Lazy Thing Number Two

Updated to add my own observations about tonight's concert:

1. It is a damn miracle they haven't induced an epileptic seizure in any of the audience members with those blinding strobe lights.

2. Dude, seriously. Next year I will take sunglasses. I was squinting like Gilbert Gottfried every time those things started flashing.

3. When you're sitting that close to the side-stage, the fire is realllllllllllllly hot. In fact, I think my right eyebrow might be singed.

4. There is nothing cooler than taking two 10-yr olds who think "This totally rocks, man!" which therefore, makes me totally rockin' by association.

5. I have decided what I want to be when I grow up: a singer for TSO. Those girls are young, beautiful, have rock-star hair that they flip all over the stage, and can sing like nobody's business. Unfortunately for me, I am old, chubby, and can't carry a tune in a bucket. But I do have the hair ... so that's a start.

6. If #5 doesn't work, then my back-up plan is to make Kellen continue taking piano lessons until the day he can take over for Derek Wieland, then I can get in to all the concerts for free. I'd pin my hopes on Kendrie, but she says "loud concerts are scary" ... which pretty much rules out any hope of TSO.

7. I'm sorry, what did you say? My ears are ringing ......

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Can you guess what I'm doing tonight? Hmmm? Can ya? Can ya, hmmmm?

Yep, my very most favoritest holiday tradition, the annual Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert. Blaine is not feeling good enough to go, so I'm taking Kellen and a friend of his, and bursting thier little eardrums exposing them to the experience that is a TSO concert at an early age. I can't stinking wait.

And, although blatant plagerizing is almost as bad as posting a link, or repeating myself .... dudes, seriously, I cannot sum up the TSO experience any better than Crystal did last year at Boobs, Injuries, and Dr. Pepper. (See link in my sidebar to read all her great stuff.)

I laughed until I pretty much wet myself when I read this on her blog last year and linked to her then. Crystal, because she is both smart AND pretty AND funny AND nice, gave me permission to post it again this year because seriously ... she is DEAD SPOT ON with her rendition of the evening and I can't WAIT to see it and hear it again for myself this year.

So tomorrow, if you see me wandering around town in a daze and call my name and I don't answer, it's because I made the parental sacrifice and gave my son the earplugs and quite frankly, SPEAK UP SONNY I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!

In the meantime, thanks to Crystal for letting me use this again.
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Friday, December 21, 2007

Aquanet

I saw the Trans-Siberian Orchestra last night. I have been wanting to see them for years, but their tickets are fairly expensive and we've just never had the extra money at Christmas.

This year, Chris bought them months ago and surprised me for my birthday. Gold star for him, because, seriously, DUDE.

Here are some of my observations:

1. There was enough hair, collectively, on that stage to keep Locks Of Love overwhelmed for a year.

2. This woman is not human. And nothing you can say will convince me otherwise.

3. This guy busted out with the Charlie Brown theme and then somehow segued into Chopin and I wet myself.

4. Tommy Farese sang some song, I don't even remember what it was but it was incredible. And then his Hair went crazy and ate the bass player.

5. It doesn't matter if you like rock, blues, classical or the sound of tiny leprechauns singing dirty limericks, you will find something to love about this show.

6. DUDE. FIRE. LIGHTS. MORE FIRE.

7. My husband was the one that screamed, "FREE BIRD!!", during a lull in the guitar solo. He cracks himself up.

8. The Hair got depressed after it ate one of the backup singers and sat quietly in the corner, weeping, before security hauled it away.

9. FLAMES, BIG HONKIN' FLAMES. PRETTTTTYY.

10. The lady next to me was drunk and smelly. I forgave her that because the narrator told me I had to be nice, being this was a Christmas show and all. When she elbowed me for the twentieth time, I leaned over and whispered, "My husband? He ate one of those huge chili-dogs with extra onions, so I apologize beforehand if you lose an eyebrow or anything." She leaned the other way. God bless us, every one.

11. It is well worth every penny. This show left me awestruck, and they did it for three hours. I don't think I've ever done anything for three hours.

12. Open flames, big hair and lots of hair product = some day, something really bad is going to happen and I hope they have a fire truck waiting outside. That's all I'm going to say about that.

13. They broke into, "Proud Mary", and geriatrics everywhere went ballistic. No one broke a hip and it was a beautiful thing.

14. Do you know they had a headline the day Ike turner died and it said, "Ike Beats Tina Turner To Death"? I mean, seriously? Who let THAT one slip?

I had one thing going through my mind through the entire show...but...

nevermind.

Merry Christmas. Keep your hair under control.