(In no particular order .....)
1. I am really friggin' out of shape.
1a. There are a lot of stairs at Great Wolf Lodge. Most of them go up, which is unfortunate for people who are really friggin' out of shape.
1b. Don't complain about lines to get on water slide rides, because that might be the only chance you get to catch your breath in between the exhausting treks up the stairs, over and over and over.
2. You should check to see if your swimsuit bottoms have a hole in them BEFORE you wear them on vacation.
3. The weight of four ("well-fed", in the words of one of my friends) adults on the Tornado makes an AWESOME difference in the amount of sweet air you catch in the funnel.
3a. Remind me next time I go to Great Wolf to only invite people who are much larger than me ..... its a tad embarrassing for the skinny-minnie lifeguard to place you in the "fat" seat in the tube each time, and put the tiny children on either side of you to "balance out the weight of the tube" ......... whatever.
4. If you get thirsty enough, you will drink regular Dr. Pepper instead of diet, and not even bat an eye at the extra calories, because you know you will burn them off on the stinking stairs.
5. After leaving Great Wolf Lodge, and driving to visit friends in Dallas ..... A friend who has two boxes of Milk Duds waiting on your pillow at her house, and a case of Diet Dr. Pepper in her fridge, is a true friend, indeed.
6. Texans take 7-yr old football very seriously.
7. 8-yr old, too.
8. But when your friend's sons both win their games, and the sun is shining and the temperature is perfect, it is an awesome way to watch a football game. And although I realize the coaches take it very seriously (and maybe some of the parents, too, I'm just saying) and I doubt they would agree with me, I still say at that age, "cute" is the appropriate adjective to describe the game. Although "undefeated" is a nice adjective, as well.
8a. Much better than being at the Cotton Bowl yesterday, anyway.
9. Don't kid yourself that "who cares what I look like on the drive home, it's not like I'm going to see anyone I know."
9a. When three young men stop you at a gas station on I-35 and comment on your sweatshirt, telling you that they graduated from the same high school, that will be cool.
9b. Then they will tell you that they graduated in 2004, and you will abruptly and hurtfully realize that you are older than dirt and be quite depressed about yourself for a while.
9c. Then you will eat the two boxes of Milk Duds and not be so depressed anymore.
10. Halogen headlights should be outlawed.
(I realize that number 10 kind of came out of nowhere, but my gosh, those things are obnoxious shining into your eyes on the highway ---- obnoxious!!)
11. "I Love You, Man!" is just as funny the second time around.
(Yeah, number 11 kind of came out of nowhere, too, but who doesn't love Paul Rudd?)
12. More than Paul Rudd, I love mini-vacations. How many days until Fall Break 2010? And who wants to join us at Great Wolf Lodge?