immediate right of the glacier. The waterfall looked cute and quaint, and we thought it would give us the best chance to see the glacier from a closer distance, as well. Although it wasn’t an approved trail, we could see plenty of people down by the waterfall (hmmm, they actually looked much smaller, and much farther away, than I thought they would) so I figured the trail couldn’t be *that* hard.

Keith wouldn’t join us for two reasons. One, well, bears. You should know that if you’ve been reading at all. Two, I’m pretty sure he was an Eagle Scout by the time he was five, so if the trail wasn’t approved, he wasn’t going. I was disappointed, partly because I knew he was most likely disapproving of *US* going, and partly because if I’d fallen and broken my ankle, he was the only one strong enough to carry me back from the damn waterfall. But Blaine and I set off anyway.

Although it was a pretty brisk ten or fifteen minute hike, it was all level ground and not difficult at all, until we got to The Place of the Rocks, which itself took me a good ten minutes to cross. The place where I thought I was proving my athletic prowess and showing Blaine what a kick-ass physical specimen I was, until the old guy with the cane passed me. In my defense, not only did I have my big, cumbersome camera bag slung over my shoulder …. but thanks to the beautiful weather, and the fact that even that minor exhertion had me sweating like crazy, I had my ginormous puffy winter coat wrapped around my waist. So I’m TOTALLY blaming that extra weight and bulk for slowing me down. (Old guy. Cane. PASSED ME.)




It was well worth the hike, though, as the waterfall was much bigger and louder and more powerful than I imagined. Not cute and quaint at all, but an amazing force. Just standing there next to it was exhilarating, although every time I tried to get a picture, the spray from the falls would blow on my camera lens (yet another excuse for these pictures not being as marvelous as I would like.)




Then, while Blaine and I stood there a moment, admiring the lake and the glacier, and breathing in the spray of the falls (and catching my breath, ahem) and commenting on the novelty of seeing tiny icebergs floating in the water below the glacier (so very, very Titanic-esque) I noticed a few small specks on the rocks next to the waterfall and realized it was three boys, climbing. Not rock climbers, with any kind of special gear or equipment, but three teenage boys, laughing, obviously there on vacation, like us.

Their mother was on the ground near me, giving extremely clear hand motions (pointing directly at the boys, then pointing emphatically to the ground next to her) that should have been obvious, and which clearly meant “Get your asses down from there NOW” but which the two older boys chose to ignore. The falls were loud and they wouldn’t have been able to hear her if she had yelled, but the hand motions, again, were crystal clear. The youngest of the three, who had made it to about twenty-five feet at this point, reluctantly climbed back down, but the older two kept going.

I watched for a few minutes, thinking to myself that if either of those boys, who by now had gotten up to about fifty feet, were to slip on the wet rocks and fall, they could be killed. Not sprained-ankle-killed, or even broken-leg-killed, but actual-dead-body-broken-neck-killed. And I started getting very stressed out. I looked over at Blaine and realized he was watching them, also. He turned to me and said, “If those were my boys, I would kick their asses.” And I thought, “Thank you! He gets it, and understands how very dangerous that is!” at which point Blaine said, “What do they think this is, their own personal rock climbing expedition? And they’re going to get killed if one of them slips.”

Which is about when I realized, I couldn’t stand there and watch it happen. So I told Blaine (truthfully) that we were supposed to meet Renee and Keith in half an hour to catch our shuttle bus back to the cruise ship, so we should probably go. And although I was totally stressed about the boys, at least the adrenaline rush from watching their foolhardiness made it so the old guy with the cane didn’t pass me again on the way back.

Vacation in Pictures -- Day Juneau

Pulling into port that morning, the weather was beautiful. Sunshine everywhere, temps in the low 50’s, at least, already that morning. We saw two bald eagles in the harbor, and enjoyed a room-service breakfast of cold cereals, coffee, fruits, pastries and croissants on our balcony …. Great way to start the day. Of course, get real -- I was on a cruise ship in Alaska --- short of a raging thunderstorm or a scorching case of herpes, I can’t think of any way to start the day that *wouldn’t* have been great.

