Should have at least bought myself dinner first

As anyone familiar with this blog knows, I am not really computer-savvy. I'm not technically "afraid" or "intimidated" by computers and technology, I just want them to work -- properly -- without problem or complication or glitch. Ever. Because I can sail along fine for months on end and as long as things are working, I'm happy. But the minute there's a hint of a trace of a problem with anything tech-related, the minute my computer does not do what it is supposed to (and normally, what it's been doing just fine for years) I flail about and moan and whine and wail like a two-year old in dire need of a nap. It's not pretty, just ask Blaine, the unfortunate soul who usually bears the brunt of my tantrum frustration.

I started Kendrie's Caringbridge site in November of 2003, so about five and a half years ago. I started this Not Quite blog in December of 2006, and have been slowly (v....e....r....y....) slowly trying to get all the old CB entries copied and pasted over, so that everything is in one place -- a process I find tedious and boring and slow and dull as anything and well, you get the picture. Which is probably why I haven't made more progress.

For a brief period, I was all raz-matazz with borders and graphics and music on the site, but over the years, as I've gotten lazy streamlined my style, the only thing I've continued to share are photos. I should probably be more internet safety-conscious about putting so many pictures of my kids online -- isn't this the very thing Oprah preached against recently? And goodness knows I've listed our last name enough that it's way too late to go back now and try and pretend to be all anonymous ... plus, to be honest, I don't have the creativity or energy to think up cutesy little online nicknames for my family members. We are who we are, and I put us out there, names and photos and all.

Anyway, blah blah. What was my point?

Oh, yeah. I share photos because I like to. I like seeing them on other people's sites, and as long as I continue to feel comfortable with it, I plan to continue sharing them here. I love that some of you feel like you're watching my kids grow up and are kind enough to care about my kids, even online.

I've been using a Yahoo Geocities site for the entire five and a half years, primarily problem free, to store my pictures and link them to my blog. I pay a small fee per month for "x" amount of data storage and "x" amount of data transfer usage and for the most part, once I figured out the process, it's been great. First I download my pictures from my camera to my computer, then I have to use my photo editing program to resize them to fit the blog. Then I use the Geocities Easy Upload program to get the photos to my Geocities storage site, then I use an html code-link-whatever-you-call-it to place the photos in my blog. There's no doubt an easier way to accomplish this, but after so many years, I have it pretty streamlined, it doesn't take too long, and I am content with the process.

Or should I say, WAS content.

(yeah, that's right. another long, tedious post where I bitch and moan about computers and computer service technicians and life in general ....humor me, please)

The only problem I have is sometimes I go over my allotted amount of data transfer usage each month, depending on how many hits my site gets, and how many photo-heavy entries I post. When that happens, all my pictures turn to little red x's until the month resets itself. It's annoying, nothing more, but when I got notice last night that I was fixing to exceed my limit -- again -- I thought perhaps it was time to finally do something about it. So I followed the Yahoo prompts to "buy more data transfer" ...... and signed up for their web host program, which provides unlimited data storage and unlimited data transfer. Sweet, huh?

Um, no.

I went into my Geocities account this morning to make sure it had been credited the additional amounts (because Lord knows they charged my credit card immediately for the entire year) and it hadn't. So I called their sales department, which promptly transferred me to the tech support department, where I had an estimated hold time of 34 minutes, and would I like to push "1" for a call back from the next available representative, why yes I would, thank you very much.

And when he called back, the conversation went a little something like this:

Yahoo Customer Service Tech Support Guy (heretofore known as YCSTSG): "Hello, how may I help you?"

Kristie (heretofore known as person who should leave well enough alone when it comes to her computer): "Yes, I have a question about a web hosting upgrade I purchased last night ...."

YCSTSG: "Yes, go ahead ..."

K: "OK, so. I have a Geocities Plus account that works great, but I was exceeding my data transfer usage on a regular basis, so last night I followed the prompts to get unlimited usage by upgrading. But when I checked my Geocities account just now, it's still showing I'm about to exceed my limit. Why wasn't my account credited?"

YCSTSG: "That's because your new upgrade site, with unlimited storage and unlimited transfer -- congratulations, that's awesome! -- is separate from your Geocities account. In fact, we've phased out the free Geocities accounts, so this is definitely the way to go."

K: "But my Geocities account wasn't free, it was a paid service. I don't want to *change* it, I just want to expand it."

YCSTSG: "I'm sorry, that's not an option. You have a new site now and will need to store your photos there."

K: "Ok, so what about the two freaking THOUSAND pictures I have stored at my old Geocities site? What happens to them?"

YCSTSG: "Well, eventually, they'll disappear. So I recommend transferring them all to your new site."

K: "Hmmmm. OK, let me think this through for a minute, since I'm not really as tech-savvy as you ...."

YCSTSG (appreciative chuckle)

K: "If I transfer the photos to a new site, the url for each picture will be different, no?"

YCSTSG: "Yes, but you have UNLIMITED storage so it doesn't matter!"

K: "But! It DOES matter! Because if each of these two thousand photos is coded or embedded or whatever you call it in my personal blog with a url link to the OLD site, won't every photo in my blog disappear when the address changes? Turn into a little red x permanently?"

YCSTSG: "Well, yes, there is a chance that will happen. Or you could just go back and change the addresses in your old blog entries."

