Monday, July 07, 2008

Confusing and not so confusing

Things that made me confused at the water park today:

The very large number of people (both men and women) who obviously don’t own mirrors (or eyes) or they would know to buy their swimsuits just one size larger. And I’m not simply making fun of the chubbies. No matter what size you are, none of the rest of us want to see your butt-cheeks or your boobs hanging out the bottom of your suit.

The fact that my children were not at all hungry for the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I so lovingly prepared and then schlepped to the park for lunch …. But that five minutes later they were starving and begging for curly fries (which they did not get, by the way. Hello, Meanest Moms Club of America, another plus for my membership.)

The fact that so many teen age girls clearly spent hours putting on their make up and flat-ironing their hair before coming to the park. To get in the water. Which pretty much ruins the effect. I don’t know, I guess I was that vain myself once. Apparently not any more; you only need look at me with my chip clip in my hair and sun screen on my nose and “blouson” swimsuit to know the truth --- the vanity bus has left the station.

The GINORMOUS swastika tattoo that man was sporting on his shoulder as he walked around the park. I mean, seriously? He didn't think a shirt to cover that thing up might have been appropriate? (For the record ... I'm not anti-tattoo ... I have three myself. But I am anti-hate-tattoo.) I've heard of people waking up after a night of drunken antics with tattoos ... which might explain it. Personally, I'd rather wake up from a night of drunken sex with Napoleon Dynamite than to have something that nasty on my body. Or maybe I'm just being knee-jerk ... it originally was intended to represent good luck, right?

That so many people arrive at the park first thing, throw their towel across a deck recliner, and leave. For hours. Taking up all the chairs by the pools, and rendering us moms-who-would-like-to-sit-and-keep-an-eye-on-our-kids chair-less. For goodness sake, people, spring for a locker and free up the chairs if you’re using them only as a towel rack for yourself.

Things that made me happy at the water park today:

Seeing the family next to us try to have lunch. A mom, a surly teenager, and three young children. Only two deck chairs (thanks to the obnoxious greedy towel-rack-people) for the five of them. The mom walked up and said to the teen age boy, who was lounging in one of the chairs, “Why aren’t you swimming? We’re having a great time on the slides, you should join us.” To which the boy replied, “I don’t want to do anything.” Then she told him to sit up and move his legs so one of the younger kids could share his chair and he said he didn’t want to.

At that point, she leaned over and whispered to him, in a voice so threatening and low that I think I was the only other person who heard her, “I don’t care WHAT you want to do. Move your ass NOW and share that chair. We didn’t come all this way today so you could sit here and act like a complete jerk so you will move and then you will swim and You. Will. Enjoy. It.”

I was kind of sorry they left soon after that. I think she and I could have struck up a lovely conversation and probably been life-long friends.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Go "stranger" Mom!!!! I love it!

Meg from Ga

jadine said...

That thing the mom growled at her teenaged son? *I* was that son (figuratively speaking) when I was a teenager.

ALL of the pictures we have of family vacations, etc. (including one to Disney Land) included me scowling menacingly with my arms crossed over my (totally flat) chest.

Now? Totally embarrassing to look at those pictures, and I won't stand for my kids not smiling (said with angry hissing voice) in our family pictures. Which is probably why so many of our family-fun-time pictures include fake, feral smiles: with one kid's eyebrows up in his hairline, and the other with his eyebrows in a frowny "V" going down his nose.

Good times. Good times.

Anonymous said...

I had to chuckle at the mention of the "boobs hanging out the bottom of your suit" comment. There but for the grace of God go I in a few years if I don't watch it. LOL

Gotta love the other mom too....GOOD FOR HER!!!!

Pat in Antioch

Anonymous said...

Your attempt to rationalize the meaning behind a swastika is offensive. Regardless of what it may have meant centuries ago, it has long been a symbol of hatred and genocide. For you to look for the good in it is, at best, naive.

CAT said...

Hey Kristie,

Well I totally hope you don't take what "anonymous" wrote above me personally, because obviously he/she wasn't proud enough to leave their name so they don't stand behind what they write anyways. And your intelligent readers realize the point you were making in your blog!

Anyways, sounds like another fun day with you kids, they sure are lucky to have you as their mom!

That other mom could totally be me, I hate when the kids sulk when we are doing something fun!!

Have great evening!

Cathy

Anonymous said...

I always feel weird when I sign "Anonymous" (but I ALWAYS sign my name at the bottom), but for some reason, the blogger part doesn't always work for me.....so I take the easy way out, and hit anonymous!

Pat in CA

drewsilla89 said...

good gracious almighty woman. you are freakin hilarious!!! i totally peed my grey paint stained pj pants over the comment of "sex with napoleon dynamite" how does a person come up with that craziness??? good lord...... i heart you so much kristie. i have a blouson suit too. they are the bomb. just sayin.
dana from il

Kristie said...

Anonymous, "rationalizing", as you implied, was "naive" in your opinion. But had I not attempted to "rationaliz", it would have been naive or narrow-minded to someone else.

I respectfully believe this falls into the category of "you can please some of the people some of the time, but not all of the people at any time ....." or whatever that phrase is. In other words, sometimes no matter *what* I type, SOMEBODY gets their panties in a wad. I'm sorry that today it was you.

Jacqueline said...

Ok first...I have got to see this boobs hanging out of the bottom of the swimsuit thing...I'm trying to imagine, but it isn't coming out right.

Second, someone up there is pretty darn snippy, aren't they? I didn't really feel like you were rationalizing the tattoo, rather saying how it could have happened. Still...if he had been regretful at all about it, I would think, like you, that he would attempt to cover it up.

Also, I want to be in the meanest mom's club of america...but sadly I'm not yet a mom...I could be like an honorary member, right?