Mid-morning, we left the ship and walked into Juneau to the (purple!) offices of Orca Enterprises, the company with whom we had booked our whale-watching excursion for that afternoon. We intended to go to Mendenhall Glacier beforehand, but Orca said they had fewer people booked for their morning tour and offered us the option to switch, so we did.

We had just a small bit of time to kill before the tour, so we went downstairs from their office and bought drinks and snacks, and sat at an outdoor table at the mall, totally loving the sunshine and great company, enjoying a beautiful view of the snow-capped mountains in the background. If the whole thing sounds a little cheesy, well, I was well-ensconced in my mid-vacation bliss by that point. You know what I mean? How the first day or two of a vacation you’re still trying to orient yourself, and the last day or two you’re sad that it’s ending. But right in the middle, you can just breathe deep and appreciate a gorgeous morning with friends, and that’s what we did.

Orca shuttled us to their harbor, where we climbed aboard the (also purple!) Orca Odyssey for our whale-watching tour.




Weather-wise, it was probably the most fantastic day of the entire vacation. While the boat was moving quickly, heading out to the more open waters, it was breezy and I was glad for my coat and gloves. The people who stayed inside the cabin never even needed a jacket, but I liked being outside on the back deck of the boat, watching the scenery and enjoying the fresh air. Once we stopped, however, I not only didn’t need my coat, but I stripped off my sweatshirt as well. *THIS* was the warm weather people said was a possibility in Alaska, and we were enjoying it to the fullest!





(I took this picture just because I think he’s handsome)


We did see quite a bit of wildlife that day …..

Whales, of course:




Even a momma and baby whale, which was really neat:




Sea lions, engaging in a very serious game of King of the Hill on a bouy:




The always cool blow-hole shot:




And of course, the image I captured over and over, probably a hundred times on this day … the humpback of the whale, as it came up for air and dove again below the water. Seriously. At least a hundred different pictures, all of them looking exactly like this one:




It was a fun tour, and I’m glad we went on it, but had to admit I was a little disappointed. I had envisioned some sort of Free Willy moment, where a great white whale would breach the water and jump over the ship while I stood atop with my arms flung open wide. Alas, that didn’t happen. But it was still a great day, with fabulous weather, and we still had Mendenhall Glacier to enjoy before heading back to the ship.

Vacation in Pictures -- Day Ketchikan

Our second full day at sea, we set our alarm for 5:30 am so we could get up and watch the cruise ship pull into the port at Ketchikan. It’s bizarre, to go to bed at midnight when it’s still light outside, sleep in a pitch-black room (thank you the inventor of dark-lining hotel curtains) and then wake up just a few hours later, when it’s already light outside again.

According to Princess, we would arrive in Ketchikan at 6:30am so I thought getting up an hour early would give us a great view as we pulled into port. But obviously what it meant was that we would be docked and ready for people to get off the ship by 6:30, because by our 5:30 wake up, the ship was already pulled almost all the way into the harbor. So much for my great view, but it was still exciting to be arriving at our very first port.

Blaine and I got dressed, then went downstairs to have breakfast (again) in one of the dining rooms, (again) because we are lazy and like for people to wait on us. Then, we got off the ship with Keith and Renee and walked around the town, window-shopping and sight-seeing while we waited for time for our first excursion.

Ketchikan is definitely a tourist-y little town, with almost every storefront selling souvenirs, jackets, jewelry, sight-seeing tours, etc. Picture it just like some of those little Mexican markets, only without the straw sombreros and island hair braiding. Flannel --- lots more flannel. But we loved it.




Despite Keith’s concerns, this was pretty much as close as we got to a bear the entire trip. He has a serious paranoia about bears. Although he assured us that it was NOT in fact paranoia, but a healthy fear and respect for wild, insane, savage animals who would just as soon rip your face off as look at you, with their fangs and claws and rabid attacking frenzies, and who see you as nothing more than an appetizer (or in the case of some of us chubby people, perhaps a whole meal) ……. a healthy fear, he explained, born from growing up in a state where they actually still have wild bears, and the occasional wild bear attack. We just rolled our eyes and stroked our little polar bear friend here some more.

