One Adult Admission to State Fair: $6
Kids under 10: Free
Four Unlimited Ride Wristbands: $60
Playing games on midway to win piece-o-crap prizes because Lord knows your kids don’t already have enough crap in their toy-boxes at home: $6
Three hotdogs, two caramel apples, two bags cotton candy, seven sodas, one order chicken strips, one pork pulled sandwich, and one funnel cake: $47
Hearing your 7-yr old daughter’s infectious giggle on the Yoyo swing ride: Priceless
Watching your 9-yr old try so hard to stay cool and nonchalant on the Super Himalaya ride, then burst out laughing when she just can’t contain herself: Also priceless
Introducing your kids to the time-honored State Fair tradition of cotton candy for lunch and funnel cakes for dinner: The most priceless of all
Letting your 8-yr old eat an entire bag of cotton candy, then ride three spinning rides in a row until he renders himself completely sick: Not quite as priceless
Having to explain to your kids why it’s not OK for teenagers to look that way or dress that way or act that way: Less priceless
Having to listen to your son complain, despite the fact you have spent $119 and seven damn hours at the fair, that you didn’t buy him a root beer float like you promised: Even less priceless. In fact, it’s down right annoying.
Why do I let these kids out of the house, anyway???
PS. Kidding, really. The kids and I had a great time today; beautiful fall weather, the yummy goodness that is fair food, holding baby chicks, learning to spin wool, plowing with real plows behind real horses, holding our noses while we ran through the cow pens, and no fighting because I threatened them within an inch of their lives before we ever left the house. Ahhhhh, good times.
Except for the root beer float incident.