Brayden: "Mom, you should know that I got sent to the principal's office today and you're probably going to get a call."
Me: "Why were you sent to the principal's office?"
Brayden: "Because B. sent me a note in class asking me out and the substitute totally had it in for me and embarrassed me and all my friends thought it was ridiculous and I should never have gotten in trouble for it!"**
Me: "Wait. Why did B. ask you out? You're too young to date. Plus, you already have a 'boyfriend' "
Brayden: "No, C. and I broke up two weeks ago. But I need you to understand that it was totally not my fault I got in trouble."
Me: "What do you mean you and C. broke up two weeks ago? Why? What happened? Why didn't you tell me?"
Brayden (loooooonnnnnnnnnnggggg exasperated sigh): "Because I KNEW you would go all Dr. Phyllis on me!"
And with that, I didn't know whether to laugh, or cry at what's clearly ahead.
**For the record, a little further poking and prodding in the conversation revealed a few teeny tiny (picture my thumb and forefinger, pinched very very very very closely together) minor details Brayden forgot to tell me (like the fact she was completely disrespectful to the sub) and that she in fact, actually, probably deserved the trip to the principal's office. And did I mention that the substitute is not only our neighbor, but in my ladies Bible Study group? Man, I love small towns.