After buying the requisite t-shirts and flecks of gold in a bottle, it was time for our excursion -- flightseeing over the Misty Fjords. Holy cow, doesn't it sound exciting??? In fact, I’m excited again just remembering it!

We were met at the cruise ship dock by a representative of Island Wings, the company with whom we flew. They drove us to their dock, about ten minutes away, where we waited for the floatplane to return from the tour before ours. Our pilot, Michelle, was amazing …. And quite simply, we had the time of our lives. (Or at least *I* did, maybe I shouldn't speak for everyone else. But I definitely did.)

First, Michelle had us get in and made sure we were comfortable and everyone could see. The floatplane is equipped with some kind of communication radio-thingy (I’m sure there’s a technical term, but I have no idea what it is) so we could all hear her, and talk to one another on the flight:






“No, I’m not a pilot. Not do I play one on TV. In fact, Dear God, please don’t let the pilot have a heart attack because I wouldn’t have the foggiest idea what to do!!!”


This was the first time Blaine or I either one had ridden in a float plane. It was such a weird sensation, to know you were floating on the ocean, and then to see the water going past as she gathered speed, then to lift into the air so very gently. Leaving, we got a great view of the cruise ships in the harbor:




We could hear Michelle communicating with the tower (I guess? *somebody* was talking to her, I don’t know) and in between, she had beautiful classical music on. She said the weather was idyll --- slightly overcast, which meant the warm air was lower so we would have less turbulence …. Again, with the scientific weather talky-talky, I have no idea …. All I know is it was amazing!

As she flew us around the Misty Fjords, she had an vast knowledge of the scenery, landmarks, history, animal life, plant life, etc, which she shared with us as we flew. She encouraged our questions and was quick to point out sights of interest below us. We saw seals, mountain goats, bald eagles …. Quick, two bears!!





What, you don’t see them? You don’t see those two little specks, which are basically bear BUTTS, since we scared them by flying overhead and they were turning tail and running for the woods. Here, take a closer look, I'll help you by circling them:



And once again, I laughed inwardly at Keith for being scared of something so very, very far away.

The views of the glaciers and fjords were amazing … something I’ll never forget:







But the highlight of the flight was when we made a smooth, pristine landing on the ocean .. which totally looked like a lake, and I had to keep reminding myself that it was actually the ocean. We got to get out of the plane and walk around, exploring for twenty minutes or so. It might have been the most beautiful place on earth:





And we enjoyed posing for pictures in front of our cool ride:




The setting was simply heavenly and I could have stayed all day. We spotted another bald eagle, and a seal as well. This might very well have been the most peaceful twenty minutes of the entire cruise, as far as I’m concerned.




We loaded back up in the plane, and she flew us straight back to the harbor … a feat I found amazing because from the sky, it all looked exactly the same to me. I couldn’t tell one glacier or fjord or mountain or waterfall or stand of trees apart, and I have no doubt I would still be flying in circles, trying to get my bearings. And yes, before anyone asks, this was basically the exact same flight that the people were killed on a few weeks later .. taking pretty much the exact same tour, just with a different company. My condolences to their families, and the family of the pilot. But I can tell you that I would go again in a heartbeat, it was so beautiful.

After we returned to the ship, we *just* made it to the dining room in time for lunch (whew! Heaven forbid we miss a meal!) then went back to our cabin to sit on the balcony and watch as we pulled out of Ketchikan. It was a fabulous day, weather wise, and I just sat on the balcony for a while, enjoying the fresh air and gorgeous view.

Dinner that night was in the Pacific Moon Dining Room; it was Italian, which was good, but probably not my favorite. We hung out for a while drinking wine in the Wheelhouse Bar after dinner (might as well chase good calories with bad!) then headed to bed … another big day at another port tomorrow!

Speaking of legs ...

OK, commenting on the comments ---

Leeann, thanks for the compliment; I ordered the duster from the JC Penney plus-size online shopping site. It is crinkedly-crushy velvety-like, and I love it. Already had the crinkedly-crushy velvety-like pantsuit, so they went perfectly together. And ok, I'll confess, the pantsuit is a maternity pantsuit I bought for a fancy Christmas celebration one year while I was three months pregnant. I figured I could just cinch up the waist real tight for the cruise and things would be fine. Sadly, by the end of the cruise, there was no cinching necessary.

