Clicking in Return?

This second match meeting went much along the same lines as the first. Talking with the couple, the counselor leading the discussion about personal, intimate, awkward things, (Hello, my name is Kristie, when was your last period? Why can’t you have children? How do I feel about having some man who is not my husband watch as I push his baby out of my bagina?) and in general, simply getting acquainted. I was just as nervous, and can’t claim to have relaxed immediately, but there was definitely a much more “comfortable” vibe in this air this time. Of course, part of me worried I was confusing “comfortable” with “pheromones of desperation” and maybe they could sense my freakish nervousness and were just being polite ….. I don’t know, it *felt* like we were getting along well, but given my past experience, what did I know???

Again, the counselor recommended the four of us go eat a late lunch together, so we did. The moment I knew this was the couple for me was when she pulled out photographs of their family, home, dog, etc, and said, “I hope you don’t think this is presumptuous of me, but I’d love to show you some of our life.” They already had a son, and you could see how proud they were of him as they told us about him. They appeared to have a great relationship; caring, without fawning; teasing, without being mean. They had lived overseas and told us about that experience ….. they asked about the military, and seemed genuinely interested in our kids and our life …. simply put, Blaine and I really enjoyed our lunch with them. It felt more like a “getting to know our new friends” lunch than any kind of weird, interview-type-process.

Then, as we were saying our goodbyes (again, with the “no committing one way or the other until Monday morning” rule making the good-byes all weird and self-conscious) they pulled out a big sack with gifts in it. I just stood there, sort of perplexed, like, “Um, what is this for? Crap … was there some sort of White Elephant exchange that no–one told me about?” and she told me they were for our kids.

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that” was what came out of my mouth, when what was going through my head was “Shit! No one told me I was supposed to bring a present!!! Awkwardness! Awkwardness!”

“You gave up an entire Saturday” she replied, “and left your kids with friends, two weeks before Christmas, to fly half way across the country and meet us. I *know* this was an inconvenience and we just appreciate it so much, that we wanted to say thank you.”

OK, they’re friendly, funny, laid-back, open, NOT-anti-military --- AND they’re thoughtful as well???

You can understand why I called the counselor on the way to the airport and told her that YES, this was the couple for me, with no hesitation whatsoever this time, no need to wait until Monday to think it over.

PS. I hope all of you know that it wasn’t because of the gifts themselves …. It was because of the thoughtfulness behind the gifts. If they were that considerate of our time, and our own lives, at our very first meeting, I knew they were the kind of people that I would like to work with.