Totally want to see pics of your tats...show us some skin! Ok, that came out wrong...you know what I mean.

jadine said...

I *knew* you were going to get some crap from a ding-bat about the tattoo. Just illustrates that people can choose their interpretation of intent.

Now, I'm with Jacqueline --- show us your tats! (with an "a")

Anonymous said...

I went to Schlitterbahn in may and was worried about my suit. Then i noticed the people who don't have mirrors and felt so much better. I don't comment much, but I want you to know I enjoy your blog. My son is an ALL survivor so I started reading Kendrie's caringbridge and like every one else, I can't wait till the end of the day to read what is new with your family.

Kim Huggins

Frozen Star said...

In my opinion, the history of a symbol does matter, and the swastika is a symbol of good things. For instance, in hinduism its a symbol of the creator god Brahma, in buddhism it represents dharma, universal harmony and the balance of opposites. In Jainism it is a holy symbol that represents the seventh Jina (saint), in abrahamic religions it's mostly decorative or, as you say a symbol of good luck. In Asian tradition it's used as an alternative symbol of the sun. It has also been used to a lesser extent in a lot of other cultures.

So there.

Hitler exploited a symbol that really has nothing to do with anything evil. But German soldiers also had belt buckles that had 'God is with us' engraved on them. Does that mean that Christians should stop believing in God because Hitler used God to justify his actions?

Anyway. I wouldn't count on that guy to have tattooed that particular symbol on himself because he's religious... I mean, I know what the symbol stands for, but I wouldn't want to have it on my skin permanently, mainly because a lot of people do not know what it really means, and they would probably think I was some kind of neonazi.

Anyway

You're hilarious Kristie!

Trish in Va said...

1. gotta say that I think the same thing about the people without mirrors when we are at the beach!

2. anonymous is obviously lacking the guts to sign his/her name, so their opinion (to me) lacks any merit. (plus I totally understand what you were trying to do and it wasn't bad at all!)

3. That guy should have been asked by the park to cover or leave.

4. frozen star- Thanks for the lesson! I never knew those things before. Now I think I may go google some of that information to learn even more about the symbol.

URBAN BLONDE said...

Kristie what you wrote about the swastika tattoo wasn't offensive the guy with it was.
And I agree with trish in va that he should have been asked to cover it or leave.

I laughed out loud at the mom with the son. I love Mom's like that cuz I was one of them! Give me a Mom who is REAL anyday over some of the pansy-ass Moms I see out there. ;)

Sherri said...

Hi Kristie,
Sorry that I haven't commented in awhile. You'd think that now that I'm out of work and laid up at home recovering from a lumpectomy, I'd have plenty of time for doing more than just reading, wouldn't you? I didn't comment on the cell phone debate because frankly, I just can't remember what ages my girls were when they first got cell phones. They are 19 and almost 23 now, and whenever it happened, it just seems like such a long time ago. Damn it sucks getting old. On the plus side, I know I'm not one of those women whose boobs are hanging out the bottom of their swimsuits! YET.

Sherri in NC

Anonymous said...

You never fail to crack me up. I LOVE your blog.

Karen in Texas

Anonymous said...

I love it!! you are so right... Lots of times when my kids have ball games and we will spend all day at the ball park I too pack a lunch! However, my kids are not "hungry" for lunch meat, PB&J etc., but let Grandpa head to the concession stand and they all fall right in line!! The same person who use to make me eat a picnic lunch when we went places because it was too expensive to do everything!! LOL.. oh well, his money and my 5 minutes of quiet time..well worth it!

Kristina
OHIO

momto2boys said...

This is a great post! I think that mom and I would've gotten along well too. I do the whisper thing too...even though I swore as a kid I would never do that. How about "you wait til we get to the car"...that's one of my favorites. Sorry about the nasty negative comment from anonomous.

Momo Fali said...

I love that Mother...whoever she was. And, if you find her and could get her to come have a talk with my nine year old (yes, I said NINE), then I would love you too.

Anonymous said...

You are right-on with the swimsuit fitting. Unfortunately when I was a teenager I took a butane gas powered curling iron with me to White Water. Oh yeah!! I am lucky if I even brush my hair some days now. The sleep is way more important than spending over an hour just on hair. Then it gets wet anyway. The vanity bus left this station too.
Wendy in Winder, GA

Wendy said...

I, too, have noticed this strange phenomenon of people without mirrors. I have even asked my husband, on several occasions, to help me start a charity for PWM. Alas, he just looks at me strangely...

As for the heifer who wouldn't add her name... Sounds like she's the one doing all the hating. I bet she's the same one who's always leaving snarky comments. Obviously she just doesn't like you, so why doesn't she just go away?

www.notesfromthesleepdeprived.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

As the proud owner of a 17 year old son I can so visualize the scene you described. My son transformed from a silly, friendly, chatty member of our family in to a sullen, antisocial human who uses grunts to communicate with us. I swear it happened overnight. Have fun with his family? You've got to be kidding; we are not fun, we are so uncool. Kristie I know your son is still years away from 17 but I will start saying my prayers for you now asking that he does not turn out like the knuckle dragger who moved in to my house this year.

Still laughing about the chip clip in your hair!

P.S. I have been known to take abandoned towels off of pool chairs and pull the unused chair up to our "group" for use. It's funny to watch the rude one who left the towel try to identify which chair they left the towel on, after all the chairs all look the same. I haven't been busted yet.

P.S.S. I have to admit tht I don't look in the mirror once I put my bathing suit on. I have a very appropriate, well fitting middle age mommy suit it's just that if I looked in the mirror after putting it on I would be forced to acknowledge just how bad I look. Ignorance can be bliss!

RM in MA

Eloise said...

Great post! Your "the vanity bus left the station" really cracked me up.