No, my legs are right there .... but you're right, a little hard to see due to the white pedestal I'm sitting on in front of a white background, and the fact my black pants and shoes are directly in front of Renee's black dress. But I swear, they're there.

Tomika, I certainly do remember you and am glad to hear from you! You didn't include your personal e-mail anywhere, but if you'd like to e-mail me privately (kristieokc@cox.net) I can connect you directly to Blaine ... you guys (sadly) have quite a bit in common. He hasn't used anything for dry mouth until recently but does struggle a lot, especially while trying to sleep. I guess the rest of us take drooling on our pillows for granted! Actually, after the evening of my 40th birthday, ah, "celebration" (code work for drunken karaoke fest) I woke up with the worst case of dry mouth ever .... felt like my tongue was permanently attached to the roof of my mouth and someone had poured sawdust down my throat, and I was pretty sure I would never have enough spit to swallow again. Then, suddenly realized, *this* is how Blaine feels every night and every morning. Quite depressing, actually.

His biggest recommendation is to drink Gatorade by the bucketful, and he gets up every night in the middle of the night, several times, to drink more. And then wonders why he's not getting any rest. His doctor recently put him on Salogen (sp?) and he says he doesn't notice any real improvement, but he's going to keep trying it and hope for more. I'm serious, though, if you want to talk to him, just e-mail me.

And as far as my skin cancer goes, things are fine. Just the one excision, which left me with an impressive scar, and which sadly took away my enthusiasm for tanning beds. Since tanning is the non-medicated method that best keeps my dry skin/eczema under control, I'm not sure what I'll do in the future. Give myself skin cancer from tanning, or mutilate my skin with my scratching and clawing until I bleed. Which is the lesser of two evils, I wonder?

As far as books .. I read a LOT this summer. The book store at the mall was having a buy three get one free sale, so in between that and the box of books my friend Lisa sent me, I've been in reading heaven. I actually enjoyed My Sister's Keeper, although had I read it earlier in Kendrie's treatment I think the subject matter might have been harder to take. I love anything by Jodi Piccoult and read The Tenth Circle on vacation, along with ...

The Mermaid Chair (didn't like it) but did like The Secret Life of Bees by the same author (Sue Monk Kidd)

Happiness Sold Separately by Lolly Winston

Shoot the Moon by Billie Letts

One for the Money by Janet Evanovich (which I am scared to tell all of you that I didn't like because everyone here loves her so much ...)

Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella (enjoyed it)

Um, HP6 and 7, of course, and a bunch of other I can't remember since I left them all behind in OK for my mom. Basically, no-brainers that were intended for light-hearted vacation reading and served their purpose wonderfully.

I'm still using the reading list I compiled from all of ya'lls suggestions earlier, want to thank you for them again, and I'm always up for a new, wonderful read if you have another one to recommend.

And, speaking of legs .... in all seriousness, please visit Tyler's Page as today is a huge day for him. (Pam, I had gotten behind in my Caringbridge trolling since vacation, so I appreciate the reminder!) Tyler is a fellow-Georgia cancer patient that we met through some of the various social organizations in Atlanta. He's a great kid, and has the heart and strength of a lion. Today, he is having his leg amputated in an attempt to improve his quality of life and hopefully rid himself of cancer forever. What a huge thing for an 18-yr old to under go ..... please visit his site and leave a note of support for Tyler and his family!

Vacation in Pictures -- Day One on the Boat

Our first full day on the ship was a sea day. I don’t know if it was the time change, or pure excitement for whatever lay ahead, but we were up and out the door by 8am, even though it was one of our only opportunities to sleep late, without little-people interruption, in, oh, I don't know, something like Ten Years. We went for breakfast in the Vivaldi Dining Room; I know some people like the expedience and choice of the buffet for breakfast, but I’m all about letting someone serve me, and take my plate away, and refill my beverage, and put my napkin in my lap with a wave and a flourish, no matter the time of day, so we enjoyed the full-service dining room.

They had advertised a Bridge Tour that morning, in the schedule of onboard activities for the day, and I thought Blaine would enjoy seeing the inner working of the ship’s bridge with a tour … so I encouraged him to go, and Keith joined him. Unfortunately, it was a class on how to PLAY bridge …… um, my bad.