K: (starting to feel a bit of panic now) "No, that's not an option. There are two thousand of them --- I can't possibly go back through five YEARS worth of entries, line by line, changing url addresses for two thousand pictures ..... "

YCSTSG: "May I access your Geocities account?"

K: "Of couse."

YCSTSG: "It looks here like there are only 1,756 files, so not quite 2,000 ..... plus there is a chance the old address might still work after you transfer them over, if your new account links to your old account. That seems to happen sometimes."

K: "So technically not 2,000 EXACTLY, thank you Mr. Less Than More Than, but still. I'm not doing it, or taking the chance they won't transfer over. Cancel my upgrade, please, and leave me at my old level of usage. I'll just risk going over sometimes."

YCSTSG: "Weeeeeelllll, here's the problem. Once you've upgraded, if you decide to cancel and go back, you'll only get the Geocities Free version, and your pictures will be gone."

K: "But I didn't have the free version, I had a paid version."

YCSTSG: "Yes, but you'd have to go back to free, then start over with a different upgrade, and none of your photos would be saved."

K (seriously, getting panicked right about now): "But they're right there, I can still see them in my account!"

YCSTSG: "Yes, but if I cancel your web host upgrade, you will lose everything."

K: "So let me make sure I'm understanding this. Because I upgraded and got a new site, none of my old addresses are any good anymore, and *possibly* my photo-links, all 1,756 of them, will no longer work. But if I *cancel* that upgrade, which I ONLY bought in an effort to fix this minor problem, I definitely lose all my photos, am I understanding this right? I will lose FIVE AND A HALF YEARS WORTH OF PHOTOS, ARE YOU KIDDING ME????!!!!"

YCSTSG, finally beginning to see the light: "Yes, I see what you're saying, but that's right."

K (near hysteria): "And so now the only way to fix my NEW problem, which, again, I only have because I was attempting to correct a teeny tiny minor problem, why the hell couldn't I leave well enough alone, is to transfer my photos to my new site and then manually change 2,000 addresses, one at a time???? Is that what you're saying to me???? So basically I just screwed myself, didn't I? I tried to do a simple, good thing, and buy a little more transfer, and it completely backfired and now THERE'S NO WAY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH TO SIMPLY REWIND AND GO BACK TO THE WAY THINGS WERE?!?!?!?!?!"

YCSTSG: "Um, well, that's correct. But the good news is you have unlimited storage and usage now!"

At which point, I am embarrassed to say, I burst into tears on the phone and the poor man had to wait for me to compose myself, tissues and nose-blowing and all.

He tried to reassure me that because my photos were still showing up yesterday, even after my new site was up and running, that was a good sign that maybe they did actually link over (although he made no promises what might happen come the end of the month when my old account expires ....) Then he tried to walk me through downloading a free file transfer program so I could easily transfer the photos over -- but it didn't work. So while he was on the phone with me, I searched high and low to disable my firewall, hoping that was why it didn't work. And then even after I disabled my firewall the file transfer program STILL wouldn't work --- and at this point I had been on the phone for over half an hour, and I started crying again.

Because, DUDE. I realize this blog, and Kendrie's Caringbridge site, aren't exactly Noble Prize worthy literature. I acknowledge they're not going to set the world on fire, and that starving tree monkeys in the freaking rain forest could care less .... But they're MINE. And I'm conceited enough to be proud of them, and vain enough to acknowledge that throughout the past five and a half years, I have spent a LOT of time uploading, resizing, uploading again, and linking all 1,756 photos, to share with everyone who so kindly comes here to read.

I. CANNOT. BEAR. THE. THOUGHT. OF. LOSING. THEM. PERMANENTLY.

Of course I wouldn't lose the photos themselves, I have everything backed up on CD. But anyone clicking ANY previous journal entry, beginning from day one in November, 2003, until yesterday, including ME, will not see a single picture, unless his "maybe, hopefully they'll link over" prediction comes true. I feel as if one of the most important aspects of the blog (or at least one of the parts that is the most special to me) the photo-journey of Kendrie through her leukemia treatment, and the photos chronicling of the past five years of my children's childhood, will be ..... gone, just gone. The entire blog will be ruined, in my eyes, with those photos gone.

So then I started crying a little more.

First it was that quiet, frustrated, suffering in silence kind of crying so the person on the other end of the phone doesn't know. But he was asking me questions, about did I have another firewall, and had I considered just starting over with a new blog, and how really, the unlimited storage and transfer was great, and maybe it wouldn't be as bad as I thought .... Honestly, I couldn't even answer him I was so upset. So then he thought I must have hung up (or perhaps laid the phone down in order to go somewhere and slit my damn wrists) and he was all, "Hello, hello? Are you there?!?!"

Ultimately, he felt sorry for my sniveling self, because I could NOT get the transfer program to work, no matter how many different things he told me to try, so he offered to do the entire thing for me remotely, right then and there. So I let him, even though it took another half an hour on the phone. Also, knowing full well that although having the photos on the new site is a step in the right direction, it's still not going to alleviate the problem when the old site is shut down and none of the addresses work anymore.

And I'm sorry this is so technical and boring to anyone who doesn't understand what I'm talking about, although really, those people probably quit reading thirty minutes ago because seriously, nobody gives a shit except me, so if you're still reading this AT ALL, thank you for indulging my techno freak out temper tantrum.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go look at those pictures of Brayden some more. Because I have a sinking feeling they will vanish when my month is over, along with every other picture I've ever put on this blog.

Then I'm going to go pout about it some more.

Computers suck.

The end.