So, instead, we walked around the ship for a while, orienting ourselves. It was misting, so not a lot of people out on deck, although we did have a great dolphin sighting off the side of the ship. Then, simply exhausted from all this activity … I mean, seriously, just think about it …. I had gotten out of bed, gotten dressed, eaten, digested, walked around, held down a deck chair with my backside, digested some more, and spent quite a bit of time POINTING out to sea at the dolphins … well, I was pooped from all that strenuous activity and went back to the cabin for a well-deserved mid-morning nap. (Gah, I know! I’m pathetic!)

The rest of the day was spent doing more eating, and drinking, and eating some more. Did I mention eating??? I gained fourteen pounds on this cruise, and I think I know the reason why, since every time I turned around my mouth was open and I was shoveling something into it.

This was the first of two formal nights and I thought Blaine and I, and our entire group, cleaned up pretty nice, if I say so myself.








We had dinner in the Vivaldi Dining Room, and had what was without a doubt, hands down, the best crab quiche I’ve ever had in my entire life. Well, ok, SURE, it was the only time I’ve ever had crab quiche … but I’m not even kidding. It was to die for.

After dinner our group split up, and I dragged Blaine to the ship’s performance of “The Piano Man”, a fabulous medley of singing and dancing numbers to the songs of Elton John, Billy Joel, Barry Mannilow, Liberace, etc. It was really, really good --- so good, I went again the next night, also. But once again, we went to bed early because we knew the next day was going to start early, as we were due to arrive in Ketchikan at 6:30 am.

Not the brightest crayon in the box.

So, my kids watched “Max Keeble’s Big Move” for like, the eight BILLIONTH time this afternoon on Disney channel. They figured out how to work the DVR and now I’m basically screwed. For those of you unfamiliar with the story, it’s about a young boy who has to stand up to bullies, both of the middle-school, and adult, variety. It’s a story about getting picked on, and getting even, etc.

This evening, my son, my nine-year old son, who, can I just add, was selected to be in his schools GIFTED program this fall, asked his ten-year old sister to give him a swirly.

For fun.

And so she did.

Because she could think of no good reason NOT to submerge her brother's head in the toilet and flush.

And they laughed hysterically.

(sigh)
What the hell is wrong with my children?

Vacation in Pictures -- Day Vancouver

After our fun night in Seattle (thanks again, Heidi!) we got up early the next morning and left the hotel, driving our rental car to pick up Keith and Renee, who had stayed in town the night before. I felt a little cruel and heartless, being so anxious and excited to get on the road, as their two boys cried and protested they didn’t want their parents to leave. Sorry, boys, we’re OUTTA here!

We made the drive to Vancouver, enjoying the sunny weather. Our biggest problem on the drive wasn’t getting across the border with no passports, or the Canadian money exchange (what the heck is a loonie???) or even those pesky metric equations (although I did about have a cow before I remembered the difference between miles and kilometers and thought we had missed the exit for Vancouver.) No, the most difficult part was finding someplace to buy wine to take onboard the ship with us -- and believe me, we hit quite a few exits, searching for booze, looking like the alcoholics we must be.

Once we finally found a liquor store in Vancouver and got properly stocked up (which just makes me laugh -- I don’t even DRINK wine, but there I was, buying two bottles to take with me because heaven forbid the SHIP MIGHT RUN OUT OF BOOZE!!!) then we headed to the cruise terminal to drop off Blaine, Keith and the luggage. Renee and I returned the rental car and took a cab back to the terminal, where it wasn’t until later we realized that the driver probably thought we were a gay couple, as we were practically giddy with excitement and kept talking about “our” cruise and the cruise we were taking “together”.

We made it through security, customs, and check-in in about half an hour, then headed to our rooms. Blaine and I had splurged (well, at least I considered it splurging for two cheapskates like ourselves) and booked a mini-suite with balcony. We were very happy with our room, and the larger-size balcony made the entire trip worthwhile, as I envisioned watching the scenery pass by from the balcony chairs, with flannel blankets and hot chocolate in my gloved hands. We started unpacking, panicking only slightly about the fact all our luggage had shown up except for the carry-on bag with the computer, phone chargers and camera chargers in it.

We met everyone for lunch in the Horizen Court Buffet, and the first order of business was purchasing one of the “All You Can Drink For One Price” soda cards. They might not have had Diet Dr. Pepper on the ship (pretty much the only thing wrong with the entire cruise, if you ask me) but I can still drink my weight in Diet Coke, so the card was a great deal for me.

After lunch, we went up to Deck 14 to view the ship taking off out of Vancouver. I have to say, we couldn’t have asked for a more perfect day. It was sunny and warm, probably in the low 70’s. People were walking around in shorts and t-shirts (although weenie-me had a jacket on) and there were even people jumping in the pools already. I assume the ship was waiting on a few late passengers, as push-off was delayed from the planned time of 4:30 until almost 6pm. In the meantime, Blaine and I had snagged two deck chairs and enjoyed the band that was playing outside, and the beautiful views as we pulled out of Vancouver.








The six of us met for dinner in the Santa Fe dining room and settled in to enjoy our first restaurant meal on the ship. We had two waiters, both from Thailand, both of whom claimed their name was "Woody". They told us to call them "Woody 1" and "Woody 2". Hmmmm.

Anyway, between the group, we ordered quite a variety of menu items … favorites for the evening were the mushroom soup, halibut, and prime rib. Stand-out item was a (disgusting looking, if you ask me, but hey, Renee said it was fabulous) pina colada soup, served in a drink glass with a straw.

After dinner, we went for the Welcome Aboard Show, then back to our cabins by 11pm, very relieved that the bag with our computer had re-surfaced. Apparently the name and room tag had come off and they were holding it at the customer service desk, waiting for it to be claimed. Can you imagine me, going ten days without a computer???

It had been a long, long day and we were pooped. So, first night on the cruise ship, with gambling and entertainment, and drinking and dancing, all at our fingertips, and we were in bed by 11pm. Wow. Such party animals, aren’t we?

And so it begins ....

I know, I know, you've been dreading it, and probably hoping I would just forget about it, but here comes the Great Uncle Earl episode, where I bombard you with photos of our recent vacation ... where you nod politely, and murmur “oh, how nice” in a low voice, all the while wondering just how many hundreds of pictures I’m going to parade in front of you and how endless it's going to seem and questioning if it will EVER end.

Hey, “parade”! We saw a parade in Skagway! Want to see some pictures!?!?

So, first, to give you a sense of where we were and who we were with, this is the boat we were on:




It’s lovely, isn’t it? Mainly, I was happy that they never ran out of food, and it didn’t sink. The vacation was a success, right there.


This is a photo of Blaine and I, the first night out on the deck. For all you people who said it would be warm in Alaska in July, well, two words for you: Gloves and coats. Or maybe two better words would be "big weenie" because that's apparently what we are.




Here we were on the first formal night … much much happier inside, with climate control.





And here’s my dear friend Renee who, along with her husband Keith, and two of her friends from back home, came with us. Judging by the looks on our faces, by this point in the evening, there might have been alcohol involved. Maybe. I’m just saying.





It was neat to see the decorations and work that went into commemorating our travel on the 4th of July …



…but what I didn’t get a picture of were the almost-exact same decorations that were up a day or two before, to celebrate Canada Day. I suppose they would have decorated New Zealand Day, or Guam Day, or anything specific, so as to make all the passengers feel special. I would have felt MORE special if I had figured out where they were serving that cake later, though.


While it was definitely cool on the deck in the evening, I was surprised to see that the pools, even the outside pools, almost always had people swimming in them during the day. Sure, the water was heated, but it still had to be a pretty brisk walk back to the cabins when these crazy fools adventuresome people got out of the water, don’t you think?





Oh, thank goodness, if I fall overboard, someone can toss this to me so I can float. Never mind that according to science, the average human can only survive twenty minutes in water that is only 45 degrees. I’ll be a frozen blue Popsicle, but I’ll be a floating Popsicle.




And yep, here we go, the requisite “King of the World” from Titanic …… but I think she’s much cuter than Leonardo DiCaprio, don’t you?